EYE/HANDS WHAT'S NEW IN VIDEO

JEDI ARENA Parker Bros.

(Atari)

Sorry, Star Wars freaks. Looks like you've got another less-than-thrilling videogame to play with.

Jedi Arena is an uncomplicated, straightforward match. It works best for two players but can be tackled man-vs.machine as well. It's designed for paddles instead of joysticks, which means finer handling and tired paws.

The screen shows the Arena as seen from above, not unlike Activision's Boxing. At the top and bottom of the playfield are the two Jedi Knights ("Big" Red and "Mr." Blue), each with their own protective force field and lightsaber. In the center ring hovers the Seeker, that Sputnik-like metal balloon you'll remember Luke taking saber practice against in the film.

The Seeker is always buzzing around like a grapefruit with smarts. Your mission (should you decide to accept it) is to fire a laser bolt through it at your opponent. The angle of the blast is determined by turning the paddle in the desired direction and smacking the fire button. You want to pick apart the other guy's force field a "brick" af a time, ala Breakout. When a shot makes it through a hole in the shield, you've won the match.

In later rounds, you'll encounter the Wild Seeker and the Invisible Seeker. Whaf is this, '50s B-movie week? No such luck. The Wild One buzzes around out of control, blasting both opponents. The invisible jobby is just what its name implies: invisible. Watch me as I snore.

Overall, this J-Man found the action somewhat lacking on the challenge and variety scales. Two-player games come off fairly well, if you've got an extra person sitting around. But, as often happens in player-vs.-computer bouts the computer lacks that killer instinct, making for rather putt-putt contests.

One after another, these pre-sold titles are turning out fo be duds, both commercially and fun-wise. Hate to say it, but it looks like it might just be time to go back to plain old imagination again, vidfans.

Steve Kenyon

TURBO

Coleco

(ColecoVision)

Turbo is yet another feather in Coleco's cap, a superb game that revises the home videogame concept with the much noted Expansion Module #7 and is great fun to boot.

I'm amazed the game works so well. Like Sega's great arcade game, Turbo puts you in the driving seat of a race car. The screen shows your car in the foreground and, throughout the never-ending road race, it's up to you to avoid oil slicks, oncoming cars, ambulances and some generally hairy turns. In the arcades it's been such a winner it inspired Pole Position; let's see Atari do as well bringing that arcade game to the homes.

First: the Expansion Module. The steering wheel is hip indeed—though the wheelplay is a little less precise than the arcader's maybe due to its smaller size. It's very easy to get used to. The suction cups on the wheel-unit's underside work fine; the wheel won't slip around as you play. And the idea of using your joystick as your gearshift is A-l.

The accelerator pedal is fine, and certainly functional, but I found from the first game on that it really wasn't that difficult fo drive well with the pedal floored. Only after some practice—and a few crashes on some of the trickier turns— is it apparent that the pedal and the gearshift are very much dependent on each other, and work together very nicely, just like on a real car. Cool.

One complaint: Batteries. You need them for the Expansion Module, though a Coleco adapter is available. You'll find that ouf after you've brought home the game. Oh well. I recommend the adapter.

The view: if you've played the arcade version you know, but if you haven't, you'll be astounded. The scenery is ace: it looks like you're driving in France (or Miami Beach, for that matter), and the colors— particularly the orange sunset —are phenomenal. Beautiful. The snow driving? Just like for real. Much like ColecoVision's super smash Zaxxon, River Raid puts you-the-player behind the cockpit of a jet. Your goal is to destroy as many helicopters, jets, bridges and tankers as possible before your fuel runs out—and pow, you're MIA faster than napalm dispersing in the morning. Unlike Zaxxon, you're dealing with only two dimensions— though all four points of the compass are available to you, there's no sign of that added dimension of altitude that makes Zaxxon so nifty. Fur-

Otherwise, no complaints whatsoever with this game. Only practical one might be that 60 bucks a shot is pretty steep, since you can only play one game. But that's for now.

