MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to: MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064 Birmingham, Ml 48012

WHO AND JESUS, TOO!

I was just reading some mag’s fan mail, and can you believe how many people wrote on Ozzy, AC/DC, Kiss, Iron Maiden and Led Zeppelin? I personally think all of those kinds of bands are sick! It’s getting to where I don’t even know if the bands I listen to on the radio are Satan worshippers or not! I really love the Lord a lot, and everyone is supposed to, but some people don’t!

I’m only 12 years old, and I really like the Who, they’re a decent band. (And I really don’t see what most of you people have against Roger, John and Kenney!) What I am really trying to say is that people can be into rock ’n’ roll and the Lord. But why do people have to be into Satan and rock ’n’ roll? Well, I’m certainly not into Satan, but I am into my Lord Jesus and the Who.

Hope P.

San Dimas, CA

(...and, for a small donation, you too can have our Ozzy Osbourne Christian Holy Days calendar for ’83!—Ed.)

AND MORE REUGIONfll

C’mon, CREEM! Are you telling me that groups such as Led Zep, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden (and the list goes on) aren’t occult influenced, if not devoted Satanists? Hey, like the media and politics are part of Satan’s work also, in their own deceiving way> Man, like Satan rules this world, but not for long. Hispower will only triumph to a certain extent. We are now living in a New Order, the illuminati is on the verge of achieving hidden controls over entire populations. I’ll be in the rock ’n’ roll circuit in Lubbpck, Texas in no longer than two years, and I will have a message for the world in my music. Don’t call me, PH call you.

Jerry Pena

Levelland, TX

(You get the calendar free!—Ed.)

LOSERS’REVOLT

Next year, we have our own awards, OK? Get Jimmy Page up there for his award, Robert Plant for his and, while we’re at it, all the people who MADE MUSIC SOMETHING NORMAL PEOPLE CAN DEAL WITH AND NOT STUFF BY PEOPLE NAMED AFTER THE DOG IN THE WIZARD OF OZ. Sorry for yelling. I yell when I get disgusted.

Laura

This hellhole they call the East Coast.

(That’s funny — WE review records!—Ed.)

OH DAD, YOU’RE BEING A SCIENTIST AGAIN!

Here are the world’s worst groups and the names they should have: Boston—Clodston; Journey—Bernie; Foreigner—Boringer; Foghat —Smoghat; Firefall—Slimefall; Toto—Tutu; Eagles—Fellout Beagles.

XZ19ZY

Detroit, MI

THIS NEVER HAPPENS WITH SECRET!

Hey, Gang! Didja hear about the two neatokeen TV shows that will be broadcast next season? They’re call The Frampton Bunch and Daltrey and Harriet!

Gee, we know you’re excited about it—we can small your deodorant failing from here!

Ginchy & Peachy-Keen

Pleasantville, NJ

ON THE LAMB

Did any sheep go to the Girlschool “Hide Your Sons” tour?

Miss Ace De'Samo

Living Embarrassingly Close To

Asbury Park, NJ

P.S. 1 want Bananarama’s entire wardrobe.

CUTER THAN THE CLASH?

This is in reference to your article on Duran Duran.

Toby, you made two errors. To most people, they wouldn’t be noticable, but to people who like the group, and especially its members, it’s noticable—very noticable.

1) Calling “most of them too handsome for their own good” is a mistake! ALL of them are too handsome for their Own good, especially Nick Rhodes.

2) Saying that John Taylor “resembles a pouty English cousin of David Johansen” is really an insult to John. Only Mick Jagger looks as bad as David Johansen!!

Other than that, it was a great article. Print some more on those gorgeous guys!!

A Loyal Duran Duran Freak

Wahiawa, HI

P.S. When are you guys gonna do an article on Journey?

(When Steve Perry starts resembling a pouty English cousin of David Johansen—Ed.)

ANTEATING HABITS

I hate Adam Ant! He’s a limp wrist like fer shun, and I would like to ask him a question: WHAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN A FROG? When you figure out the answer, please tell me.

