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PLEASE FINISH DRIVING US CRAZY BEFORE YOU START BRANCHING OUT

Let's see now, is heavy metal dead or not this month? (Refers to CREEM's handy Deod/Not Dead Editorial Calendar) Hmmm...psychedelic hula is dead this month...so is speech-afterremoval-of-larynx country blues. Uh...knock-knock accordion power trios are alive this month, so is heavy clambake watusi, heavy Finnish breakdown film noir background dubbing noises, and...OK, yeah, here it is—heavy metal is alive and well!

May 2, 1984
RICK JOHNSON

PLEASE FINISH DRIVING US CRAZY BEFORE YOU START BRANCHING OUT

RICK JOHNSON

Let's see now, is heavy metal dead or not this month? (Refers to CREEM's handy Deod/Not Dead Editorial Calendar) Hmmm...psychedelic hula is dead this month...so is speech-afterremoval-of-larynx country blues.

Uh...knock-knock accordion power trios are alive this month, so is heavy clambake watusi, heavy Finnish breakdown film noir background dubbing noises, and...OK, yeah, here it is—heavy metal is alive and well!

Until the 31st, anyway.

We knew it all along, right? What we're not too clear on is what species of heavy metal. There's been a raging debate the last couple years over just this very topic, and I'm talking raging—at least up there with boyhood arguments like whether the //.// is silent in the word Funt.

You want the facts and figures? Tuff bee-screen, fedayeen! The whole silly concept exists only in the intyllectual Mexican hat tricks of various critic types. And you know about them—I mean, like last month's record reviews in CREEM. One guy sends in a stupid civil defense quiz, one gets attacked by the ghost of Karen Carpenter, and another one guns down his own mother in cold blood!

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