JOURNEY ESCAPE BERMUDA TRIANGLE Data Age

(Atari VCS)

Data Age runs full circle with their two new carts. Hitech hijinx achieves a new high in reverting to children's game standards to underscore its good times.

Journey Escape, Steve Perry's haircut notwithstanding, is just a nice combination of "Tag” and "Hide 'n' Seek." There's no slap to the beak or a horde of kids peeking underneath a porch, of course. But hazards are plenty. Mini-skirtThere are plenty more driving games to be made and, as Turbo clearly shows, the folks at Coleco are no dummies. The Expansion Module concept alone shows they know where vidgames are going.

Me? I'm waiting for Expansion Module Number Ten.

Kevin Christopher

ed "love-crazed" girls chase the band members like someone's pants are demanding self-determination. This many groping groupies would give chopped liver chapped lips. Plus, rock photographers pop in and out, sleazy promoters lunge for your loot, and stage barriers dare you to take a giant step for band-kind.

On the screen's open maze, moving amongst all these menacing obstacles (who come in cuddly and chubby sizes), you goal is to make the group's escape vehicle (the gilded beetle from Journey's LP covers) in 60 seconds

without forfeiting your fee. The opponents take your time as well as your money, delaying your progress with various snapshots, stumbles or outright honks.

One by one, Journey "musicians" run the gauntlet. Drummer Steve Smith starts off with an easy crowd. Then Jonathan Cain, Ross Valory, Neal Schon and Steve.Perry try their response times to dodge the more-activeaudience's tags and hide from the seeking fans. Loyal, mindless minions of roadies and a generous manager offer occasional rescues, but—true to life— they're rarely there when you really need 'em.

Journey Escape tactics include going full-tilt all the time, playing the edges, grabbing every roadie within amptossing distance, and watching for the smiling manager and idling vehicle (both easy to miss). Another helpful hint is to turn off the sound. It's not essential to the game. And a non-stop version of "Don't Stop Believing" that sounds like a hungover Thelonious Monk thumping a two-dollar xylophone won't help your reactions.

First impressions of Bermuda Triangle are that it's a variation of the Space Jockey-Air/ Sea Battle-Laser Blast theme, with hot space rocks hurtling toward you. But it's just a kid's chocolate micro-chip rendition of "Hotbox" or "Tisketa-Tasket." Your sub is on a mission to gather artifacts from the floor of the ocean. However, various sharks, squids, lampreys and more human enemies clutter up your work area. The best way to play archealogist/sub commander is to lean on the fire button (to send a constant stream of bursts toward the right screen) and concentrate on maneuvering around the sea litter. Unidirectional firing requires frequent loop-theloops to perform squid ambushes and bushwacks on drones and clones, but the only challenge comes from the random blasts of the surface laser, which cuts a wide swath across the water.

Escape deserves most of its hoopla, but Bermuda Triangle should disappear into a black hole. Or is that trademark infringement?

Bill Knight

RIVER RAID

Activision

(Atari VCS)

As a diehard Zaxxon fan— not to mention someone who thought Apocalypse Now was a laugh a minute—I'm coming back to play River Raid more often than I thought I would.

thermore, you're looking straight down at your jet from above—which actually is less confusing than Zaxxon's unique "odd angled" perspective. River Raid's easier to handle faster.

It isn't merely a question of destruction here, though, as your goal isn't only to score points, it's to stay in flight long enough to be able to score points. Which means not running out of fuel. River Raid offers the option of puffing up or shutting up: either blow up a fuel depot for big points or, when necessary, fly over it and "tank up." The slower you pass, the more fuel you'll end up with. Learning just when to do this is what you'll have the most fun figuring out.

Carol Shaw, designer of River Raid, recommends "jotting down notes" in the game's instructions, this so players can keep track of the many bends, turns and narrow passageways in the river — advice which somehow seems a letdown: spontaneity, or the capability of even a first-time player doing well on a vidgame should never be overlooked.

