Rock 'n' Roll News

Rock 'n' Roll News

DEPARTMENTS

Duran Duran spent their summer vacation in Montserrat, “putting on weight,” or so sez Simon Le Bon, group lip. It’s not just gluttony—the boys blame the extra poundage on the lack of nubiles to chase the sex godz about. Amplified stick Nick, “There’s all these little girls who obviously think black cats are much cuter than 1 am!” We wouldn’t touch that one with a 10-foot Plumper.

doe “King” Carrasco dropped us a zippy Aztec postcard from scenic Columbia, where he and the Crowns are the first new music group to tour the country. The guys did an Independence Day show in Bogota (“one of the highest capitals in the world”), and plan on doing “video, recording, TV and research on South American vegetation.” Better bring us back some samples, Joe. In the name of science, of course.

Plasmatics tape queen Wendy O. Williams is filling in her offtour time filming a cinematic gem entitled Hell Camp Of The Gland Robbers. No word yet on release dates or specific glands.

“Even in a trance, they find trouble,” is a Bowery Boys commercial, but it goes just as well for British blammo-nihilist group Anti-Nowhere League. Scotland Yard’s Obscene Publications Squad confiscated copies of the League’s Live In Yugoslavia LP, citing objectionable language on the tune “So What.” So what? Well, it turns out that the coppers were acting on a tip from a panicked

listener who’d heard the cut on the radio. The band, however, had a/ready remixed the bad words into nice, safe mumbles! Now you can say “So What?”

Bebe Buell called. .

Unlock the jukebox: Phil Collins is scheduled to produce Adam Ant’s next long player. Possible remakes of Genesis’s entire Nursery Cryme album are rumored, if silly.

Blue Oyster Cult have finally started on a follow-up to their hit, “Burnin’ For You,” at San Francisco’s Automatt. Deadmart’s Curb has been mentioned as the tentative working title.

Family Wha? U2’s guitarist The Edge recently tied The Knot in England. Will his wife be referred to as Mrs. The Edge? In other daddy-plants-a-seed-in-themommy news, Shriekback percussionist Pedro Ortiz is the proud father of an all-new small mamma! named Jumping Bean. Cute? Yeah, can’t wait ’til the poor kid’s first P.E. class.

Whip “it,” Metre! In the biggest fight news since Dave Davies decisioned our own J. Kordosh in one quick, unannounced round, Soft Celler Marc Almond traipsed into the offices of London’s Record Mirror and bullwhipped an offending record reviewer. The guy had panned Cell-offshoot Marc and the Mambas’ new Torment And Toreros LP, if you can imagine. The tearful whippist later called a press conference to announce his retirement from the music biz. Don’t torture us with false hopes, Marc.

The aptly-named Limahl, erstwhile vocalist with Kajagoogoo, has announced plans for an “original” Christmas single and the possible purchase of a comb.

One of the highlights of David Bowie’s Serious Moonlight Tour occured in Philadelphia, where a hungry rut mama fastened her tentacles to Bo’s guitar strap and choked him within an inch of his dukehood. Our reporter on the scene said Davey had to “chew

his way to freedom.” Some of you Commie Block readers might want to try that yourselves.

Tom Petty is talking about disbanding the Heartbreakers again. Might be the real thing this time.

No such luck for Thin Lizzoid Phil Lynott, who admitted he was “very ashamed” after being convicted of coke and smack possession in London. That’s good for starters, Phil—now let’s hear you apologize for that last Lizzy album!

Don’t cry for me, Bat Lizardina: Sounds like Kiss have licked off more than they can swallqw (again) in sunny Argentina, where humorless terrorists objected to plans for a huge coliseum gig, citing an obscure law banning artistes who “contribute nothing to culture.” When protest failed the bad guys threatened to blow up the arena during the show. Suddenly, the platform-trolls were stricken by a collective tummy ache and had to cancel. Aw.

