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MICROPHONES DON'T GET NO RESPECT!

Whether your vantage point is onstage or in the audience (and not on a guest-list pass, either), its invariably the same dreary dance. Thousands of crazed fans frothing before the opening bell, the stage all aglitter in lights and equipment...and equipment...and more equipment.

September 1, 1983
Chip Stern

MICROPHONES DON'T GET NO RESPECT!

EXTENSION CHORDS

Chip Stern

by

Whether your vantage point is onstage or in the audience (and not on a guest-list pass, either), its invariably the same dreary dance. Thousands of crazed fans frothing before the opening bell, the stage all aglitter in lights and equipment...and equipment...and more equipment.

There are the obligatory stacks of amplifiers; high risers groaning under the girth of mega-drum kits and a dozen cymbals; scores of flash guitars and basses waiting obligingly before each 200 watt monolith.. .a blonde on each arm, a boutonniere in your buttonhole and a pound of tracer in the tool box.

But wait! Theres been a, uh...we//, a miscalculation of sorts. Seems that no one bothered to invest the time or money in selecting the proper performance microphones. Yeah, well, we use whatever house mics the local sound contractor or promoter provides," a little voice is heard to whimper by way of a cop-out, pausing only to snarf up a second helping of Dr. Rise Times high impedance powdered protoplasm.

Good thinking, schmuck.

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