Rock 'n' Roll News

Rock 'n' Roll News

Van Halen closed the Seattle Center Coliseum with a bang, not to mention a boom, a jump, a hoot, and a slightly-out-of-tune ka-bleemo! At least 22 people were injured and 45 ticketed in a riot celebrating the facility’s final show before scheduled renovation begins.

R.E.M. vocalist Michael Stipe spent the first week of the group’s “Little America Tour” on crutches, and not the rubber variety. Mutterin’ Mike stepped on a mysterious “creature of the deep” while doing the breaststroke in the Pacific Ocean near San Diego. Puzzled paramedics— who couldn’t understand a single syllable the injured singer was hollering— nearly performed an emergency appendectomy on the spot until one of them noticed the blood on the victim's foot. Stipe was forced to deliver his gorgeous-ifincomprehensible vocals from a barstool at that night's concert, and had to temporarily give up riding the vintage six-wheel bicycle he brought with him on the road. Reports that the "creature from the deep" was in reality Nikki Sixx remain unconfirmed at press time.

Continuing the R.E.M. Report, the band was joined by several historic guests at a special New Jersey appearance. Former Lovin' Spoonful goonful John Sebastian opened up the show, followed by Byrd nerd Roger McGuinn, onetime Youngblood bud Jesse Colin Young, and three ex-Band hands, Rick Danko, Levon Helm and Richard Manuel. Then they all got together for the old Band favorite “Rag, Mama, Rag” and encored with old Byrd and Spoonful hits.

Bang, bang—you’re outta tune! Bon Jovi bassist A.J. Such was arrested by New York City cops as he stepped off the stage at Madison Square Garden. Too many encores? Nope, it seems Such was wearing a loaded gun as part of his stage outfit. No big deal—he was busted for wearing it without a permit! Unfortunately, it’s still not illegal to do something that moronic.

What do you say to ‘a wet Scorpion? That was the question when the German heavy metal band blew into Phoenix for a photo shoot. Sunny AZ was chosen for its desert vibes, so naturally, the first rain in the area for over three months soaked the guys the second they stepped out of their trailer. Divine retribution for those rude album covers, we bet.

Culture Club’s latest triumph is the unconditional surrender of Japan to forces led by Boy George. Mr. O’Dowd and friends, who’ve scored six Top Ten hits out thataway, finally visited the “other” empire on a concert tour, much to the delight of their kamikazillion fans. George hit the kids with the muchdreaded Big Three— (1) Performing in an Oriental bridal outfit complete with bountiful bouquet; (2)Speaking to the fans in fluent Japanese; and (3)Stripping drummer Jon Moss and bassist Mikey Craig right down to their underpants! Hooray for geisha rights!

While the man who is The Boy was terrorizing the Orient, our English agent Cynthia Rose reports that British club owner Philip Salon was getting in his “licks” about O’Dowd’s somewhat portly figure. “George is on a seafood diet at the moment,” the unlikely-named Salon quipped to News Of The World. “He sees food and then he eats it.” Har har, we’re sure.

In case you’re one of the lucky billions worldwide who missed it, Bay Area floozies Huey Lewis & The Newsies sang the National Anthem at this year’s All Star Game in San Francisco’s Candlestick Park. Their brilliant a cappella rendition soared through the chilly fog, bounced willy-nilly about the frigid upper deck, and squealed out of the nation’s televisions like hari kari day at the doggy kennels. Made our day, for sure!

Judas Priest fans finally went off the deep end at New York City’s Madison Square Garden, reports CREEM pic-clicker Ebet Roberts. The dapper snapper stood aghast as the audience ripped the foam padding out of their seats and began hurling it at the band, perhaps thinking it would muffle the pain. Since foam rubber is not known for its aerodynamic properties, most of the stuff landed on the hapless photographers instead, eventually filling their “pit” up to neck level with the disgusting spongy substance. To top it all off, CREEM writer Toby Goldstein got kicked in the mouth by one irate fan apparently disturbed by Toby’s statement that she wouldn’t wear outfits like those of the audience out of her bedroom, even if she was dead! Don’t give ’em any ideas, Toby!

Van Morrison has just been signed by PolyGram Records. Look for a new LP this fall.

