Confessions of a FILM FOX
Brit War Update! Despite the British/Argentinian festivities of the spring, the number one box office hit in Buenos Aires is the Brit-made Chariots Of Fire! Those wacky gauchos don’t care what they watch. Meanwhile, Elton John announced he’d be entertaining the troops instead of Bob Hope.
The CREEM Archive presents the magazine as originally created. Digital text has been scanned from its original print format and may contain formatting quirks and inconsistencies.
Confessions of a FILM FOX
Brit War Update! Despite the British/Argentinian festivities of the spring, the number one box office hit in Buenos Aires is the Brit-made Chariots Of Fire! Those wacky gauchos don’t care what they watch. Meanwhile, Elton John announced he’d be entertaining the troops instead of Bob Hope. Spud factory update: Tanya Tucker is forgetting that old coot Glen Campbell with young ’tater Jimmy Van Patten, decades closer to her own age group. Jacqueline Bisset and her leggy beau, Russian ballet star Alexander Godunov, should have had their June wedding by the . time you read this. When queried on the difference between Russian and American women, Alexander cooed “All over the world, they are just women—wonderful!” Not too many Bissets in Bozoville, we’d venture...
Mariel Hemingway, the strong, silent type (like so many of the characters her grandpa wrote about), is gadding about with Robert Towne, who wrote and directed her recent flick Personal Best. Seems romance blossomed among the barbells... Susan George to undergo an eyebrow bypass operation, much like the one pioneered on Soviet premier Leonid Brezhnev? Brooke Shields eagerly awaits the results...
Turns out that the proposed new Leave It To Beaver series would involve showing our Beav as a newly-divorced dad of two, struggling to raise his kiddies according to the creed of Ward and June. And Jerry Mathers would play his old self, although none of the other principals would return to their old roles. Eddie Haskell (Ken Osmond) is happy being an L. A. cop; Tony Dow feels he’s too closely identified with Wally as it is, snotty Gilbert is a —get this—“awardwinning filmmaker” up in swish San Francisco. Ward/Hugh Beaumont is too ill to work, but no word on why Barbara Billingsley couldn’t be June; her Airplane! role proved she’s still capable of filling out her Pat Perkins shirtwaist dresses. We’ll pass on word about the new Beav series as we get it...
Ray Davies and Chrissie Hynde tied the knot on April 21, note our spies. No special reason offered for that particular day... The recent National Enquirer cover story on the “secret romance” of Victoria “Gibbless” Principal and Tom Selleck was a hoax, as it turns out—Tom later claimed that he’d never even met Victoria. New reports hinted that a hopeful Miss Vicki might have planted the item herself.. .perhaps via an enterprising press agent. Fearless Jake “Raging Bull” LaMotta is proceeding with a print sequel to hisR.B. tome...forget that, we want ex-wife Vikki LaMotta’s diet tips, after catching her in November ’81 Playboy— oooeee! Imagine calling the fiftyish Vikki “grandma”... Speaking of oooeee, hasn’t the Moral Majority caught Victoria Principal’s summer Vic Tanny commercials? Land ’o Goshen! The scantily-clad Vicki is running in the surf to jump'onto a boat, and the hills are alive! Looked to be a catfight under V.P.’s bikini... Watched The Birds lately and wondered what Hitchcock blonde Tippi Hedren’s been up to? She’s shedding husband Noel Marshall just as her daughter Melanie Griffith (Melanie? C’mon...) is wedding “actor” Rocky Bauer. They’re all actors, aren’t they?
Joan Collins of Dynasty, an unabashed sexpot well into her fourth.. .fifth? decade of life, will return as Alexis Carrington next season, while practically everybody else is killed off or sent to finishing school.. .but the sultry Brit siren’s marriage is a maybe. Meanwhile she’ll take the show’s hiatus to fly back to gin-and-tonic land to do a movie.
Former “Mama” Michelle Phillips went on the record in People as being less than approving of the new age Manias & Papas led by her former husband John Phillips and his daughter Mackenzie. “They have a lot to live up to,” sneered the lovely Miss M., who recently gave birth to a son, Austin Deveraux, by her b.f. Grainger Hines. Notice how on Saturday Night Live the Acadamy Awards were ridiculed for having Morgan Fairchild as a presenter, and featuring too many dumb songs? Our nominee for meaningless blonde singing dopey songs on a late night comedy show has to be SNL’s own yellow-haired crumpet Christine Ebersole. If she isn’t related to producer Dick Ebersole, then would somebody explain to us how her inane warbling keeps getting plopped into the middle of the often-funny comedic proceedings... with no explanation or redeeming quality? If we want Connie Stevens, we’ll watch reruns of Hawaiian Eye, no problem.
Neil Young revealed, on the Canuck Juno Awards telecast, that his Human Highway will finally be released “at the end of the summer,”—August, no doubt. The well-known Canadian was at Toronto’s Harbour Castle Hilton to pick up his “Hall of Fame” award...
