CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

by Robert Christgau

BLACK FLAG: Damaged (SST):: Although the B side drags more painfully than I bet was intended, this is powerful stuff. Greg Ginn is the greatest noise guitarist since Johnny Thunders, new, vocalist Henry Rollins can snarl along any tortured contour they serve up, andRise Above,Six Pack, and the uproariousTV Party prove they can write songs as well as gnash fragments. Inspirational Verse: f| wanna live/I wish I was dead.

A-

THE BLASTERS (Slash):: One reason the originals work, better than the covers is that Phil Alvins blues-tinged moan, while easily the most expressive vocal style in all of nouveau rockabilly, does sound pinched sometimes, so that even when you dont know the source recording (which you probably dont) you can imagine it fuller. The other reason is that Dave Alvins originals introduce a major songwriter, with John Fogertys bead on the wound-tight good times of Americas tough white underbelly, though his focus is shallower, sexual rather than spiritual. The band plays—and Phil sings—with comparable fervor.

A-

BOW WOW WOW: See Jungle! See Jungle! Go Join Your Gang Yeah! City All Over, Go Ape Crazy (RCA Victor):: You dont play Afrobeats with a surf bands chops—what makes real African music captivating is a tonal range so subtle it creates little hooks among the poly-rhythms. Yet a lot of this transcends its own klutziness. M. McLarens propagandistic conceits are so outrageous theyre comical, especially in a little samba calledHello, Hello Daddy (Ill Sacrifice You) ("Eat the heart of my kith and kin!/Thats what Im interested in!). And the good-legged adolescent grace and vivacity of the wondrous Annabella touch my heart every time she opens her mouth.

B +

DAVID BYRNE: Songs From The Broadway Production Off The Catherine Wheel (Sire):: Byrnes take on the rhythms of Africa is even more perilous for imitators than Coltranes on the mysteries of the Orient, but this surprisingly apt translation-todisc of his Twyla Tharp soundtrack proves his patent is worth the plastic its imprinted on. The magics all in Byrnes synthesis of the way drums talk and the way Americans talk—and I mean .middle Americans, not Afro-Americans. Beset by contingencies they cant make sense of, his protagonistic twists from one side to the other yet somehow emerge from the end of the tunnel with their wills intact. Must have to do with that unnatural rhythm.

A-

CARRY ON OI! (Secret import):: I dont claim to get all the words, but between bands like the Partisans and Red Alert and Garry Bushells compassionate fictionalized notes I think this compilation gives the lie to the liberal nazi-baiting the styles subjected to. And the way one band after another emits virtually indistinguishable bellows to jolly rage is mutually reinforcing—gives you the sense that all that enthusiasm adds up to a movement. But the songs really are hard to tell apart. And the recitations and pub-sing laffs that tie it all together wear thin even faster than most concept moves.

B

A CHRISTMAS RECORD (ZE import):: Most of this oddly ambitious nine-song anthology seems a little off, but that suits its odd ambitions, which is seeking the spirit in an audience turned off by seasonal shtick. Was (Not Was) and Alan Vega take on involuntary and semi-voluntary poverty, the Waitresses aim for the singles bars, and Davitt Sigerton (sure he writes for my paper, wanna make something of it?) should by all rights be earning royalties up there with Irving Berlin—or at least TormeWells, or Davis-Onorati-Simeone.

B +

EARTH, WIND & FIRE: Raise! (Columbia) :: As long as they hew to a few simple rules—up on the tempos, down on the bullshit, etc A— theres no reason why these fellows cant turn their sparkling harmonies and powerful groove into a pure, contentless celebration of virtuosity. I mean once a year—at least in theory. But this is the first time the possibilitys ever even occurred to me, which must mean they felt a show of strength was due. Dont bet on the follow-up.

A*

THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT (Posh Boy cassette):: A much more impressive L.A. sampler than Slashs Decline Of Western Civilization, this compiles 25 titles from 10 hardcore bands, all of whom manage to add an extra pinch of meaning or quantum of rush to the basic yowl. Faves: the Minutemen, named for their preferred song length and given to unpunky little guitar squiggles, the Descendents 11-secondDer Wienerschnitzel (hows that again?), Social DistortionsPlaypen, and of course Black Flag. List price: $5.98.