There-at-the-beginning California group Spirit have reformed for the umpteenth time, although on this occasion, all the original members are around, including solo dud Jay Ferguson and recent Heart bassist Mark Andes. They’ve just completed a video for their remake of “1 Got A Line On You,” which features a guest jammer or two, including Bob Welch, Jeff Baxter, a couple of REO Speedwagoneers, Gary Myrlck, Joe Lala, Keith Knudson, and more! Love that boldface, don’t you?

John Gorman, the PD at station WMMS, is one of the leading proponents of the Rock Integrity League. In fact, just this month Gorman blew the whistle on a Slade concert that occured in downtown Cleveland, Ohio. To make a long story a little shorter, John’s station was promised by CBS Records that they would be able to sponsor a free Slade concert in their area, so imagine their surprise when they found out a rival station was hosting the appearance by this august group. Imagine their even greater surprise (and possible relief) when they found out that Slade were not going to play live, as billed by WGCL, but were going to lipsynch six songs, remixed from their Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply. The lip-synching was bad enough in itself, but degenerated into parody when the four of them tried to sound, to quote Gorman, like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on the chorus of “My Oh My.” To make matters worse, after they completed their six-song set, one of the WGCL DJ’s came out and said, “Weren’t they great? You want them to come out and do some more?!” Finally, a roadie tapped him on the shoulder and whispered in his ear. The jock looked up and said, “They can’t come back, they have a plane to catch.” What we haven’t figured out yet, is why did they have to rely on Memorex? Now we know why!

Word is that Mick Jagger has finally begun a solo LP at Island Studios in the Bahamas. CREEM fearlessly predicted this event months ago, if you’ll remember. Come to think of it, you probably wouldn’t remember, because that item was brutally supressed by forces of oppression on the indefensible grounds that it was made up! Ha!

Berlin burns! Well, kinda. As the band was performing an encore at the Memphis Music Festival, a lighting cable next to the stage exploded into six-foot-high flames, setting the wooden structure afire. The band wisely scattered, leaving their road crew to call the fire department. It took the guys in the rubber outfits over two hours to put out the blaze. They, however, were not called back for an encore. ,

Many of you have asked us, “Pock ’n’ Roll News, what do rock ’n' roll stars eat after the show?” Many more of you have asked, “What is the meaning of Jello?” or, “Why am I reading this?” We’ll get to those later. Meanwhile, one of our intrepid photog spies cornered Night Ranger stranger Jeff Wataon after a recent show and got the scoop: Jeff eats a whole loaf of Wonder Bread, coated with strawberry jam and crunchy peanut butter, of course. Why d’ya think they call it Smuckers?

It’s here at last! The one thing we’ve all been waiting for ever since our dental ribbons became obsolete: barbed wire jewelry! Don’t worry—it’s only plastic! Too bad Tony Carey can’t say that! Some of these here goshdarned barbed wirg necklaces, wristbands and anklebands (what, no undies?) even come emblazoned with the logo of your favorite heavy metal band, so you can openly display your loyaltythrough-pain. If you’ve somehow survived this long without the single most' important product of 1984, you can now purchase these items through the mail or down at your nearest roadside vegetable and plastic barbed wire jewelry stand now!

Biblical wrath struck the plush offices of America’s Only this past week in the form of a massive flood from above! “Just a busted heat pump,” insisted our beloved landlord, planting the pish-posh on foolish editorial notions of divine retribution. CREEM eddytorial assistant Ann Maria Fazio, who was taking a story over the telephone from one of our many “timeless” contributors, merely uttered, “There’s water coming down! And it’s hot!” before switching to a different phone without missing a semicolon. Wotta trouper!

According to secret inside sources at Chicago’s Ambassador East hotel, Duran Duran man Nick Rhodes and pal Julie Friedman are not exactly hitting it off these days. Seems Julie caught Nick drooling all over one particular female fan, whom he described only as “beautiful.’’ So miffed was Julie, she gave a bellhop fifty bucks to “make sure she never gets up here again.” Listen Julie—for $100, we’ll even delete this item!

If that no-name band opening for Elvis Costello’s summer tour looks a bit familiar, that’s because they are a bit familiar: Nick Lowe, John Hiatt, Paul Carrack and Martin Balmont can all be found in the lineup. This sets a new indoor record for Most Guys With Solo Albums Out in one opening act! Still, the world snored...