Talk about power of the press! Soon after I wrote this department’s August column, in fact before it was even published, MTV modernized its astronauts-landing-on-the Moon logo station break with flashier colors and stylized beeps. Now I can watch the ID without experiencing the roach-paranoia the earlier version suggested to my overwrought brain. I rather doubt that the image technicians at MTV were acting directly on my orders when they made the update, but I nonetheless may have tapped into some undeniable Will Of The People with my complaint.

And, if you believe that one, you’ll also buy the idea that Bob Dylan “responded” to my VidVid kidding of his lackluster “Sweetheart Like You” video by making the much more impressive “Jokerman.” Given Dylan’s obsessively guarded style of expression, I had voiced skepticism over his being able to project himself thoroughly enough to make a really convincing video. As usual, Dylan outsmarted us all. The “Jokerman” video prints out the lyrics over a rapidly-shifting series of paintings, news photos and esoteric graphics from all over the rainbow in a staccato approach that fits Dylan’s ranting-prophet verbal style perfectly. We get tantalizing glimpses of a charmingly personal Dylan interspersed with the words as Bob squints shyly into the lights and tries his darndest to keep that rare, million-dollar smile from breaking loose. “Jokerman” makes Dylan seem so accessible that he could well qualify as the first huggy-bear phophet to emerge from the Old Testament.

Actually, this has been the month for videos showing us just what down-to-earth lovable guys certain pop curmudgeons really are. First we had Lou Reed’s “I Love You Suzanne,” in which he plays a rather Rick Springfield-like aspiring popster (!) pursued by fans so wholesome and innocent they could babysit Mo ■ Tucker’s kids any night of the week, and now we’ve got Elvis Costello’s “Only Flame In Town,” featuring a Mr. McManus so mellowed out he looks like he could maintain his sweetly gap-toothed smile even if he was to be confronted by Dick Clark (and Ed McMahon). The fact that Daryl Hall turns up in the “Only Flame In Town” video as Costello’s buddy-buddy shows how far the surviving Elvis has come since those abrasive early days; back in ’77, he would have punched Hall in his sculptured hair—just for openers.

More striking to an old sensationmonger like me are two similar pieces from disparate, rather unlikely sources: Jean-Luc Ponty’s “Individual Choice” and the Gap Band’s “Jam The Motha.” Both feature the technique of time-lapse cinematography. In Ponty’s video, speeded-up suns, clouds, and moons race across American cities (including my own Cincinnati, bizarrely enough), as lights rush up and down skyscrapers in response to the clock. The Gap Band vid features an amphetamine excursion in nighttime L. A., all head & taillight freeway streaks and insane pedestrians rushing headlong into the lurid sidewalk vortex. Jean-Luc Ponty’s visually absent from his video, and the Gap Band appear only on animated billboards in their street scenes. But both videos are so graphically beautiful (especially their intense colors) that I’m totally sold on the packages, songs and all. Videos do their stuff.

However, for understated classiness on a shoestring shooting allowance, you must check out Cameo’s “She’s Strange,” in which the hero drives up to the mysticmama scene in a 1967 Dodge Dart (albeit a) convertible! Even a foreigner like Robert Plant was handed the keys to a “classic” American ’55 Chevy for his “Big Log” video, but Cameo apparently had to make do with their own wheels to come in under budget. Funky but chic!

Neither chic nor particularly funky is Ratt’s “Round & Round,” which MTV insists on programming every 22.3 minutes during prime time. This video is notable for Milton Berle’s double presence, both in a tux and in his traditional drag, though neither outfit has anything to do with David Lee Roth. The Ratts themselves seem mostly interested in crashing their lowbrow way into some stuffy dinner party, first they fall through the ceiling dish, and then...uh...I forget what it all means.

