THE LORDS OF THE NEW CHURCH’S AIR-CONDITIONED NIGHTMARE

THE LORDS OF THE NEW CHURCH’S AIR-CONDITIONED NIGHTMARE

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Mark J. Norton

It seems one thousand liqht years from ground zero I was drinking warm Budweiser in this fucking dump called C.B.G.B’s with Richard Blum a.k.a. Handsome Dick Manitoba, watching the second-ever Dead Boys in NYC set. They were still wearing platforms, had long hair, no bass playe’r, and sonically reminded this scribe of the ate/ great/ ong-amente Stooges. It was puking ’em up. The times, bands, and alas, the drugs have changed, right?

If you’ve read this rag oyer the past cou pie years you know that Lords Of The New Church frontman Stiv Bator used to be ir

the Dead Boys; you know the Lords’ gui tarist Brian James played with the Damnyou know that bassist Dave Tregunna and drummer Nicky Turner played in less infamous outfits. But did you know that:

Years ago, when new wave wasn’t white disco, when Old Master Bator was still Boy Dead, he telephoned the CREEM orifice to lescribe this all-female L.A. band he claimwas “going to be the Next Big Thing.” ter the call was terminated, the editorial burst into laughter because not only we heard of the group he was jawing we had heard they were dogfood. So our “reliable” L.A. contact. The femme went on to sell millions of records— After the Dead Boys imploded, hightailed his skinny ass over to England hooked up with former members of this

ty group Sham 69. While wasting his with that lot, three young men from Island were sleeping in offices for lack bux, attempting to procure a record Not only did the three Long Islanders a record deal, but they managed to get Edmunds to produce ’em. Bator sent me LP shortly after its release in Britian with a note which read “They’re gona really big!” Right, I hoodawed, rockabilly goes arena rock in the States hahahaha. I ate my laughter for breakfast when the Stray Cats opened for the Stones. Go figure.

History, sweet history. In late 1983, \forementioned anecdotes probably

never did likjifte Go-Go’s or the Stray due to their ilk of all-important attitude. the Go-Go’sjMkd attitude they’d cover Stooges’ clasllli L.A. Blues” (a song prompted efSfermer girlfriend to “Sounds likdjjjpsic to menstruate by.”) stead of rewr^fc Ventures’ tunes, and Stray Cats 1|| attitude they definitely wouldn’t be llln with Britt Ekland. what’s a guy 1® Stiv Bator yelping these people f§||anyway?

But I do kn« the Lords Of The Church have /ilThey aren’t a bunch sissyassed synfhlflrkoffs. They are lent, ugly, piss^f|pn/off and full of, enough (considering their dyed Roots), full of hope. I’d rather listen to their latest, Is Nothing Sacred? than the latest Stones’ “record.” It’s 1984adelic, it’s raw, uncompromising and most importantly, was not recorded by “musicians” who discovered Kraftwerk and Can 10 years too late.

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 42

And then some.

The conversations you’re about to read have been edited by the scribe because of their unreadable “personal” nature. Much of the transcription sounded as stoopid as the conversations overheard at the wedding of the “person” who edits what you’re now holding in your hands (heh heh) and believe me when I tell you, anything like that requires an actual translator. The scribe would like to mention, however, two things:

1) At soundcheck, a mother with spawn was waiting for the Lords to show so her kiddies could get their heroes’ autographs. Mom’s eldest, sporting a sleeveless Levi denim jacket, had “Smurfs Must Die!” scrawled above the breast pocket.

2) Lords Of The New Church guitarist/ gentleman’s wife was reading Stephen King’s Different Seasons while the “interview” took place.

What’s the major preconception about the Lords Of The New Church?

Brian James: There is none, really, because they’ve heard us on the radio. Look at the audience we get: we don’t just get punks or any other sort of particular faction. We get a diverse cross section, which is fucking great! Which is the way it should be, y’know?

Which is the best way to go to the bank?

Brian James: Haha, really! It means that people are actually listening to the music... rather than the music following a trend, which is important. ’Cos we’re a musical band. We’re not a fucking punk band or a hippie band or a skinhead band. We just do what we do.

Did you see that video the\) made of “Apocalypso”?

Bator: What!?!

It’s called The Day AfterA made-for-TV flick about the day after the nuclear holocaust.

Bator: Hey Brian! We’re gonna be on TV! hahahahaha!

You guys don’t look like punk rockers: You look more like a bike gang.

Brian James: We are.

Well, Brian, your hair was always longer...

Brian James: That’s because I felt I didn’t have to adapt to anything. I felt that the whole punk thing was about expressing oneself and I’d be fucked if I was going to cut my hair for someone else’s fucking fad. Honestly.

Have you ever thought of getting an American producer?

Bator: We’ve been talking to Stevie Van Zandt, Little Stevie.

Brian James: There are people we’d like to try, one song at a time.

Bator: That’s the only way we’d do it— one song at a time.

Brian James: There’s no point in going in blind and saying “Let’s do an album.” We’d never use an American producer without knowing he was great for us and absolutely knew what he was going to do. ’Cos we’re the only ones who know our own sound.

Did you have any reservations about working with another American vocalist after Iggy Pop?

Brian James: No, not at all. I-knew Stiv since ’77 from playing with him at C.B.G.B.’s with the Damned. When the Dead Boys played England, we played with ’em. I don’t think of Stiv as an American...there was a phase when I had not a lot to do, and Jimmy (Pop) invited me to play on his tour. So I did that.

What did you learn touring with him?

Brian James: -It’s hard to put into words.. .1 got to see America through his eyes.

Oh Lord help you.

Would going into the studio with an American producer drastically alter the Lords Of The New Church’s sound?

Brian James: At the moment it would— because I haven’t met any producers who know our sound.

Bator: English producers are generally better. They’re more experienced, they’re open to different styles, the studios are better. Take Chuck Berry—people in America ignored it, the English took it and redefined it musically, and sold back the whole package, like the Stones did. The Pistols took the Dolls’ sound then sold it back to the U.S. It’s always been that way.

Why do you prefer England to the U.S.?

Bator: My songs are better. What I think it is, is here it’s 24 hours nonstop distraction. There, TV shows are done at 1 p.m. It was weird for me.. .1 didn’t know what to do with myself for about a year. Then all of a sudden I started writing...thinking. America’s programmed to not think. America’s got no attention span. I never read books until I went to England. Now I can read a book in a week when before it would take me months.

Television in the U.S. is the great option...

Bator: Right. Then there’s bars, there’s girls, there’s drugs, there’s everything. You mean there’s no bars, drugs or girls in England!? That’s a buncha shit! Just because you don’t know what self-discipline is —

Bator: I just know my own demons. See, in England it’s more competitive and that’s why 1 think the producers are better. It’s a smaller area, everybody knows what everyone else is doing.

Brian James: The economy is so bad, you’ve really got to put a lot of effort into it.

Bator: They’re hungry. That’s what I found was lacking in American musicians. English musicians are more like ‘Yeah, let’s go for it.’ Go for broke.

In essence, you’re an expatriate.

Bator: No. I just never felt at home in the

U.S_I’m not saying England is a great

country either. See, I never felt allegiance to any country, really. Or any city.

☆ ☆ ☆

Like the Was Brothers wrote, “Needless to say, the party broke up.” As Our Gang trundled out the door, I asked Stiv what the next trend was. He mumbled something about a “Batcave” movement.

Holy shit, Batman.