In all, though, River Raid's got something even Zaxxon doesn't—the opportunity for the player to increase in skill at a consistent rate, which means there isn't a space monster waiting at 10,000 points or wherever that's impossible to knock off, you'll be breaking your own previous high score every few plays. And that's gratifying. Players fhat score the maximum one million points, we're told, will see all points on the screen replaced by exclamation points; players that score 999,999 just get to see Marlon Brando's stomach.

Kevin Christopher

BACHELOR PARTY BEAT'EM & EAT'EM Mystique

(Atari VCS)

Dirty videogames — just what the world's been waiting for.

You've probably already heard the big stink about Mystique's Custer's Revenge game by now. Women's rights groups were justifiably appalled by the sexual assault that's the object of the game. American Indians were understandably outraged by the fact that the victim of the assault was an Indian girl. Videogamers, meanwhile, were just plain insulted by the cart's total lack of fun.

All the protest led to C.R. being rightfully canned, but Mystique still has two more "Adult" carts to complain about. The alleged X-ratedness is no problem amongst us alleged grown-ups here in Eye/Hand. We be real sophisticated I

These games just plain stink! They're attractive graphically and emit interesting sound effects, no problem there. The actual play action is the problem.

Bachelor Party is nothing more than a particularly poor variation of Breakout that's been tipped-over sideways, so you can play it prone, no doubt. You, the joystickee, have a bachelor you want to bounce off two adorable rows of eligible female figures. As there are only eight bachelorettes to deal with, things get boring, fast.

The betfer-looking, if even worse playing, B.E.&E.E. is Kaboom for all practical purposes. This one's a tuffy to describe in an apple-pie-product such as VIDIOT. Let's just say, what you're pounding on is not Betty Crocker Fudge Nutty cake mix, and what's being consumed is not Gatorade. Apprehend all the falling objects and you'll hear a computer version of "Pop Goes The Weasel." Hilarious.

The way we see it, any videogame can be X-rated if you use your imagination a little. No need to name names, but that one with the lady amphibian...hey—is your mind in the gutter or what?!

Rick Johnson

SPIDERMAN Parker Bros.

(Atari VCS)

Commercials, commercials, commercials! Mein Gotti I'm getting sick and tired of all these videogame commercials on TV! “Stomp dem donkeys!" they say. "Squoosh dem chickens!'1 "It's hot, it's wild!'' "It's the ultimate in sleep technology!”

Oops, wrong commercial! Not that you'd know it after playing Parker Bros, new Spiderman cartridge, though. What sounded like the Tet Offensive of climbing games turns out to be about as exciting as being a head-treater at a creosote pole-treating plant.

Spiderman features a 13 story skyscraper topped by a high voltage tower resembling obese, humiliated tinsel. Various criminals—possibly on loan from Gangster Alley— appear randomly in windows, attempting to clip the hero's web. If he makes it to the top, he has to avoid his arch enemy, the dreaded Green Goblin, and defuse time bombs planted by the lime slime.

The main gimmick here is Spidey's web fluid. Shooting from the canister on his wrist, it attaches to the building so that the featured insect can climb it to reach his destination .

What's definitely irresistible and way more fun besides is to let that sucker dangle! He just swings back and forth like an idiot until a baddie reaches out and clips his web. Sneepsneep! Then the red and blue arachnid tumbles in delicious slow motion and hits the pavement with a satisfying blat.

The problem is slow action. We're talking slow here, like in big-dead-lizards-i nto-gaspedal chow. As a player whose difficulty switch is usually set on "none," I did surprisingly well—always a bad sign—even when the speed picked up in subsequent rounds. It really is more enjoyable to leave him hanging precariously from the tower or just plain nudge him in the direction of suicide.

As cart-crit Robert Cohen once said, there is no bottom to worse. That goes double here, but at least there's enough bottom for a convincing splatter!

