VIDIOT NEWS

VIDIOT NEWS

PETTY PUKES

ST. LOUIS—If you don't see much more of Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers on MTV, there's a reason.

"I hate videos," Petty said. "If I see one more, I'll puke.

"You can't tell who people are," the blond guitarist added. "Is this guy the bass player? An actor? A shortorder cook? It's boring."

Petty, who's made videos of his own music, is giving up the medium. "Making them was the most boring thing," he said.

As an alternative, Petty and company will film a documentary about their career thus far. Cameron Crowe (Fast Times At Ridgemont High) will direct. "I'LL HAVE AN APPLE PIZZA-HOLD THE OLIVES"

DALLAS—If you still think it's a big deal when the local Shakey's has a banjo player stroll through the salad bar corner, you're showing your age. In a dramatic move meant to add another dimension to their arcade rooms, ShowBiz Pizza Place has installed two Apple II computers in each of their 125 locations.

The computers are "the first to be brought in system-wide in the restaurant industry," said Tim Searson, a ShowBiz spokesman. "And they'll be made available for use by area

schools during our off-hours."

ShowBiz hopes to blend recreation with education in the unique experiment. The terminals will offer 10 game programs, and the Apples will stress learning skills instead of motor skills.

"Visit From Space,"

"Minus Mission," "Find Your Number," "TicTacToc," "Bumble Dots," "Butterfly Hunt," and "Find The Bumble" all encourage math and number recognition. Others use spelling and economics as game frameworks. Each computer "exercise" can be finished on one token within five minutes.

Harry Radford, ShowBiz director of operations, points out another benefit from the ShowBiz-Apple alliance. "Along with the enjoyment of playing will come a better understanding of computers," he said. "We think this will help young and old alike to overcome any reservations they've had in interfacing with computers."

Searson admitted that the addition should also help ShowBiz increase traffic—of patrons who want to interface with a cheese and peperoni deep crust pie.

MTV COMPETITION?

NEW YORK—Night Flight —the USA Network's successful weekend program of old movies, contemporary rock performances and taped interviews—has sired a spin-off that may compete with MTV.

Radio 1 990 is set to debut in mid-March on the national cable system. The 30-minute series will air at 7 p.m. EST, Monday through Friday.

"It won't be just promo clips," USA's Marylou Brown told VIDIOT. "The show will have rock videos—say, the Top 20—but we'll have nightly updates on running stories, concert highlights, and news."

The format for Radio 1990 will combine elements of MTV and Entertainment Tonight, but no host had been selected at press-time.

NO MORE FREE INSULTS

LOS ANGELES—Can you handle. ..abuse?

If not, don't buy Abuse, the new computer program that promises exactly what it says. You'll find your Atari or Apple comp firing nasty cracks at you, your ancestors and anything else nearby.

Ridiculous, trivial questions are another highlight of the program. Then, when the machi ne has had its way with you, it shuts you out completely and runs your deck all by itself, repeating progressively more vicious slurs all the while.

So, if you can't deal with abuse, Abuse or even snide remarks about your blood type, don't call up Don't Ask Inc. (213-397-8811).

Better yet, don't even read this item.

MONSTERS GETTING WORSE1

PITTSBURGH — Patty Martin and Mae Norris have had it with losing their kids to vid squids. So the two young mothers took their idea to the city.

The pair are on a campaign to prohibit Pittsburgh arcades from allowing school-age children to play video games during school hours.

"These monsters skip

school, and the problem's getting worse all the time," one calm supporter shrieked. "The more games they bring out, the more children will play them," the petitionwielding Norris added.

Local school district superintendent Bill Green shrugged off the connection. ''It's a nationwide problem," he said.

District Justice Dennis Schatzman went along with the women, though. "These ladies are doing what has to be done," the judge commented. "(Video games) are popping up like wildfire around here."

WHO ARE THESE GUYS?

Here you see Paul Simonon of the Clash disguised as Vic Morrow and Pearl E. Gates (ex-Explosion) doing her famous Rastafarian missionary impression. Pretty convincing—at least, we think so I But why are they visiting a video arcade incognito? Because their scores are so bad, they don't want to be recognized I Too bad this also applies to their music!

ELEPHANTS, DURAN DURAN LINKED!

NEW YORK— Just when you thought it was safe to leave M7V at home alone,

Sony is bringing out a line of video "singles."