B +

THE J.GEILS BAND: Freeze-Frame (EMI America):: For me, their best since Monkey Island if not the debut divides neatly into three groups of three: slick get-em-off trash (hit single plus two music-as-escape songs), slick get-me-off trash (opener, closer, andAngel In Blue, a whore with a heart of brass that Im just a sucker for), and slick get-offa-me trash (two throwaways at the end of side one plusRiver Blindness, a more pretentious try atMonkey Island, that albums sole burnout). You might draw different distinctions, and if youre discovering the great audience these days this elpee might even change your life for a month. But I guarantee you it didnt change the bands.

B +

JERRY HARRISON: The Red And The Black (Sire):: Though the polyrhythms degenerate at times into steamy clutter, Harrison comes up with keyboard hooks Id like to hear elsewhere; I recommendSlink to G. Clinton Assoc. But Jerry should keep his teeth clenched at all times. Bright enough not to try to carry a tune or anything, he apparently hasnt figured out that the talky voiceovers he essays instead are the worst fad of the year—its as hard to avoid making them sound pompous or nagging or twerpy as it is, well, to sing.

C +

HUMAN SWITCHBOARD: Whos Landing In My Hangar? (Faulty Products):: Have rock and rollers ever reflected more matter-offactly on the travails of sexual commitment? Bet both Pfeiffer and Marcarian were raised up in the First Church of Humanity (Secular), because unlike Elvis II and the kids, for instance, they dont find much thrill in confessional—just get annoyed, pissed off, very pissed off, and insane with rage. Also unlike the aforementioned, they get lyrical, quite light and playful in fact, which adds charm to their organ-based garage style. Not many cool guys boasting about their girlfriendslooks these days.

A

THE JACKSONS: Live (Epic):: Quincy Jones marshalls subtler dynamics, and the only classic (?) that gets full treatment isBen, still a song that could make you hate rats. But both material and singer(s) are nevertheless live-er than youll ever be.

B +

KING CRIMSON: Discipline (Warner Bros./E,G.):: Its amazing how somebody who gabs as much as Robert Fripp gets fucked up by words. Maybe hes afraid to take on a real singer British rumor has it that the subject of Bill Wymans hit single "Je ", I Suis Un Rock Star is none other than Mick Jaggei/s former [. lipmate Bianca. '˜Youll note, grins gabby Bill,that in the sohg the girl is young enough to be the rock stars daughter 1 should think ^hat leaves Bianca safely out of the • running ' Catty Bill would have said more but it was time for his* nap...

TURN TO PAGE 65

FABBER FOUR: Word is that 12previously unbeard Beatle S tunes have been unearthed in the; U K , but whether they ever see the light of day depends on record company whim. Abbey Road J Studios—where the misbegotten f rqoptops recorded til their break-up—claimsabout 10 extra tunes, and EMI Records has ,f* another pair A probable single JNK release for 1982 or 83 will beLeave My Kitten Alone as sung by John Lennon, but beyond that plans are hazy. As corporate biggies have it, they dont want toundermine the creative output of the group... Uh-huh. |l

John Entwistle recently told a London reporter that the Who will soon break up, but what does he know?

Pant McCartneys new album is due in late March and called Tug O War, perhaps titled so due to . McCartneys reluctance to tour the States and CBSs reluctance to I release the disc until such a tour Ffi st single will be a collaboration with Stevie Wonder called,Ebony And Ivory, on1 the album will be Beatiea Ringo & George, Michael Jackson and CSrl Perkins. No word as to wholl be doing Linda's hair---.' ,

IT AINT THE MEAT. ITS THE PASTRAMI: As if the total flopdom of Meat Loaf s latest vinyl diatribe isnt enough, oT Meatballs been taking to cruising in the nude lately, w questionable results... Seems Meat and wife Leslie were staying at the posh U.N Plaza Hotel in ' ^ New York and were disturbed by neighbors who* wouldnt turn down

their music. Upon hearing his wife insulted, El Loaffo charged the room completely nude-o (with three friends!) and reportedly took on six guys—winding up with a black eye and other things youd rather not know about, you bet. We . still love ya, Meatboy!. |||

OTHER CELEBRITY NUDES: Everyones favorite tostada Joe King Carrasco recently unsheathed his royal crown jewels at a Go-Gos concert—but unjike everyone else who did it, His Majesty bared all onstage, while the nubile Gos performedDur Lips Are Sealed.They put me up to it, Carrasco claimed after the show, while drummer Gina Schock added:We whipped him and beat http three nights in a row until he agreed to do it. No truth to rumors that Joe edits Bondage Life in his spare time B®!

