Confessions of a FILM FOX

Confessions of a FILM FOX

That cool English rose transplanted into dank Los Angeles soil,

Rachel Ward, turns out to be a lady with some past. Her supposed movie debut, Sharky's Machine, t'ain't her debut at all—a sleazo 1980 sex 'n' thrills movie called Night School was her maiden voyage on celluloid. Rachel's now playing the much-coveted lead role in the TV mini-series version of the smash book The Thorn Birds, in which she plays an Australian siren. As if all that weren't enough, 'tis rumored Burt Reynolds cast the bosomy ex-model (an oxymoron, that) in Sharky's Machine on the basis of, uh, personal acquaintance as well as professional.

A new Monty Python film is in the works, titled The Meaning Of Life and scripted by all six Pythoners: Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and Michael Palin. At last, after the success of Life Of Brian, the wacky troupe's flicks are now sought out by studios instead of vice versa. Have to wait a bit for the release, though... we Yanks will get it on our home screens next summer.

Well, y'all know about former CREEM boy writer Cameron Crowe's book Fast Times At Ridgemont High, about his experiences going back to high school to pose as a real teen; well the movie is indeed out. But did you know the picture had a "X" rating for four days? That's right, little campers, and all because there was male frontal nudity instead of

the obligatory female, in a love scene. We have the Motion Picture Association of America to thank for this brilliant piece of censorship, because the producers finally bowed to pressure, snipped the offending boy nudity and copped an "R" rating instead. Sheesh... (Hey Cameron: send money now!!!)

Speaking of sultry English beauties (go back three paragraphs), Lesley-Anne Down was expecting the birth of her baby by director William Friedkin in August, but has so far refused to marry her potential bundle of joy's pop. Independent woman Lesley-Anne just wants it this way...

Here's one for your palimony files: Vanilla-olay king John Davidson, split from his wife of 11 years, who he says "didn't want to be Mrs. John Davidson," has a new squeeze—make that ongoing squeeze—in Rhonda Rivera, one of his "backup singers" and almost 20 years younger than Johnny's soon to be -ex. "Rhonda is so feminine," John gushed to People, ".. .it's the taking care of her I like. She makes me feel like a man." OK so far, but it seems ol' John wants it both ways, having induced his ultra-feminine Rhonda to sign a palimony agreement, as he feels "if our love dies," the little woman isn't entitled to being taken care of...P.U.f

Bob & Doug McKenzie not to return to SCTV? That's the word, and when John Candy and Andrea Martin appeared on a Cable News Network talk show, they affirmed that Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis probably wouldn't be returning to the show in September. Meanwhile SCTV has added former Second City trouper Marty Short to the TV show. Marty opined in the T.O. papers that things could go either way; that the door was being left open for a Bob & Doug return in Sept, if they wanted to...

Pubescent movie star Robbie Benson and pizza queen Karla DeVito have joined together in an alliance commonly known as matrimony! And speaking of couples, veering over to the rock field, that perky Pearl E. Gates has switched her romantic allegiance from Clash manager Kozmo Vinyl to suave Clash heartthrob Paul (pronounce my name right!) Simonon. All seems happy in the Clash camp. Ah, modern romance!

Britt Ekland to record excerpts of her tell-all-about-Rod True Britt tome on videocassette for homevid fans? Dare we hope she will act out the famous Rod wearing her knickers scene, or.. .or.. the Sellers honeymoon caper? Can't wait, Britt. Speaking of Rod, those in the know claim his much-ballyhooed return to England, crying "too much crime" in our fair States, can't last long. "Rod always comes back," confided the jnsider. You may recall that Mr. Stewart's Porsche was stolen in Los Angeles recently, putting the fear of God into Roddy and greasing his wheels for the return to Albion. Said our source, "that thief wanted that Porsche, and could care less who it belonged to. Rod was just in the wrong place at the wrong time..."

Tater Tot Tatum O'Neal is getting serioso with Kennedy scion Anthony Shriver— Eunice Kennedy Shriver is reportedly initiating the young spud in the rites of Catholicism, as a trip down the altar isn't a totally off-the-wall possibility. Would almost-stepma Farrah step in as matron of honor? See y'all at the Labor Day truck pull!