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THE HISTORY OF VAN HALEN

Complete with excuses.

May 2, 1982
J. Kordosh

Important background info:

NETHERLANDS, THE, constitutional monarchy of Europe, also known popularly but unofficially as Holland. The Netherlands is one of the so-called “Low Countries.” Everybody guess why!

—Funk & Wagnalls & Me

A small country, forced to live by its wits... because of its tolerance for unorthodox opinions, a haven for intellectuals. What we’ve got here is one wimpy country.

— Carl Sagan in Cosmos. Reading between the lines courtesy of the author.

My mom wanted us in the U.S. and out of Holland—she was afraid we’d get into music...

— Eddie Van Halen, Guitar Player,

April, 1980.

Your mother should know.

—Paul McCartney, world’s most successful musician.

☆ ☆ ☆

Eyebrow-raising true story:

1955: The year that spawned Van Halen. Literally. Well, everybody except Ed, but he’s just the guitar player.

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