YOU’RE A RIOT, ALICE

One of the great things about heavy metal is that you can always count on it to get your parents really pissed off, no matter what.

Of course, any kind of music will drive them up the wall if you play it loud enough, but when you want fast results using the lowest amount of wattage possible, then heavy metal is your best bet.

Driving them up the wall by playing heavy metal is only half the fun, however. If you really want to get under their skin but good, what you need to do is latch onto someone so loud, twisted and crazy for outrage that they’ll make the news almost every day and strike a chord of loathing so deep in the hearts of your parents that even the mere mention of the monster’s name will cause them to cringe in disgust and heave your entire record collection into the trash compactor in a vain attempt to save your soul.

And nobody—but nobody—pissed off more parents in a shorter period of time for a longer period of time than Alice Cooper.