HAIRY MONSTERS

A couple of issues back, Eleganza admitted that it was at a loss for what to tell you to do with your hair. Wear it long, Eleganza said, and you’re apt to be perceived, depending upon the frequency with which you have it, uh, styled—if you have it styled—as either some pathetic old flower child, a heavy metal cretin, or, if you still have it styled quite frequently and show your stylist a snapshot of Rod Stewart for inspiration when you do, as a shag Tory.