Time rider fil maker, recording artist, video pioneer and,yes, SAY IT, ex-Monkee Michael Nesmith will have two numbers from his Grammy Award-winning Elephant Parts re-released: "Cruisin' " and "Rio." Scottish singersongwriter Jesse Rae—signed by Sony before any record label showed interest (CBS eventually inked him)—will be represented by "Rusha" and "D.E.S.I.R.E."

Sony's video singles will offer two to four tunes, up to 1 5 minutes in length. The mini-videos will retail for $19.00 (VHS) and $16.00 (Beta).

A hot item on Sony's first batch is an uncut version of Duran Duran's "Girls On Film," the controversial featurette banned on American cable, combined with their current hit "Hungry Like The Wolf."

Other artists being mentioned as summer eyeball chow are Rod Stewart and Elton John.

LATE NIGHT ROCK: RETURN OF THE UNDEAD

LOS ANGELES—

I elevision's witching hour has always been a haunted house for the horrid. Wolfman Jack prowled the airwaves in Midnight Special; the zomboid Don Kirshner stalked through the shadows of Rock Concert. Only Dick Clark dares keep his Dorian Gray youth going for the afternoon American Bandstand.

Rising like a dbx vampire with a good agent, a new program—Rock 'N' Roll Tomte—will showcase "major artists" in a live setting taped at an L.A. location. The stars will also welcome guests with whom they will perform "personal favorites the public has never heard," according to a series spokeswoman.

Rock 'N‘ Roll Tomte will follow SNL in most major markets and will be simulcast with local cooperating stereo FM radio stations.

The mad scientists who conjured up this newest creation are no strangers to the media of video or rock 'n' roll. Blondie and Alice Cooper manager Shep Gordon drew up the plans, and his fellow executive producer is Bob Ernmer, the veteran responsible for Blondie's popular video cassette Eat To The Beat. Ernmer has also caused panic with his video work for Journey, Dwight Twilley and Fog hat.

The other new-alien behind the scenes is Neal Marshall, who supervised the 1981 pay-TV presentation of the Rolling Stones.

The series has not yet announced a host, although Stephen King is available. Regardless of viewer preparation, late-night rock has escaped the confines of MTV and is alive and on the loose once more.

At least until the ratings threaten to drive a stake through its heart.

PAY TO PLAY? NOWAY! CHAMPAIGN, IL—Remember all those dreams you had about getting paid to play videogames?

Some dreams come true. Student volunteers at the University of Illinois are getting between 50 and 80 dollars to learn how to play a modified version of Star Castle. Researchers at the University's Cognitive Psychophysiology Laboratory (and you though ColecoVision was hard to pronounce) are measuring the students' responses and reflexes in order to learn how the mind deals with complex tasks.

The researchers have also spawned the latest in video game chic. They hook the players up to a computer, by way of wires running from the player's head to an EEG machine. They then record the player's brainwaves, if any.

The spaghetti-heads play for 12 hours (after which their brainwaves are probably as straight as laser fire) and get cash bonuses for good scores.

Guess who's coming up with the cash for this project? The organization that nothing can stop, not even a jammed joystick: the U.S. Air Force.

WE HAVE COME FOR YOUR EXECUTIVES

NEW YORK—Atari's boardrooms are aquiver with a new executive tactic. Taking a lesson from the HearstPulitzer newspaper circulation wars of the early 1 900s, the video game giant is raiding its competitors to staff its own front offices.

The latest acquisition is Marcian Hoff, Jr., inventor of the micro-processor—the fingernail-size silicon chip that enables most electronic devices to be quick, effective and cost-efficient. Hoff was a prominent researcher at Intel Corp.

Hoff will team up with former Xerox wizard Alan Kay, who joined the Atari team in 1981, in research and development.

In late 1982, Atari lured two top men at Polaroid, management chief Peter C. Wensberg and marketing head Ted Voss, into the fold.

POD FEAR SWEEPS AIRWAVES !

In the future, outer space aliens will disguise themselves as Dance Fever contestants. They will land their futuristic spaceships near one of the three remaining discos in America. There, they will desaucer and blend in with the dancers. No one will suspect. This process has already begun...

JURY STILL WAYOUT

STOCKTON, CALIFORNIA — Tedium loves company, but comfy private arcades love cozy quarters. San Joaquin County officials have begun testing coin-operated video games like Pac-Man and Galaxian in juror rooms. And the courthouse may never be the same.

