KISS & TELL

KISS & TELL

by Jaan Uhelszki

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: Rod Stewart was spotted making a late night call on former manager, Billy Gaff, who was oh-sounceremoniously dumped by Stewart a couple of years back. Yes, it looks like the couple have kissed and made up—but not renewed their vows—though Gaff has other things on his mind, namely wet nursing another flaxen-haired warbler's career. You do remember Limahl, don't you?—he was the coy blond lead singer of Kajagoogoo until he was oh-so-unceremoniously dumped sometime last year. What do you mean, they must have a lot in common? As for the 'Mod,' he seems to have fallen from grace on all fronts. Why, just the other night, Stewart was all decked out in white-on-white when he arrived at the door of a Hollywood club where one of his musician pals was performing. The trouble was when Rod gave the guard his name, the fellow thought he was an imposter and insisted that he pay the $4.00 admission. 'You have got to be kidding!' he snapped—and needless to say refused to pay. It seems there's a lot of that going around among the old wave. Rod should have taken a tip from Mick Jagger who had a similar problem at a Little Steven And The Disciples Of Soul show. Our quick-thinking Mick just whipped out his gold American Express card for positive proof that he was the Mick Jagger, and was given the go-ahead. What do you mean Rod doesn't have any credit cards—Alana took 'em?...Clothes Encounters: Cathy Lee Crosby seems to be making quite an impact on Ted Nugent. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was the one responsible for his 'updated' stage look—have you noticed the upscale metallic jumpsuits that the Ted has been slipping into? What do you mean they look like something he got secondhand from the Commodores? It makes you kind of hanker for the loincloths of yore—but I'm afraid they are a thing of the past. Nuge donated a 'used' loincloth to radio station WIOT in Toledo, Ohio, who will award this sacred rainment to some lucky listener. Some luck...In case Ted runs out of suitable duds, he just might consider looking up Buy George. That renaissance Boy is now dabbling in the rag biz, designing his own line of clothes which will be called Common Currency—for the common man, or boy, no doubt, since nothing in the line will cost more than 20 pounds, (that's $34.00 American.) 'There will be boob tubes for men but definitely no dresses!' George rather primly disclosed. Boob tubes?...Hair Today: Did you ever wonder how Rob Halford of Judas Priest comes up with such a delicious shade of blonde for his shorn tresses? (You didn't?) Hours at a posh salon in Phoenix's most chichi-est district—stripping, painting, and blending just the perfect shade of lemon meringue? Nope. Rob may be famous, but he is still frugal—and also more than willing to share his beauty secrets with you, dear readers. 'My hair is dyed about once every month with L'Oreal. Do it myself. I cannot see the point of spending $50 for a haircut. Bob the barber in Phoenix does it for $5.00,' he revealed. So, run down to Rexall and buy a box of Sunbeam Blonde and you too can look like the scintillating Mr. Halford. As for Bob the Barber, you're on your own...Boys Will Be Boys: Culture Club (them again) have been really living the life— chowing down at the best eateries, staying in the smartest hotels—you know the type—the ones that usually don't cater to the business of common rock folk. In fact, when the band was in Buffalo, they were treated to their choice of the better suites at the Buffalo Hilton (What's a better suite in Buffalo, one that doesn't face Love Canal?)-privilege denied Van Halen just the week before. In retaliation for this unconscious slur, the imps from / Pasadena asmeared pizzas as all over the woodwork, demolished the furniture, and then left a one Sent tip for the chambermaid Do you think The Tonight Show with Joan Rivers might improve Van Halen's status with Conrad Hilton? You know I thoeght the band was trymg to upgrade its I image when David Lee began getting weeldy manicures Love At First Bite: incidentally is looking more and more like Billy Idol these days, has been laying a little low since the band got off the road. In fact, he's only just recovered from a two-month bout with mononucleosis (commonly called the kissing disease, so any of you lovelies feeling a little rundown had better go get your shots. You know who you are.). Not too low to talk about the Police's next album, he divulged that the band will do a studio album this year if he can come up with some new songs. The ever humble Mr. Sumner asked: 'I'm a rich, successful songwriter, so what do I write about now?' Do you think he really wants an answer?...You Meet The Nicest People On A Honda: In an effort to update their image, Honda has hired Devo, Grace Jones and Adam Ant to do a TV commercial for their motorcycles. The funniest thing is that Adam doesn't even know how to drive (although his father earns his living as a chauffeur). If this trend continues, the next thing you know Phillip Morris will be calling up Mr. Ant to pitch Marlboros— since Adam is also a non-smoker. How should I know if his father smokes? Monopoly Money: Duran Duran's Andy Taylor has ju t purchased five apartments in a converted auth London school building for an estimated cool miihon Maybe that's why Andy (along with fellow Taylor Twin, John) are moonlighting Nile "Chic" Rogers has just hired th two of them to guest on his w album Not coincidentaily, Rogers will be producing Duran Duran's next album, due (or a Christmas release... I Wanna Be Your Dog: When Lydia Lunch, former gal pai of Thomas Dolby and certifiable eccentric, recently was asked why she has so many different boyfriends, she replied, "Why teach an old dog new tricks when you can always find a new dog?" She obviously hasn't met David Lee Roth yet. What do you mean you don't get it?.. Just remember, if you have to Kiss & Tell, Kiss & Tell Me...