Planning a trip to the same highrisk neighborhood is Queen, who apparently still exist to the point of playing the world’s biggest football stadium in Rio. Freddy “Boom Boom” Cannon could not be reached for comment.

It only took one hit single for buzz-buzz, peep-peep pop whiz Thomas Dolby to start crying about life in the public eye. “Everytime I go out the door,” four-eyes bawled, “I’m treated like an invalid. I think fame is overrated.” So did NBC, Tom.

Beat on the brat: Ramones guitarist Johnny R. was listed in “critical condition” at press time after dukin’ it out with “aspiring punk musician” Seth Macklin in Manhattan. Seems Macklin was bugging Johnny’s gurl ar _

required something stronger than A mere hints. Get “well” soon. d

ELO bambam man Bev Sevan J has signed on with mud flingers Black Sabbath for their ’83-’84 world tour. “The poor schnook just wants to play,” claimed one reliable source sitting across the office here.

Police Beat: Toto singer Bobby Kitnball had charges stemming from an ’82 cocaine bust dismissed. Stemming?

David Crosby pleaded quilty to possession of cocaine and a gun in a Dallas court on June 4th. On August 5th, the judge (who is reportedly of the “hanging variety”) sentenced Crosby to five years on the drug charge and three years on the weapon rap, to be served concurrently.

And more! Greg Ginn and Chuck Dukowski—those two charmers from hardcore punk outfit Black Flag—are being tried for contempt of court in Los Angeles. The legal problems involve the marketing of the Everything Went Black LP in violation of an injunction. If convicted, the playful pair could face a five million dollar fine and 5,000 days in the clink! Say hi to Dave Crosby for us, will ya?

Skinny Aerosmlth leader Steven Tyler collapsed due to exhaustion onstage in Ventura, CA, forcing the cancellation of three dates. Wanda and Jim,

Sam and Bernice, and Henny and Denny? No, Reno, Calgary and Edmonton, dumdum!

Bruce “Boss’* Springsteen came onstage in New York to help pal Jackson Browne sing “Stay,” “Running On Empty” and “Sweet Little SixteenIt was great, report the multitudes who were witlessly there. Speaking of JB, anybody who can tell us what the words to “Lawyers In Love” mean can have his or her poodle trimmed for one week, free! “Empty” isn’t the word...

Jerry Lee Lewis recently starred in yet another “anniversary” TV special to be aired sometime this fall. The good news is that some of the Killer’s guests include Keith Richards, Mick Fleetwood and Little Richard, all of whom will reportedly join Jerry Lee in a superstar jam session. Sounds “promising”...On a sadder note, Lewis’ fifth wife, Shawn Michelle Stephens—who he

only married in the last several months—was found dead in the couple’s home in late August. She reportedly died from an excess of fluid in the lungs. Lewis, who has blamed rock ’n’ roll for his many tragedies, had gone into seclusion.

Ola Pepe! International (except here, thank God) recording star Julio Iglesias, whose lovely Julio album cover was honored with the Patricia Neal-letteropener-through-the-eyeballs treatment here at CREEM World Headquarters, has recorded separate tracks with yanquis Willie Nelson, Diana Ross, and the Beach Boys for his next “effort.” Willie liked the Latin Lubber so much, he invited Julio to sing with him at the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville. Yahoo.

Thousands are mourning the demise of Rip Rig & Panic— but, unfortunately, nobody over here is, basically because those dopes only released albums in England. Who cares?

PiL have emerged from the veritable doldrums they’ve sunk into with an upcoming Hve-inJapan album “guaranteed” to knock the socks off at least one of the band’s fans in Iowa. LP is set for September release, and no U.S. release date is known. Yukyuk.

Joan Jett And The Biackhearts recently visited the CREEM offices while in Detroit. Seems the zany trickstress was in town to open for the Police, shortly before coming back for two of her own shows as a headliner. Which is all well and good, but did you know the real reason she came was to snip off Rick Johnson’s ponytail and paste it to a to-be-sat-upon snowcone? We’re only asking...

