KISS & TELL

KISS & TELL

DEPARTMENTS

Jaan Uhelszki

She’s Too Fat For Me! Have you noticed how Stevie Nicks has filled out—right out of her frothy size fives. In fact, Stevie is so well fed that the original video of “Stand Back” had to be scrapped because she showed too much skin—and she had all of her clothes on!...On the other hand, or should I say thigh, is Joan Jett who must have been counting the calories in her fettucini, because she is slipping her slinky frame into a size “uno” Norma Kamali leather jumpsuit. Maybe that’s why Loverboy’s Mike Reno has been hot (if you’ll excuse my expression) in pursuit. Mike’s band, those riveting Canucks, are sponsored by Sassoon (as in oo-la-la) — maybe Joan can introduce them to Norma and upgrade their image...There’s a new movie coming out called du-Beat-io that won’t do much for Ms. Jett’s image. It is actually a salvage job of an unfinished flick made in 1979, titled We’re All Crazy Now, which was to star Joan’s former alumni the Runaways. The trouble was, from the conception to the actual filming of Crazy the Runaways broke up. Undaunted by this setback, the ever-inventive producer hired three sufficiently sleazy girls to play along with Joan as the Runaways. This dubious footage, along with a new story line, and Ray “Idol Maker” Sharkey has become du-Beat-io. Kenny and Meryl Laguna, Joan’s hard-hitting management, tried to buy a younger, chunkier Jett out of the project, but no dice, and dBi will live...The Bangles replaced bassist Annette Zilinskas with LA local Michael Steel—that you know, but do you remember that Michael was a member of the original Runaway power trio, which featured Micki, Sandy and Joan? And no, Michael was not in the movie. The Bangles’ next album is set to roll with David Kahne of Red Rockers and Romeo Void fame...Lifestyle Addict Iggy Pop is in Los Angeles laying tracks for his latest album, which David Bowie will produfce. EMI Records, David’s label, confided that they’d entertain signing the Ig depending on what kind of involvement David would have in the recording process. Huh? Translated, it means: if David plays they’ll pay...The Best Part of Breaking Up: Kajagoogoo, that cosmetic quintet from England, hasn’t been able to “Hang On Now.” Limahl, the lead singer (you remember Limahl, the guy who dubbed himself after an anagram of his last name) broke rank and is pursuing a solo career in the fine tradition of Nick Heyward.

Nick Beggs is once again guiding the “Goos” through the unsettled waters. What do you mean the world is a better place?...Another EMI casualty this month was Marillion. Their drummer, Andy Ward—howyou-say—freaked out on stage, a la Vince Crane and attacked tMarillion’s soundman, before stalking off stage. Yes, he did hand in his resignation, and ho they will not continue the tour... More new musician “casualties” this month are: Fun Boy Three, and XTC...Two’s Company: I know you’re all dying to know whether those weirdniks the Eurythmics ate a couple (couple of what...). The answer is no. Sure, I know they live together in a renovated North London church, but believe me, they have separate bedrooms. Well, then believe Dave A. Stewart. “Our relationship was too consuming, too frightening to continue (I believe, I believe, I saw the “Sweet Dreams” video). Sometimes we’d be together and one of us would have to leave the room (to go to the bathroom?). We’d each know what the other was thinking.

We’d have to fight really hard to retain our individuality. It was terrifying. When we decided to form Eurythmics we accepted that we couldn’t continue our relationship as well. It was either us or the Eurythmics, and the Eurythmics was too important to ignore.” Sounds a little Fleetwood Mac, no? Oh, so that’s why the hauntingly lovely Ms. Lennox has been spotted about town with Glenn Tilbrook, late of Squeeze... Chain, Chain, Chains: Bono, lead vocalist for U2 had quite a shock when the group played Worcester, Mass. We’re not talking beans—an over-zealous young lady rushed the stage and hundcuffed herself to the Mick’s right ankle. Undaunted, Bono sat down and continued to sing, while waiting for a roadie to release him from the cuffs...Three’s A Crowd: Look for an upcoming project by Peter Gabriel, Nile Rodgers and Laurie Anderson. A celebrity cook-off?.. .Lawyers In Love:

Nick Lowe and Carlene Carter are untying the knot-«rflB now Carlene will

off into the surijlBgZnHKBHwMI “partner,” Janes Eller. Jackson Browne is also calling it quits with his Mrs. He’s not riding into'arty sunset, instead he’s making videos with his new 1 lady lo$&hf0sim0mmWr L.I.L ...Marl Wilson left her 11 man hand behind, but brought her hairdresser whefi she visited the U S. to plug her Show People LP. Mari says, sfte used to do her own do, but when the band plays 240 dates a yeHf a a necessity to groom her spectacular 8-inch beehive. And that’s not all—Wilson also insures her hair. What do you suppose she’s afraid of, bees?...That Canadian cutie, Clare Stansfield finally got her man. Simon Le Bon of Duran X2

popped the question and gave Clare a little bon bon of her own in diamonds and platinum...Le Bon buddy, Nick Rhodes has his mind on other things and is putting out a book Of his photographs titled Interference, which is available in the U.K....While we are on the beat, Robert Palmer is set to produce the Flock Of Seagulls’ next dropping at his Nassau studio. Where is Kiss when we need them? I know one person (only one?) who will be glad that Journey will be taking an extended one year vacation. Steve Perry, that’s who. Perry, who has a fear of flying, would shuttle from gig to gig in a fully equipped RV, complete with driver, girlfriend Sherry, and their cat. And you thought that guy parked next to you at the State Park only looked like Steve Perry...Robert Plant may have a record on the charts, but that don’t buy you friends. Rd|i|rt.was unobtrusively sipping brew at a recent Del Sbannou^f^gWi when an unidentified' assailant armed with an ice butekiWiiliilMlthe Plant’s pal, Jimmy 'Page has hactsome problems of his. qpinv .$h£|y||ie law raided his Windsor home-and found cocaine on the premises. Again,..The Culture Chib is planning a feature length f&n, a la A Hard Day's Night. And as if George has written a book. No, 1^ not make-up tip's, but a “tell all,* a la ifjddTkgain) Britt Eklund out the best news for jlast: you know the CC has really arrived when there’s a cover version of “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me” in Japanese! Akira Mitake of Ippu-Do has recorded it for Epic/Song International. Ask for it at your local sushi bar...As for me, “I Brake For Atomic Dogs.”