Lisa Yow (Lee)

Anna, IL

(His tongOe catches more than flies, ho ho ho!— Ed.)

OWCH! OWCH! OWCH!

Please print this because I want to cut it out and pin it on the cat: AMERICANS ARE HEAVY METAL LOVING COMMUNIST PIGS!

An Ex-Mod Canada

BASIC INTERVIEW TECHNIQUES Are there going to be any new changes for CREEM?

Linda Ratcliffe Detroit, MI

(Sez Dave DiM: “It’s hard to say with the audience the way they change. In the ’70s it was the hippie movement and jazz. ”)

CINCINNATI SOUL MAN

I say thumbs up to Richard Riegel in regards to his review of Prince’s 1999 LP.

It is common knowledge that few black performers gain continued access to the pop market. The mechanisms that prevent blacks from achieving a wider audience are varied, but the greatest factor is probably the prejudices of the radio and TV programmers who decide for us what we want to hear and thus, in fact, shape what we are capable of appreciating. The media people argue of course, that they are merely meeting a demand, but this can be seen for the vicious circle it is when you recall that, by and large, the only way you get to hear what’s new and thus make a choice about what to demand is through radio and TV.

I agree with Riegel in saying that Prince will shake up the white pop scene when (not if) he makes that racial crossover leap. Prince’s black/ white synthesis isn’t just a picture of what, could be, it’s a prophecy!

A Loyal Prince Subject Detroit, MI

INTERESTING FACT ABOUT s D.L.R. UNCOVERED!

Ya know, David Lee Roth has got a really interesting apartment.

Now the rest is up to your imagination.

L.D.

Miramar, Fll

CANCEL THE EARTHQUAKE

By the year 2000, robots singing “Don’t Stop Believing” will rule the world,

kay

sitting on a tumbleweed in TX

LOOK OUT, MA BELL!

Oh, by the way, Tommy Tutone’s Jenny has a new number: I81-U812...What the hell does NME stand for?

Diva

Cambria, NY (No More Elmo!—Ed.)

DESPERATE APPEAL!

A banana is transparent. To prove my point, go into a dark room with no light at all. Hold the banana two feet from your face. What is on the other side of the banana? Darkness. What do you see? Darkness. Need I say more?

Zig

New York, China

EZ PICK UP

I recently went to see (sexy) Billy Squier in Pittsburgh and he picked me to go up on the stage and dance with him! Well this was at the very end of the concert and my friend had run out of film by then!

I would like for anyone who might have taken a picture of me and Billy to please write to me. I will pay them for the picture!

Mary Thosby

Youngstown, ©hio

(Howcum you’re so anxious for the pics? Are you sure you were just. ..dancing?—Ed.)

LABABEDI, TRIGGER LINKED!

As I live and breathe, I would never have believed that I’d do something as laughably ridiculous as write a serious letter to CREEM, but Iman Lababedi’s Undertones article absolutely pissed the hell out of me. I decided I could stand, the sneering attacks on Ulster’s finest, Stiff Little Fingers, because I can see why many people wouldn’t like them. After all, not everyone can be as sensitive, intelligent, discerning and as truly passionate in the belief that music can be used as a medium for expressing important ideas and emotions—asa type of real communication between artist and audience—as I am, can they? So okay, he put down Stiff Little Fingers, but...why the attack the Clash? (I love the way CREEM pretends to take the attitude that the Clash don’t matter while mentioning them on virtually every other page of the rag.) He makes their not playing Derry sound like a prime example of cowardly hypocrisy, and neglects to acknowledge that they did play Belfast. You don’t bother making the trip to Ulster just to get your picture taken. Lababedi also forgets to mention that Americans became aware of the Undertones largely because of the Clash’s hauling the caterwauling brats around on one of their U.S. tours. (Yes, that’s the real Joe Strummer on the innersleeve of Hypnotised.)

The Clash may be arrogant, obnoxious, selfrighteous, occasionally shrill, sorta dumb, and (oh God, are they) vain, but they’re sincere about what they do. And that 1 know—firsthand.