Those new CD Compact Discs make dandy frisbees!

We here at CREEM heartily apologize to Iron Maiden, whose pictures we ran to accompany last month’s feature were dreadfully old. About “two bands back,” some say. Seems like we did the same thing with our last feature on the gang as well. We swear we didn’t do it on purpose, and can only promise that next month we’ll do the same thing to Def Leppard! Honest!

Guaranteed to bring a “smile”: REO Speedwagon’s dauntless Kevin Cronin tells all in a fantastic press release. We quote: “While on a deep sea fishing expedition, puzzling over the ability of naval destroyer crews to stay at sea for six months without women, ‘I suppose if they catch a fish they really like, they can always mount it,’ he remarked.” What the press release failed to mention, of course, was that the entire crew, Cronin, all the people he’s ever loved and the person who wrote the press release were then brutally eaten by piranhas with razor-sharp teeth who didn’t feel the remark to be the least bit funny. “We would have done it if they hadn’t,” confided Bill and Bob Barracuda...

Photog Lynn Goldsmith is having some success with her...unlikely Will Powers album. It sounds like success, anyway. Although the,..very different Dancing For Mental Health may have sold all of 39 copies worldwide the Nebraska Dept, of Labor used the video as part of their summer youth employment program, no doubt as a DON’T example. And over in England, the same video is reportedly being used by doctors as part of a “musical therapy” scheme for autistic children. Sounds like you’ve found your audience, Will!

What’s the next best thing to '‘meeting” Prince? Buying his old clothes! The studded trenchcoat his undies-ness wore onstage during the 1999 tour brought $450 at a charity auction in Raleigh, NC. “The incredible emotion” of certain female bidders amazed even jaded auctioneer Elizabeth Stagg, who was saddened by one young vassal who brought her entire life savings (250 bucks to you) but left without so much as a busted string bikini string.

The P’ince himself, meanwhile, is working on a “new music track” for laff-man Eddie Murphy’s next LP, due “now.”

Motown bassist dames Jamerson—the guy who essentially gave the label its legendary sound-died August 2nd. With a minimum of fanfare, we might add. He was not a very rich man.

US Fest ’84 is already in the works, so you better start your babyfood smuggling preparations today. Boss Woz has decided to cut back the “festivities” to three days of 150,000 suckers apiece. Line forms in Reno.

Iggy Pop should have a “rarities” collection-—including lost gems like “Scene Of The Crime” and “I’m Sick Of You”— out by the time you read this, thus negating the purpose of this item!

Keebler elf Dave Edmund’s older brother, Geoff Edmonds, has joined his baby bro’ in the music biz. Geoff’s debut LP was recently released on Rocshire, which is distributed by MCA.

And if that isn’t enough to get you excited, the same label has also released a single by Butch Patrick who played Eddie Munster on the old The Munsters TV show. The name : of his group is Eddie & the Monsters, and the name of the track is “Whatever Happened To Eddie?” Trying to capitalize on past glories? Butch “wouldn’t think” of it!

In CREEM’s recent New Rock Close-Up, it was mentioned that Medium Medium may not exist anymore. The band recently wrote to us informing that they do, indeed, still exist with a new line-up, and they’re currently in the studio in New York with Duke Bootee producing...

First George Jones, and now Tony Bennett. Elvis Costello recently joined Tony Bennett and the Count Basie Orchestra at the Red Parrot nightclub in Manhattan for a forthcoming NBC pilot called Swing It Again. Our hero joined the man who left his heart in San Francisco for a duet of “It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing.” The show should air around the time you read this.

Sorry to report that Enn Boy Three have broken up right at the peak of their career.

CBS has reportedly offered the Roiling Stones $28 MILLION for their next four LPs, the highest offer in recording history. The Stones “reportedly” snapped it up. Hey, what’d’ya say us working stiffs get together, tear up all our money, and flush it down a big toilet!