Ditto for Scandal “Featuring Patty Smyth,” who have abandoned the bright, swinging-mod pastels of their “Goodbye To You” video for doomy, pompous “Warriors,” a depressing song brought even lower by a dismal video. These guys have blundered into the demons & wizards soundstage where Ronnie James Dio stores his soiled jockstraps, and if they don’t wanna betray the pop promise they showed last year, they better bail out now!

Other dud videos: Billy Idol, “Flesh For Fantasy,”—Could be Mr. Idol’s the biggest poseur ever, though he’s undoubtedly a master of curled lip-synching. Jefferson Starship, “No Way Out”—Cancer cell Mickey Thomas continues his insidious mutation of this once-proud band into Journey clones. Grace and Paul are shunted off to the side as aged “weirdos.” Chicago, “Stay The Night”—How many more media formats can these yokels find to show off their essential cretinism?

Still, there are always more quality videos as compensations: Dolly Parton, “Potential New Boyfriend”^Shot in a very Monty Pythonesque England for that final touch of disorientation. The milquetoast horn-rimmed protagonist resembles Dolly’s long-patient hubby Carl even more than she already suspected. Violent Femmes, “Gone Daddy Gone”—Grainy black & white film with ersatz scratches, evoking nostalgia for consequencesof-V.D. horror movies from ancient high school health classes. Crystal Gayle, “Till I Gain Control Again” —Method-acted schizophrenia so graphic parental guidance is suggested (my kid can stay, but James Taylor’ll definitely have to leave the room). A sweet song nonetheless.

Now that I’ve gotten MTV to clean up their logo act, my next crusade will focus on the irritant of the veejays getting too chummy with this Pee Wee Herman character. I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands by hereby spreading the rumor that he’s actually an escapee from a prominent Poconos honeymoon circuit case, and that a sizable reward is being offered. That’ll fix Pee Wee good. And, incidentally, his capture would make a swell video!

BEND ME, TAPE ME

THE FALL: Perverted By Language Bis (IKON F:C.L.)

WARREN ZEVON

(Sony Video LP)

PETE TOWNSHEND

(Sony Video EP)

DEVO: We’re All Devo

(Sony Video LP)

The Beast Of I.R.S. Video

(I.R.S. Video)

The mixed Messing that is rock video shows its true worth in places you wouldn’t think to look. Like right on top my desk, for instance.

As I type these words I am staring at five separate videocassette packages. Three of them, have the word “Sony” on them, one of them bears a picture of the sunglassed moron who represents I.R.S. Records, and the other has no identifying corporate marks whatsoever—unless “IKON F.C.L.” means as much to you as, say, Nipper the pooch. Some of these tapes are great, some of them are good, and some of them are merely taking up space on my desk, wondering why I’m even mentioning them.

I, too, wonder. I wonder why some of them exist.

Let us agree that rock video, in 1984, can serve humankind in many different ways. It can provide us with music and images we can obtain nowhere else. It can offer us music and images we could obtain elsewhere, but certainly not in such a neatly organized fashion. It can be packaged as commercial product when it is, in fact, nothing more than a slickly-produced advertisement— but we won’t notice that and watch anyway, fully entertained. And, finally, it can keep us at home in front of the television rather than off downtown somewhere, where we might easily be hit by a bus. As I said earlier, it is a mixed blessing.

Of the five videocassettes I speak of, each provides a service of the sort described above. Some more so than others. Take The Fall's Perverted By Language Bis tape. Were it not for the pre-recorded vidcassette format, the bu|k of this 53-minute program could be seen on no other medium, be it MTV, Friday Night Videos or even your standard rock club vidscreen. Why? Well, not because the Fall’s Mark Smith sees fit to utter “shitpissfucktitasscunt” during an inspired moment of performance, and not even because there aren’t many Americans who actually want to know about the band in the first place. Basically, no one will air the thing because the production is god-awful—sloppy, disjointed, and very, very cheap.

