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MAIL

You don’t have to print this if you don’t want. Last May, in Tampa, I saw Ozzy and Motley Crue. I ended up backstage cuz Nikki liked my looks. When I went back there, about 27 people were standing around the Crue. I could hardly see Nikki or Vince.

November 1, 1984

The CREEM Archive presents the magazine as originally created. Digital text has been scanned from its original print format and may contain formatting quirks and inconsistencies.

MAIL

Send all your hot 'n' heavy love letters, vicious hate mail, warped comments, and tamper-proof food products to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064 Birmingham, Ml 48012

CRUE AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT

You don’t have to print this if you don’t want. Last May, in Tampa, I saw Ozzy and Motley Crue. I ended up backstage cuz Nikki liked my looks. When I went back there, about 27 people were standing around the Crue. I could hardly see Nikki or Vince.

Anyway, they were talking about names and they said a whole load of them before they said their real names and I was wondering if I believed the lie, or is it the truth?

Vince Neil’s name is Vince Wharton. Nikki’s name is Frank Reece. Tommy’s is Tommy Bass and Mick’s is Robert Allen Dio. He swore he was Ronnie James. Dio’s cousin. Though they look alike, I still felt kinda like they were joking still.

Anyhow, they’re a bunch of wild guys and they sure know how to have a great time!

I don’t think you should print this because they don’t want their names, to go around, especially Nikki. He hates his Dad and the name Frank Reece.

Teena Prescott

Cass, FL

For your information, Vince, Nikki, Tommy and Mick are not “daughterporkers.”

Concerned Crue Fan

San Antonio, TX

PREFERS BRUCE TO MOOSE

Things I want to do to Bruce Springsteen’s body:

A. EVERYTHING.

B. EVERYTHING AGAIN.

C. EVERYTHING ONE MORE TIME.

Rosalita in heat

Chicago, IL

DISGUSTED, ENRAGED, ETC.

I’d just like to say that I was truly disgusted, enraged, and stupidified by your article on rock ’n’ roll androgyny. Who is this Rick Johnson character?

Well, I wish we were all as macho and manly as Mr. Jackson (I mean Rick)! [You mean Johnson—Ed.] Is he one of those tough guys who kicks dogs and beats women to prove his awesome masculinity? No one’s gonna call him a fag! Of course not! Well, you know what they say: those who have to stand up and make a stink about gays, transvestites, etc. are just trying to hide the fact that th£y really want the old (CENSORED!).

I liked all the really cheap rumors that Mr. Dick came up with. Those must have taken a lot of research. He must have talked to a lot of second graders. Why doesn’t he go work for the National Enquirer? That’s more his level. I thought that a magazine such as CREEM would not stoop to such a low level as to print such jackass fables. You shouldn’t spread lies about the people without whom you would not be in business.

Next time I want to buy CREEM, I’ll look for it at the checkout counter at the local supermarket.

Someone

Somewhere

P.S. Especially upsetting were your real intelligent remarks about Brian Jones and Jim Morrison, which you admitted were “made lip.” Why don’t you write a story about the threat of black performers to us clean-cut, American, God-, fearing children?

(Great idea!—Ed.)

TRUTH STINKS

Is it true that Valerie Bertinelli is leaving Eddie Van Halen to join Mink DeVille?

Amy “The Mickey” Powell

Garbagefield, NJ (Yes. -Ed.)

JOHN & JANINE

The following are the careless memories of our eyewitness account of the first time John Taylor tried to seduce his girlfriend, Janine Andrews, at Simon’s house. The date was New Year’s Eve, 1983. This account was written after our midday meal of strawberry Dunkin’ Donuts while on a sugar high.

“John, what are we doing in Simon’s trophy room?...John, what’s wrong? You’ve a strange expression on your face, John!...What’s wrong?!.. .Why are you taking off your pants?...MY GOD!!...What is it?! Is this normal?.. .John, why are you ripping my dress? I paid fifty pounds for it.. .John!! Why are you sitting on me? Better yet, why are we on the floor? John, get off of me! You’re heavy! John! JOHN!... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRGHL..JOHN! YOU BEASTLY SAVAGE! I HATE YOU! I’M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!...John!! Stop chasing me! John! Let go of my ankle! You’ve hurt me bad enough already! Leave me alone!...John? What’s with the chains? John?...Why are you taking that whip off Simon’s wall? JOHN!!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!”

Rio & The Ragged Tiger Somewhere on Planet Earth P.S. There’s a fine line drawing our senses together and we think it’s about to break.

THOUSAND SHIPS LAUNCHED

The reason why Duran Duran isn’t just named Duran is because they wanted their name to be like their music—repetitive.

Bowie Fan/Duranie Killer Redlands, CA

PROBABLY ONE IS RIGHT!

I am probably one of the many readers who have this opinion, but I decided to be the one who spoke out. I just wanted to let you know that this magazine is fantastic! I’ve been a reader for awhile naw and every issue has been loaded with great stuff! In your August Mail column, I read that one girl asked about nice letters. I decided to be an exception. Keep up the great work and please put some ZZ Top, Scorpions, Crue and Van Halen in. I sure hope you publish this because it will show others that someone is kind enough to care and speak out!

Crunchem’

Brownsville, PA

(We think the nicest letters are N, Q, and H. -Ed.) .#