THE POLICE
HOME: Any red-light district. AGE: One middling, displaced amerikaner; one Ace-Face ex-teacher and screen mod; one ex-hippie who “goes back a way.” PROFESSION: Creators and sole patent owners of a new elixir entitled “Guinja,” a potent mix of British brew and Jamaican herbs guaranteed to grow hair on even the shiniest toes.
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THE POLICE
CREEM S PROFILES
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
HOME: Any red-light district.
AGE: One middling, displaced amerikaner; one Ace-Face ex-teacher and screen mod; one ex-hippie who “goes back a way.”
PROFESSION: Creators and sole patent owners of a new elixir entitled “Guinja,” a potent mix of British brew and Jamaican herbs guaranteed to grow hair on even the shiniest toes.
HOBBIES: Cloning new Copeland brothers, sticking obscene messages into suggestively-shaped bottles; time studies of hamster lactation periods; drum cuddling; nursing fond memories and great expectations.
LAST BOOK READ: Up Your Follicles by Clare Oxide.
LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Watching their second LP debut at the top of the British charts—without giggling.
QUOTE: “Now will you play us on the BBC-1?”
PROFILE: American drummer boy finds fear and loathing in the U.S.; picks up Newcastle jazzbo with stud tendencies and reconditioned axeman. Jazzbo puts pen to paper, big hits flow as thousands support their local police. Entire band fits into Chevette and tours U.S., enabling them to plan return in separate Lear jets. Deal to buy Paul McCartney still pending.
BEER: Boy Howdy!
Authentic There are zillions of ways to get your name in the papers, but only one way to slake your thirst for CREEM. The quality standards we set down in the dawn of the Seventies have been on a Wild Mouse ride through the Highlands, the Lowlands, and the Barstools.
Always say "Say Howdy!"