But—and it’s an important but— the tape itself is superb. It’s worth watching because it illustrates the band’s very essence: they are gratingly aggressive, they are continually obnoxious, and Smith rants longwindedly about things most Americans won’t begin to understand simply because they’re American. In short, they have character. And so does this tape. It conveys what the Fall’s all about—why they’re held in great reverence in Britain, for example— and does so with pictures and music, not words. And when Smith is interviewed, there’s a warmth there that’s funny and revealing.. .and light years away from Huey Lewis “dropping by” to plug his new video apd say hello to Martha Quinn. Plain and simple, home video like this serves a purpose.

But not to pjck on MTV. Though one suspects they had more in mind than mere philanthropy, they recently entered a production agreement with Sony and are now responsible for some nifty new tapes of their own. Like Warren Zevon, an official “Video LP” you may have already seen. Where? On MTV.

Get it?

It’s a repackaging of a Zevon concert they aired a while back, recorded at New Jersey’s Capitol Theatre in November ’82. Of course, //you had a videocassette recorder, and if you liked Warren Zevon enough to tape it then, this information is meaningless to you. If you didn’t, it’s probably meaningless anyway—but I like Warren Zevon, and I’m glad to own the damn thing. FYI: it features his greatest hits; if you hate rock video but have a Beta Hi-Fi machine, you can play it with the TV turned off and enjoy a super-high-fidelity live “album”; if you have a Time Machine you can actually go back in the past and prevent Warren’s dad from meeting his mom—and, thus, conceptually negate Warren himself and the tape in question. The options are there, and they are yqurs.

Ditto one Pete Townshend, former Who guitarist and current book editor. Here is an artist who needs no introduction. During the past 15 years, both with the Who and in solo work, Pete Townshend has remained at the forefront of rock, defining rock’s course as he grew and changed. Surely you agree? Good. Now you don’t have to read the liner notes to his new Video EP. Here again is an MTV special—this time 30 minutes of Pete contemplating his Role In Life through voiceovers while he stroljs around England looking for a new lead vocalist. Included are several videos from his last two so|o LPs and—perhaps most fascinating, as one who just acquired a microwave oven last week—a detailed shot of the original Mr. T fixing his breakfast, including two microwaved eggs which, remarkably, do not explode while cooking. Who collectors will probably enjoy this tape, and it is better than a strungtogether home tape of hjs videos, but 1 doubt I’ll ever watch the thing again.

Speaking of strung-together home tapes of videos, my own collection of the hilarious Devo videos may just as well be junked, thanks to Sony’s We’re All Devo Video LP. The 54-minute tape contains nearly every one of Devo’s now-historic videos. Interspersed between the yuks is a vague storyline featuring Laraine Newman and Timqthy Leary—more yuks—and the “Worried Man” video, taken from Neil Young’s “not widely circulated” (yuk #3) Human Highway film. In all, these are some of the most intelligent rock videos ever made, certainly worthy of many repeated viewings. As with the Fall tape, it’s good home video that has very little to do with exploitation of any sort.

Wish I could say the same for The Beast Of I.R.S. Volume 1. Though I suppose one could assert that the company has the consumer’s best interest in mind, the videocassette is accompanied by an audio tape featuring upcoming I.R.S. acts, and that litt|e-mOron-withthe-sunglasses’ picture pops up eight or nine times. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, but the blurb on its case—“all your favorite I.R.S. hits come to life on your very own TV screen in these wild & wooly ROCK videos!”—implies that you a) have a favorite “I.R.S. hit” and b) by nature you should like them all because they’re on I.R.S. And while I may love R.E.M. and Let’s Active and enjoy Howard Devoto and the Cramps, my idea of a good time—and a good tape—has nothing to do with the Lords Of The New Church or Wall Of Voodoo. The whole package screams 1M1.R.S. —BUY ME! I’ve got nothing against the label, but Jesus—next thing you know they’ll put out a tape called “Duets From Hell.”

No...um, wait a minute...

(Fall tape available from : Of IKON, Factory New York Limited, 325 Spring Street, Room 223, New York, Ny 10013)

Dave DiMartino