Kickin’ up a racket Skolly

Columbus, OH

(P.S. The only reason Feargal Sharkey doesn’t like Stiff Little Fingers is ’coz Ali McMordie has sexier legs. I bet Iman Lababedi has knees like a horse.

(Not only knees!—Ed.)

BATTY LIFESTYLE

This letter needs to be printed for OZZY’S SAKE!

First off, I gotta say to Mariea, who wrote you in February-OZZY IS THE GREATEST! I know that’s right! If she wants to see “demented,” tell her to read the other letters in the same issue written by Julie Hammontree. There isn’t anyone better than Ozzy, he is the hottest and always will be. I have killed three people who said otherwise. I am comitted to the Ozzy lifestyle and I will always love him.

OZZY IS GOD!

The Mad Rat Jacksonville, FL

There are some questions that have been puzzling me. l)What the hell is Ozzy Osbourne?;

2) How long ago did his brain leave him?;

3) How does he manage to sing if he’s so wasted?; 4)What’s wrong with brown M&Ms anyway? Thanks a lot!

Ozzy lovers (barf)

Colts Neck, NJ

1 )Manager of a hot pillow motel for the dead! 2)Brain? 3)Ozzy has so little substance, he cannot be wasted! 4) You can’t tell who’s been sitting on them!—Ed.)

VIVA LA DIFFERANCE!

When Ozzy bit off the dove’s head, he was just doing something different! Other people didn’t, so therefore, some people call him demented. What’s wrong with doing something different?

Shuja Jashanmal Ontario, CA

(Just to do something “different," we’ve had your Mom and Dad killed!—Ed.)

SANE VOICE IN WILDERNESS I hate bats anyway.

Ozzy’s best fan Bronx, NY

MORE SICK MAIL!

On a recent trip to New York, I contracted hepatitis. I took the advice of a doctor and immediately stopped taking drugs and shut myself off from the world. I stayed in bed for a week during which I did virtually nothing except moaned a lot and played nothing but Velvets (mostly Loaded, 1969, or Live At Max’s). No MTV, radio or TV. Just Pure Velvet played, of course, at the Proper Decibel Level.

After a week of Velvet therapy I returned to the doctor, who astounded at my seeming recovery and further astounded, shocked, even, at my rendidtion of “Sweet Jane” in the waiting

room. (Done a cappella with foot tapping).

After the tests, it was determined that I was completely cured and that, according to my liver, I was as healthy as if I’d never had it.

Just letting someone, somewhere know that it -still works. Don’t go to the doctor, go down to the record store, go while there’s still time-time. Sister Ray’s Half Brother,

Jersey, USA

P.S. Besides Velvets, I also had a few years worth of CREEM back issues to read. There, now will you print it?

P.P.S. Is somebody gonna publish a collection of Lester’s writing?

(Wouldsomebody READ it?—Ed.)

STEP RIGHT UP, SONNY!

I am pissed. I like Van Halen, AC/DC, Billy Squier and many, many others. I don’t know if you consider these to be heavy metal, but dammit I can read!

A Long-Lasting Van Halen Fan Who Can Read

Mount Laurel, NJ

(Wanna buy a collection of Lester’s writing?— Ed.)

BORING CLASH LETTER

I want to say a few words to and about the Clash, so pass ’em along, will ya? First off, I wrote a letter a few years back lambasting the band, cos they were slagging my city and country, plus they had played a lousy show at the Motor City Roller Rink. Second, Americans did not want to shoot some gooks, if that’s what you say at the beginning of “Fm So Bored With The U.S.A.” We want peace, Joe. Third, I like you guys’ integrity, I mean you’re the most relevant band to me, but I think you’re a little naive in the political arena—and pessimistic. Fourth, a couple of years back when you were in town, and wanted to tour Motown and the Creemates welshed on ya, I was working there at the time, and I could’ve gave you a grand tour, and some classic cassettes. Fifth, I got Sandinista, London Calling and the first tape, and I saw you at Madison Theater, which was a good gig. So, keep making it count, and don’t burn out like a cheap thrill.

