Aaaaaaaargh!

It’s that time of year again. As even the most worm-like besotted readers (and that includes most of ya) know, each annum The Dauphin scans the charred landscape of Moviedom to see what festering debris has ac: cumulated over the past 12 months. Yep, loyal fans, it’s Boy Howdy’s Ten Worst roster and, as usual, it reflects the drug-addled tastes of a film hierarchy that “cuts deals” in the Beverly Hills Hotel, an inn which has barred The Dauph through the year 2025. It’s enough to make you throw up into every Jacuzzi on Rodeo Drive.

Why 10 Worst? Why not 50? Our 1983 list doesn’t even have room for stupefying dross like Scarface, Two Of A Kind, Staying Alive, The Survivors, Romantic Comedy, Table For Five, (bet you forgot all about that Jon Voight classic—what a cinematic sack of owl droppings it was, too), Beyond The Limit, Angelo My Love, Hell’s Angels Forever, Get Crazy, Mr. Mom, etc. All could serve as counter-evidence to film scholars who believe that prints and negatives should be preserved.