KISS & TELL

KISS & TELL

Jaan Uhelszki

by

How Low Can You Go?

Rodney Bingenheimer, that serious and enduring scenemaker, received an engraved invitation to no-longer-baby Brooke Shields 18th birthday bash. So naturally Rodney booked an LT-11, handed the reins of his KROQ radio show over to the Bangles, and flew the friendly skies to the Apple to join the revelry. Thrifty as he is hip, Bingenheimer decided to save a couple of bucks and bunk over at Chris and Debbies (yes, that Chris and Debbie). To repay their generous hospitality, Rodney called to RSVP and asked whether he could maybe bring the couple by for some cake and some ice cream—the least they could do is sing Happy Birthday a la Blondie. Brookes secretary was polite but firm. Maybe she saw Videodrome. I guess Blondies manager, Shep Gordon, saw Videodrome too, because the same week he dropped the band from his roster.. .Clem Burke and Nigel Harrison must have seen it coming because they both joined ex-Sex Pistol Steve Jones, ex-Utopian Tony Sales and former Detective Michael Des Banes in Chequered Past, just recently signed to EMI...The Go-Gos are still out on the loose looking for a new producer. They cant decide on anyone just yet, but they all agree that it wont be Richard Gottehrer...No, its not true that Mattel is bringing out a Joan Jett doll with detachable guitar strap this fall, but yes it is true that Joanie presented the Chemical Bank in Long Beach, New York with a platinum record of I Love Rock And Roll." New accounts has never been the same...Heavy Metal mobsters Triumph has hired horror czar and rock enthusiast Stephen King to write the liner notes on their latest album. Then, Stephen turned around and hired that boulder among rock writers, and former editor of CREEM, Dave Marsh to serve as music coordinator for his latest fright flick Christine...Calling all Cars: Former Clash drummer Topper Headon was fined $150 for swiping a London bus stop sign... Marianne Faithfull tried to tell us about the company she was keeping when she released last years Dangerous Acquaintance, and Kiss & Tell finally believed her when we heard Faithfulls newly ex-husband Ben Brierly was nabbed along with Nik Cohn (seminal rock critic, and author of Saturday Night Fever— the magazine article and the movie) in a jet-set coke raid in New York City catering to rock clientele. One arresting officer was overheard saying that the traffic outside Cohns 76th St. apartment was backed-up with double-parked limos. And all this time we thought it was the Chinese take-out joint on the corner...Dont invite those shamrock rockers, U2, to your beer blast next Sunday because Bono Vox, Larry Mullen and Dave The Edge" Evans are born-agains, and they dont even gig on the Sabbath. I mean, these guys mean business. Their girlfriends even sack-out in separate quarters (READ: no connecting door) when they join them on the road. How should I know what Adam Clayton does while all this isnt going on?

Maybe he hangs with David Lee Roth. On the other hand, Stevie Winwood spends his Sundays playing organ at the All Saints Church in Turk Dean, England. No, hes not all that devout, he just needs someplace to practice for his upcoming U.S. tour... Falafel Rock: Sheika Dena el Fassi is taking her booty from the $82 million divorce settlement from the Sheik el Fassi, and starting her own record label with Billy Preston as her first release— which proves somethin from somethin is still nothin."... Police State: The Copeland boys have named their new film company CCCP in the ingenious tradition of the Police, IRS Records, FBI Booking and LAPD Management—they claim it stands for Copeland, Copeland, Copeland and Powers, but our mole informs us that CCCP is what the Russkies call their beloved mother Russia... Abandoned Luncheonette: Chris Butler, songwriting force behind the Waitresses has left the band—apparently looking for a better table. So whats on the menu now, you ask? It could be all over for the Waitresses, especially since Holly Beth Vincent has pulled a couple of her infamous no-shows...Le Bowie is the man to know lately—at least Bianca dagger : thinks so—she was spotted buzzing around the Bowie: hive at the US Festival. Tina Turner has let it be known that shes not interested m, the honey, but m having David produce her next album. Sorry sisters, right now the T.W.D. is committed to producing a short starring his pal Isay Pop, ahd Bowies Hunger, co-star Susan Sarandon Beb«s»Bnelt. that scrapbook chanteuse, put out a record on LA based Rhino Records last year—so can you tell me, and Harold Bronson, why she should still b6 W1(§|''B)# |mL'C: long distance calls to trie .. perissodactyl record company?

Kiss & Tell also picked up on the jungle drums that Prince has rung up Bebe quite a few times, (and we know he doesnt charge them to Rhino) suggesting that he produce her next album. His Royal Highness of Minneapolis offered to fly her up to discuss the plans, but tactfully suggested that Ms. Buell leave the B-Sides 1 at home, because he wants to play all the instruments himself... Valerie Van Halen meet Valerie Van Halen. Not to be outdone by his brother Eddie and his bride, Valerie Bertinelli Van Halen, Alex has taken his own Valerie (Kendall) as his wife. No, dont bother to throw rice, just brown M&Ms.. .Terri Nunn had none—panties, that is. Just ask any of those enthusiastic onlookers perched backstage at the US Festival during Sex (Im A...)," where the fetching songstress horizontally crooned her hit. What do you mean, is she really blonde?...Maybe James Watt knew something. In May, 1969—three months before the Sharon Tate horror, Charles Manson requested jSespjssion from his parole officer to travel to Texas with the {leaieli Boys ...Don't Call Me Deva Dip: fmsure you all will be relieved that Carlos Santana has ended bis longtime infatuation Chinmoy and all things karmic. We knew he was back when Carlos was actually spotted consuming the sacred cow in the form of a burger at his recording session at the Automatt m San Francisco. But tf youjP^pmp the lahmlyiMraifelb^^^kacles—our guy isnt ready to party hearty yet, he's just Switched stations. Hes hdw-you-say back to the fold, and decided to Try God. In fact, there are mumblings that Santana fired three members of his band because he dreamt that God told him to. If you dont believe me, just ask Alex Ligertwood, Dave Margen and Richard Baker what was written on their pink slips.