From A Proud Capitalistic Jared Janes The Berg Of Decadence,

Royal Oak, MI

(Yeah, but I bet you don’t have them in your closet, you lambasteryou. —Ed.)

TIME OUT FOR SCIENCE

If you get drunk in Australia, will the room you’re in spin clockwise or counterclockwise?

Angry Andy Overkill

Baltimore, MD

PERMANENT GREEK WEEK

I wish I could say I didn’t agree with Laura Fissinger’s review of Hall and Oates H20. And I wish that everything she wrote in it wasn’t true, but it is. I never really noticed, to tell you the truth, Hall’s misogynistic tendencies (to put it mildly) and I have seven of their albums. This won’t knock them off the top of my list but it does make me wonder if Daryl sets out to write that kind of song or does it just come naturally to him having done it for so long? And I’m also wondering why Sara (Janna is her sister) doesn’t care. But it looks like the album will do pretty well, as “Maneater” and “Family Man” are constantly on the radio. I can see how it really pisses Ms. Fissinger off. I’ve always thought they were pretty complicated even though Private Eyes is as simple as they come. By the way, is John Greek? Everyone tells me he’s Spanish or Mexican and his last name doesn’t give me a clue!

Wishing & Wondering

Birmingham, MI

(Misogynist?Sounds kinda Greek!—Ed.)

BAD DOG!

Who the hell are the Psychedelic Furs? Sounds like something I’d shoot my dog for.

A Rock ’n’ Roller Forever

Palms, CA

FAMILY, FRIENDS WERE RIGHT!

I’m an 18 year old Led-Head. I live the mighty Zep’s music, especially their style. But most of all I am head-over-heels madly, deeply in love with Mr. Robert Anthony Plant. He’s a perfect 10 + in every way. I love Zep so much and when John Bonham died, I hurt and ached all over so bad I couldn’t hardly stand it. I wanted to be there so bad, to share my sorrow and regards with his family and closest friends, and with people who understand, nobody in my family understood. They theought I was disgusting for crying for a no good hippie and/or druggie. Well, let the people say and think what they want, I love John for what he was and the legend he lives on to be. I guess I could say when John died, a part of me died and went with him.

Sheri Steinbach

Littleton, CO

(Too bad it wasn’t the part you write with!—Ed.)

SO GO SIT SOMEPLACE ELSE!

Boy Howdy and all that stuff! I just wanted to say that I’m getting more and more uncomfortable reading this magazine. The reason for this is because everytime I read the Mail section, I see

an ugly shade of prejudice and bigotry. It’s as though CREEM readers are having a war of opinions. Why the hell can’t people-keep their opinions to their selves? I just hate to see people sacrifice the appreciation of their favorite artists because some jerk-off tells them that it’s bad. I say, “Like whoever you like and don’t be ashamed of it.” Personally, I buy records of just about everybody. To me, rock is rock. It doesn’t matter to me what it’s classified as. You folks just gotta realize that CREEM is a rock V roll magazine, and that means that it’s not going to cater to a special current trend.

A Lord David Sutch Fan,

Kitty Lee Morgan

P.S. to Ed., please print for peace.

MONEY HONEY

I usually flip through your mag (that is, when I can tear it away from my little sister) just to read your hilarious picture captions. But when I heard this month’s issue had an Eddie Money interview in it, I actually ran out and bought a copy.

Thanks to Ms. Goldstein for a great article, which should have been done months ago. After attending two great shows by Eddie this fall, I wondered where he had been the past two years; now I know.

Welcome back, Eddie! I only wish our eyes had met across the crowded concert hall in Pontiac or Lansing during my first rock ’n’ roll shows. Lucky girl!

Kris

Howell, MI

(Next time, stick to the captions. —Ed.)

SIGN HER CASTE!

You’re not goin’ to believe this. I picked up your mag dated Nov. 1977 at a second-hand bookstore. I didn’t know a mag called CREEM ever existed, after goin’ through it, I really like it! Trouble is, guys and gals out here are all crazy disco. I’m the only sane person out here, digging rock ’n’ roll and heavy metal. They think I’m crazy. Beats me!!