The machines won't be used for sequestered juries

contemplating a trial, however, instead being limited to prospective jurors awaiting their assignments.

The county hopes to realize enough revenue from the venture to re-fumish the room and produce a short slide show about jury duty.

The 90-day test will run through Memorial Day, when county officials could take a

field trip to the Indy 500.

HOTLINE FOR SOAP OPERAS

CHICAGO—For Midwest fans of daytime dramas, a new service could bring relief for nagging questions about missed episodes.

T.V. Soaps, which made its debut in mid-February, brings answers to bewildered soap dopes. A telephone information service providing daily updates of twelve top soap operas, the free service is obtained by simply dialing S-O-A-P-S-S-S (762-7777) in Chicago. After an operator is told which program the caller would like to be briefed on (and following a 10-second commercial) a taped one-minute summary takes over.

Mark Guncheon created the service after hearing of a similar subscription service in California.

"People subscribed for three months at a time and had to wait until the next day to hear the summary,” Guncheon told VIDIOT. T.V. Soaps will record fresh updates within 30 minutes of air-time.

Will anyone phone in?

"We expect five or six thousand calls a day," Guncheon replied. "After all, Nielsen says that 400,000 viewers watch soaps in Chicago alone.

"It's surprising the number of people who take a lunch to see All My Children or buy a VCR just to record The Edge Of Night," he added. "I'm optimistic. I know it's going to work."

CHIPS OVER TOKYO

WASHINGTON—Just when The Winds Of War blew over, some American industrialists started to rattle their economic sabers as if Pearl Harbor, the Maine and the Alamo fell last week.

First it was the automibile industry, hungry from a dwindling domestic market more attuned to mileage and cost than chrome and luxury. Then it was major manufacturing industries like steel finding themselves limping badly after losing the competitive edge fo foreign suppliers. Now, the computer business is up in arms about rising competition from abroad.

The five leading semiconductor firms in the U.S. losN$86 million in sales to Japanese companies last year, according to a report issued last month. And that figure reflects only two types of microchips.

Since labor costs are basically identical, industry experts blame Japan's "headstart” from its "more cooperative” government.

Japan's government restricts imports of hightechnology products, grants, loans and tax breaks to their computer firms, and sometimes underwrites market expansion schemes.

Commerce Secretary Malcolm Baldridge met with U.S. computer representatvies to plan an economic strategy to salvage the bruised industry.

A Commerce Department spokeswoman refused to confirm that the U.S. is considering tariffs on Japanese chips and stepping up trade in U.S. high-tech products like Silicon Valley software, adult cable programs and Mr Moto movies.

THE FAME NAME GAME

LAS VEGAS—If New York is the city that never sleeps, the winter Consumer Electronics Show here showed that Las Vegas is the city that never stops. Amid manufacturers' booths, presentations and new product line showcases, one almost expected Jim McKay's Wide World of Video Sports or Brent Musberger's 16-wheel media wagon to

relay the game news to videogame fans across the Great Wasteland.

Although no real bombshells were dropped, one trend was obvious: "pre-sold" titles. A representative list of familiar titles to be released the next few months includes M*A*S*H and Paul McCartney's Give My Regards To Broad Street (20th Century Fox), Mickey Mouse Goes Exploring (Disney), Frankenstein (Data Age), Dracula (Mattel), Popeyeand the Incredible Hulk (both Parker Brothers), Snoopy (Atari), Keystone Kops Kapers and Three Little Pigs (both Activision).

Also increasing was the consideration of the under-12 market, with game carts like Plaque Attack, Kids' Library and Strawberry Shortcake pointing toward the younger target group.

"This isn't necessarily the way to go," explained one Atari spokeswoman at CES. "After all, E.T. didn'tdo nearly as well as everyone assumed it would. What consumers enjoy about a TV show or movie or character doesn't always translate into a good video game."

Oops. Does that mean we won't be seeing the game of R-rated Porky's or maybe an instructional cart called This Old House?

LIMP FINGERS DON’T APPLY

For proper warm up, we don't suggest Ben-Gay," advises Hank Heiser of Bally /Midway. Just firmly grasp the hand of the player next to you, and squeeze vigorously for 30 seconds." Yeah, but Hank, haven't you considered the possible danger in this? "Not if you have dry palms!" Hank chuckled. Tell that to Chuck E.