Rick Johnson

MOUSE TRAP Coleco

(ColecoVision)

Good stuff. Mouse Trap is Coleco's home version of Exidy's arcade machine, and if it isn't close to 100 percent arcade quality, I don't know what is.

It's a fun game—as maze games go, sure, if approaches Pac-ness, but it offers a few fhings that game didn't that make it worthwhile all on its own. For starters, it's the first of the "first string" ColecoVision games that incorporates the Coleco joystick at close to its potential. Like Intellivision's comparatively shoddier method, plastic overlays are supplied with the cart—but here they should actually be called underlays, because that's exactly what they do: they lay underneath the grids that Coleco wisely provided, enabling the player fo feel, by touch alone, whether they're pressing buttons 1 through 9. Don't know about you, but the Intel li vision easy-way-out— that is, memorizing the overlay and then not using if—always seemed fo me like a waste of everybody's time.

That said, the rest of the game is fairly routine—youthe-mouse run around the maze, evading the cat while snacking on pieces of "small cheese." Rather than four energy blasts in each corner there are four bones nearby, which you can simply munch on and accumulate whenever you need 'em—a neater concept than Pac's, I think. Just press button #5 on your controller and—woof woof— you've turned into a dog and are capable of eating those too-close cats. Life plainly isn't //Tee this, some would say.

Also of niff is the maze's "In" Box, located in Maze Square Central, which mystically teleports you-the-mouse to one of the four Corner Boxes near the bones and... urn, you know the rest.

One of Coleco's better games—limited only by the graphics of the arcade version. Chew on that bone for a while. Kevin Christopher

SPIDERFIGHTER

Activision

(Atari VCS)

Spiderfighter uses three tried and true video game ingredients: shooting, bugs and fruit. The graphics are sharp, clear and colorful, fhe noises agreeable, and, as always, Acfivision provides names for almost everything.

The player is a "Bug Blaster" at the bottom of fhe screen. The "Master Nest" comes out from fhe left, and fhe fruit is on fhe fop right. The Master Nest is protected by a shield for a few seconds until it releases a "Spy Pod." As long as the Spy Pod remains unblasted, the Master Nest keeps reproducing faster than the waterbugs in your basement.

The other offspring are the Green Widow (it protects the Master Nest and only occasionally kills you) and the Stinger (it tracks you down — quickly). While the player is busy trying to solve the population problem, the Master Nest sneaks over and tries to steal the fruit on the right side of the screen. If it gets away with all three fruits, you lose a blaster. If you kill all the spiders without losing any fruit, you get a bonus blaster in addition to points.

The game is fun, especially for players who like rapid fire shoofing action. After the first few racks, the bugs are hopping around like mad, dropping the only thing there is no name for all over you. It's cuter than a Raid commercial.

Joanne Zangrilli

DRAGONFIRE

Imagic

(Atari VCS/Intellivision)

Imagic is out with two versions of their new cartridge, Dragonfire, one for fhe Afari VCS and one for Infellivision. No complaints here.

OK, here's the poop: a herd of thoroughly impolite, firebreathing Dragons have booted fhe King and his pampered menials ouf of the Castle. "Our Kingdom must now languish under lizards!" whines Kingy in the instructions. Liberal democrats, even then!

As Dragonfire gets under way, you find yourself with seven flaxen-haired (yoohool) Princes that resemble Phil Donahue dressed up like a sissy. You, the joystick wielder, must yank him along on a flash dash across fhe bridge fo fhe Treasure Room.

Not so fast. Dragon hatchlings (dragoonies?) are up there passing fiery footballs Prince does not want to receive. He can jump over the low ones, duck under the high ones, plus |ump and duck simultaneously when two fireballs are coming.