Ms. Tanaz D. Lomboowalla

Bombay, India

(It still IS November, ’77 in Bombay!—Ed.)

NOW HOW MUCH WOULD HE PAY?

D. Bowie is the man who sold the world; Boy , George is the sucker who bought it!

Tastefully,

ZeldaF.

Van Nuys, CA

I WANNA TISCll YOU ALL OVER!

I am furious about the misinformation being published to the taxpayers about proposal “A.”

All these years I have worked for tax relief for the citizens of Michigan, and have never asked for a dime. But those days are gone! We need money to fight!

To those of you who supported our last proposal, or wish you did, for your sake, your children and your grandchildren, we are asking for one dollar or more from each of you, so that we may get our message to you, the voters!!

Citizens United For Tisch

Pontiac, MI

HAD TO BE ASKED

Who is Joan Jett anyway? An airplane?

Lisa Marie

Elsewhere, CA

P.S. Go-Go’s are the greatest! (but Fm not a lesbian!)

P.P.S. Kathy Valentine: bought any new lamps lately?

GOOD TIMES GONE

David Lee Roth and Rick Johnson are bend over buddies.

Mojo Risin’ AKA God

Fort Worth, TX

(It’s easier to pat each other’s backs that way!— Ed.)

YOUTH OF TODAY SPEAK

I love Rob Halford! I love him more than anything. I can’t get enought pictures of him and even looking at pictures makes me want him more! I even carved (with a tack) “Rob” on my arm. That’s really no big deal, though, cuz at our school (a sucky school) everyone is carving “ADAM” in their arms or legs or wherever. Preister (Mindy “Halford” Bunch)

San Diego, CA

(Well, you sure are smarter than them!—Ed.)

SOPHISTICATED HUMOR, PT. 92

Q. What do you get when an epileptic falls into a lettuce patch?

A. Seizure salad!

Cathy

Marina Del Ray, CA

LEMMY ALONE!

Re the article of A Flock Of Seagulls in one of yer recent Ishooz: I’m disappointed the interviewer didn’t ask the members of the band the one question most of their fans would consider extremely crucial, namely, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I’d bet my copy of Metal Machine Music the collective answer would be “Hawkwind.”

Willie G. Moseley

Montgomery, A1

THRILL BABIES?

Hello, fellow thrill babies! As I sit here listening to one of my numerous Johnny Thunders albums, I have been pondering the latest CREEM letters. I noticed quite a few people seem to put the Clash on a very high pedestal. Last month in their dressing room in Williamsburg (yes, you heard me) I learned more about the Clash than most of you would care to know.

OK, Sheila, so Joe Strummer sweated on you. Well he signed my thigh, honey, so go home to under your rock.

Someone named Scizzy (what the fuck kind of a name is that, anyway?) seems to want Mick. Take it from one who knows, honey, you DON’T want Mick! He’s a conceited, self-centered asshole. Face it, he’s nothing but an anorexic wimp with glasses. He can’t dance, either. Oh, and Scizzy, you want groupies to unite? I’m S& groupie, but I refuse to unite with the likes of you (chuckle, snicker). You little psuedo-punk!

Judy Jetson

Richmond, VA

P.S. In the dressing room, Mick Jones was reading Elvis by Albert Goldman. Guess what I did? 1 lost his place (he saw me too)! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! You been tasted, Mick!

ACTUAL SPIT?

This letter is in regards to Sheila, who wrote a letter in your Jan. ’83 issue: Listen, honey, you think you’re “the only Joe fan that matters?” Ha-ha! I am! Joe actually spit on me!

Amanda, the only Joe fan that nfatters

Someplace in CN not worth mentioning (OK Soe fans, her’s your chance! Has Joe ever puked on, bled on, or done #1 or #2 on you? Write in today! Top Joe receptacle wins all the Who letters we’ve received this month! Both trucks full!—Ed.)