KISS & TELL

KISS & TELL

Jaan Uhelszki

by

Has Film Fox died? No, just put to bed without supper for the rest of her. life. Replacing CREEM’s increasingly moldier Fox will be the newer, hipper, slightly revamped and modified Kiss & Tell column, brought to you by former CREEM Features Editor Jaan Uhelszki and guaranteed to put gossip where it rightfully belongs—in boldface type! Ms. Uhelszki will present the seamy side of rock’s underbelly every month until she is requested not to. Any questions? The Editors

I’ve Grown Accustomed To Your Face: Bill Graham, rock’s most.. .uh.. .recognizable impresario turned down an offer from American Express to star in a TV commercial for their “Do . You Know Me?” campaign (a la Frank Jacuzzi, William Schwinn and Robert Ludlum). Guess the folks at the Express missed the familiar Bill’s memorable “walk-on” in. A Star Is Born, and didn’t realize he didn’t need the free publicity...Speaking of recognition, wasn’t that the International Louer of Minneapolis and beyond, the passionate Prince Nelson navigating a rented blue Camaro down Sunset Blvd? Oh, I get it, it was a • 0 disguise! Did you know the ever elusive Prince bunked over at Carm|ne Appice’s house during his 1981 swing through Southern California? What do you mean, did he have his own room?...Blondie Goes To Broadway: Our favorite peroxide pal, Debbie Harry, has had her share of trouble. I mean, Harry was still reeling from the rotten reviews she received from Videodrome—and then to have her Broadway play, Teaneck Tanzi: The Venus Fly Trap, open and close on the very same day is' too much for any girl to bear.

What’s worse is Deb is stuck with ' all that extra...how-you. say ...baggage she had to put on for the role. Say 15 pounds, give or take a couple of Big Macs...Three’s Company? If you ask me, Mr. and Mrs. Nick Lowe have some very odd sleeping arrangements. Well, they do check into the same suite of rooms, but what’s With the three orders of eggs benedict, three coffees and one bottle of ketchup...Just asking...They say there’s no truth to the rumor that ABC has broken up—but if you happen to run into Martin Fry on the set of Man Trap, why don’t yoy ask again...Sibling Rivalry: It seems everything is quiet in the Ramonas family— too quiet. Joey Ramona and Johnny Ramona are barely speaking to each other. You know, maybe a few terse words like “turn down your guitar, asshole,” but that’s the extent of it. Joey’s longtime girlfriend had a torrid fandango with Johnny, and the wounded singer has refused to have anything to do with his “bro.” (But a lot to do with Holly Beth Vincent, late of Holly and the Italians).. .Adam Ant may have recuperated sufficiently from the microsurgery he had on his knee, injured in Cleveland, but has he recovered from his first big spat with his girlfriend Vanity (yes, that Vanity)? I understand she left the cap off his Revlon Ultraliner, and Adam locked himself in the bathroom. As of presstime, Vanity was still trying to coax him out.. .The Animals are not only reuniting for a recording comeback, but they’re slated to do a movie on the career ups and downs of the group...

JOB QUALIFICATIONS: 20 years of watching all-night movies on TV, while touring with the Grateful Dead. Jerry Garcia head-Dead, has begun work on the movie version of Kurt Vonnegut’s sci-fi novel, The Sirens Of Titan. Garcia bought

the screen rights to the novel in the mid-’70s, but was unable to do anything with them before this. Seems he’s had a steady job...Jer’s version of the plot for his flick is this: “Basically, a Space Traveller gets caught in the chronosynclastic infindibulum, goes to Mars to be bred like a rat, and winds up living on Titan, one of the moons of Jupiter.” Kinda like the ultimate trip, huh Jerry?....What are the rest of the Dead doing during this touring/recording recess? Mickey Hart and Mary Halloway (DJ for KTIM) just had a baby, whom they called Taro (which means firstborn in Japanese; he was conceived after a heavy night of sushi and saki). Well, that’s one way to get your record on the radio...White Wedding? Pearl Harbor of Pearl Harbor and the Explosions dropped the. bomb on former flame Kosmo Vinyl when she and his Clashmate Pant Simonon tied the knot...Robert Plant gave his long-time manager Peter Grant the boot, and Robert is putting them on himself and taking his band on the road for an American tour this August, under the wings of Tony StrattonSmith, manager of Plant’s pal, Phil Collins...MTV VJ Nina J Blackwood has do^a pilot for Merv Griffin’s company, for a

network rr all know. be a look at th P1ayboy~, Bunch:/ Wowc then M|M||Not Was) gave . that ^forgettable ana ‘Bow Wow Wow Wow/* and now from the shofes of Sony-land, we bring you ihe top Japanese rock band Bow Wow. debulins not only their first Japan, but

sung in English! But...can they sit up and beg?.. .Double-dating: Stray Cat Brian Setzer and Bebe Buell, and Stray Cat

Slim Jim and Britt Eldund...Glamour Makeover Part Two: Maybe that other girl’s group from L.A., the Bangles, should take a tip from Ginger Canconzonerl, the Go-Go’s manager. Ginger gave her girls $10 for ever pound they shed. Maybe Chris Stein should try that with Debbie Harry. This could be a real trend...You remember Ben Edmonds, don’t you? He used to be the editor of this very rag. Well, Ben’s gone up in the world (or down, depending on who you talk to), and now manages the Doors. The other day, Edmonds and longtime Doors producer Pant Rothchild—after many months of exhaustive searching,— unearthed a box in a Bekins warehouse in Hollywood, containing live, never-released tapes from the Doors’ concerts, circa 1968-1970. We understand that among the gems is the Doors’ classic version of Van Morrison’s “Gloria.” Look for the live LP to be out this autumn, 13 years after the Doors’ demise...Duran Duran’s prettiest boy, Simon LeBon, has apparently popped the question to his Canadian

..,. Speaking of Duran ||lmMBL%here Something I Should Know About Kajagoogoo? I tried to reach their producer; Nick Rhodes and ask him, but pp so &But, I understand. “Goo-Gao’s|gjj|* management doesn’t want them BwhbHTreputation as a “fagband.” and hires alluring young beauties (female) to be seen with the guys What do you mean, why should they worry? Why indeed That's something Culture Club’s management needn't worry about. Boy Georg* and his boy, Club’s drummer Jon Moss, have no ^qualms about being seen as a deux. As for me, I vant to be alone, but remember, watch what you say and do...Kiss & Tell is everywhere!

photos by; ifrom left to right)