Once he makes it to the Treasure Room, Prince must avoid the daddy Dragon's breath as the little liege darts about grabbing treasures. Each time he picks one up, a lovely, round bell-tone sounds out, just like the Right Answer! dinger on a game show. Some of these items—jug, lamp, goblet, candelabra— apparently came from a garage sale the Prince in Riddle Of The Sphinx had awhile back. At least the jingle-booties and the turquoise dish drainer, anyhoo.

Pick up all the goodies and you find yourself back up on the bridge, ready for more abuse. Sorry, Prince, but this is a videogame, after all. If you wanna complain about it, then give us back your six extra lives, wise guy!

The Intellivision cart differs little from the VCS version, except the Castle looks like it's in a better neighborhood. It does grow much more difficult as the game progresses. An arrow-slinging archer appears in the turret and—lookout!— the 1 Tth Dragon is invisible. Doesn't help his breath any.

Allow me to share one small tip I blundered into. When you're in the Treasure Room, you can whiz all the way over to the left side of the screen and the Dragon won't be able to fry you. However, this works in the earlier rounds only.

Dragonfire's strong point is the variety of action you'll encounter in every game, unless you're really a dope. The jump 'n' duck Bridge-work is enjoyably difficult and, best of all, the Prince makes a different sound every time he gets roasted!

Rick Johnson

'CADES

POPEYE

(Nintendo)

Here's just what every kid has been waiting for—a painless way to eat spinach.

Popeye features remarkably sharp graphics—almost like a Saturday morning cartoon —and without a doubt is the best of the Donkey Kong-type arcade games (ah, those Japanese!). The game's strongest point starts out to be a drawback; that is, it's fairly complex to learn, resulting in more than a few wasted tokens before one can get a handle on how to keep Popeye's tatooed muscles from tumbling into the bay. Luckily,

I found the game in a 10 tokens/$l joint which took off some of the pressure.

The basic screen pits Popeye against Brutus for the affections of the lovely Shelley Duvall, er, Olive Oyl, who tosses hearts into the air for her man to catch. Popeye must fill his house with hearts without a) letting any fall to the bottom and break (at which point Olive breaks out in tears) or b) getting knocked on his ass by a rather agile (for a big guy) Brutus. Popeye can take a swing at his arch foe only after his spinach fix, and cans frequently appear on one of two ladders for him to grab. Any hero can usually send Brutus flying several times a game.

Helping Brutus (as if he needed it) is the Hag, who pops out at frequent intervals to send bottles flying at Popeye, which he can deffect with the punch button. But one missed jab and Popeye winds up in the drink—and he's only got three lives. Like James Bond, Popeye has to keep himself alive and please a woman at the same time. Of course, the former is easier than the latter.

Once Popeye fills his house with hearts, he moves down the block to a busier scene with Sweet Pea and Wimpy adding to the confusion. The third level takes place on a ship, but I yam what I yam— an impatient game player— and haven't quite mastered the game that far.

Popeye is a challenge from the word go; just ask the best kid at the arcade. He can only play about 10 minutes on a coin.

Bill Paige

TAC/SCAN

_(Sega)_

No wimps tiptoeing on hamburgers and lettuce, no trunkless heads slurping and glorping their way through mazes in this one.

Hell. We're talking a squadron of spaceships, the kind you guide with a main control knob while enemy rockets, torpedoes, and laser rays make you wish you'd stuck to ping-pong for hand-eye coordination. Return fire with none other than the FIRE button and you score bonus points, blasting multiple enemy crafts with a single salvo from your fleet. Quiche-eaters, of course, can use the single target option.

A Reserve Ship Count appears in the upper left corner, if you have time to look. With an astutely-named ADD SHIP button, you can add up to eight extras. You can also add ships by catching the "docking" ones that float about like lint on your eyeball—just properly maneuver the empty cradles remaining after your own have been blown to hell. In a gesture of infinite providence, the creators of Tac/ Scan also award an extra ship for every 10,000 points.

One of the strategies for lasting the duration of a multisyllable curse is to avoid pressing the ADD SHIP button in the first round of elimination. Hold back, and steer clear of the yellow torpedoes. You'll survive with the extra ships needed to face the secondscreen, which make Stargate seem like a freeze-frame.

On Screen II, you're traveling into deep space while a new wave of enemy ships bullet by you like trucks on a two-lane highway. Unfortunately, you're confined to a formation with limited firing directions. Random enemy crafts, please note, can shoot at you with impunity. This is one time you might use the ADD SHIP button, preferably before your cradles are emptied and the GAME OVER notice flashes across the screen. Video life can be harsh and unfair.

j Surviving fhe second screen brings what's left of your taffered fleet to door #3, the threshold of the Space Warp Tunnel, which squirms like a psychedelic slinky across the surface. It's an aerobic workout for the eyes. The object is fo keep your squadron from crashing info fhe ambiguously-defined Tunnel Walls. Sorry to report that you can't rack up points on the third screen —the plan here is simple survival. Very little is offered in fhe way of positive reinforcement, except your knowing the cycle will repeat itself. Or that you might get your initials in the all-time Top Ten.

Whoopee.

George Piner

BUCK ROGERS/PLANET OF ZOOM

_(Sega)_

Dull fun is about the best way to describe Buck Rogers — Planet Of Zoom. Af least you get your money's worth, but if Annie Oakley were still alive, she'd probably take on this game with her back turned and a dental mirror in one hand. No prizes for imagination handed out here.

An oversized joystick puts you on the bridge, buckeroo, moving your ship from side fo side and up and down, frying to avoid an endless stream of flying saucers (looking just like people thought they did in the 1950s), asteroids and other UFOs. For those who like triggers, there's a trigger which fires continuously (fhe only way to go!) when pressed; for those who like buttons there's a button that does the same thing. The only other controls are buttons marked "fast" and "slow"—guess what they do. The fast button is useful in speeding by the enemy without having the roof cave in on top of your ship; the slow button usually just prolongs inevitable destruction. Might as well get if over with fast, I say.

After passing through eight zones (hyperspacing each time —some gimmicks just never wear out) you get a chance to do battle with the mothership. Digits are your reward, that and a chance fo sfart fhe whole voyage over again at a higher degree of difficulty. Final annihilation ends the game, as it ends all games.

If you're looking for a breezy, 3-D shoof-'em-up, this is it. Fire up and fire away!

Pete Meyer

DARK PLANET

(Seeburg)

If this game is 3-D, then my eyes are 4-F.

Seeburg opts for the gimmick in this late '82 arcade game conceived by the team of Erickson and Langlois with software engineered by Jurich and Jahnke. They designed a solid scene in relief—a cardboard-brown box canyon— over which a video of the action is projected/reflected.

Ironically, its novelty isn't nearly as exciting as the game itself: "The MX on Mount St. Helens." The canyon displayed is cluttered with a creek, a steep volcano and various enemy settlements and bases. The ships are ghostly blue characters that become hot red figures after dropping down an access chute to the plain's surface.

The targets are aggressive fighter craft, protective "rail rovers," and sluggish laser trains, plus infrequent cliff emplacements and ground bunkers. Player tools are verticallydeployed bombs and horizontally-beamed laser cannons. If fhe player drops the bombs saturation-style and sticks fo ambushing fighters as they emerge from the surface entrance shaft, the game is half won.

The three worst dangers are menacing steam clouds that randomly puff up fo envelope the ship with clogging fog; the sudden volcanic blast, an eruption which gradually adds an obnoxious cloud cover between the sky and the surface; and the Seeburg's ill-fitted controls, which rely on a clumsy Omega Race-type direction knob instead of Right or Left rotate buttons.

Even with its unique setting and inefficient steering, Dark Planet can be mastered well before one becomes crosseyed. With 100,000 points, a player gets a spare life, but with only 30-40,000 points, you'll make the "Dark Planet Hall of Fame."

And who needs a longer life when fame is at hand?

Bill Knight