Jazz trumpeter Miles Davis—a winner in. this years CREEM , Reader Poll, for what its worth— Recently married actress Cicely Tyson...

Jan is Joplin sings again on the aptly titled Fareweti Songs, an anthology of tracks licensed to CBS from Joplins estate. Featuring liner notes by Country Joe McDonald—who wroteJanis for Joplin on Feet Like Im Fixin To tHe, among other things—the setll feature J.J backed by BisH Brother & TbeHolding Company (yay!), the Full Tilt Boogie Band and the Kozmic Blues Band, and a Todd Rundgren-produced back featuring Joplin with the Paul Butterfield Bluff f^nd. What

Over a thousand Black Sabbath fans rioted in the streets of Toronto following the bands first gig there in 10 years. Officials wouldnt let the Sabs return for an encore unless they handed oyer 10 thousands smackers inOvertime fees, and they didnt. We cant figure out where this riot part comes in, though...

Frank Zappas 14-year-old son Dweezil has put together a rock band in which he, like Daddy, plays lead guitar. Name of band will be Fred Zeppelin, yuk yuk. Note to Dweezil: the jar is under the bed...

AC/DC lugging around actual cannons to give the veritable 21-gun salute to fans of their latest, For Those About To Rock, We Salute You. Hopefully these cannons will be aimed at Angus Youngs kneecaps...

Title track of Dave Edmunds new LP, From Small Things, Great . Things Grow, has nothing to do with parts of JoeKing Carrascos body—in fact, said track was written for elfin Edmunds by Boss Bruce Springsteen, *' who presented it to, Edmunds during his recent British tour. Also included will be a cover of NRBQsMe And The Boys, as reported elsewhere in this ish... Albert Lee adds his guitar on a few tracks, too...

Blues belcher John May all has not packed it up due to late 60s accusations that his voice sounds just like Gomer Pyles!! Instead, hes reforming the Blues Breakers, with former Rolling Slone Mick Taylor and Fleetwood Macs John McVle, both who got their starts with porn-fan John,.'. Another former Blues Breaker/Fleetwood Maccer, Peter Green, has also been playing several gigs in London and doing quite well for himself, we Hear. Good news.., I;

Adam Ant is waging a court battle in England to ˜˜protect his image ... seems the formic acid king didnt want an unauthorized company to distribute a poster of him in hisPrince Charming persona. Cant blame you, Adam sweetie, that lipstick just doesnt work with that rhascara... Yawn...

The Clash should be starring in The Clash On Broadway this spring, a flick that features the quartet in NY and promises to be everything the very dull Rude Boy wasnt. Look for Joes teeth!

Hot San Franciscan band the Units are being produced by former BeBop Deluxe axeman Bill Nelson... Look for the album soon on 415 records. . V

Looks like the planned Albert Goldman bio of John Lennon may fall through due to some book company politics.

Incredible buzz through the industry that the revolutionary, new All Sports Band could well be the biggest thing to hit the music biz in a decade.These guys could be; bigger than the Beatles;^ claimed a marketing director familiar with the band!...

The flood of readers sending in snapshots of themselves continues at CREEM, and we for one are mortified...

Guitarist extraordinaire Robert Quine (the Voidoids, Lester Bangs) is adding his riffs to Lon Reed's new LP, The Blue Mask. Quine says the project is the best thing hes ever worked on, and thats saying a lot.. 1,

Neil Geraldo, famous Italian and Pat Benatars guitarist (is it love yet?), has been signed to Chrysalis as a record producer. First up will be the debut sob LP of John Waite, former Babys lead singer and postcard sender...

Gang Of FOOT was all set to record in New York with producers Nile Rogers and Bernard Edwards of Chic when a hand injury stopped em cold. Seems GOFer Andy Gill lost the use of two of his guitar-playing fingers after a scuffle at a Doctor Feelgood gig in London. Socialist doctors say the guitarist—-who cut two tendons in his wrist—might have lost his entire left hand had the bottle sliced any deeper. No word when sessions will resume...

Stevie Wonder recently entered his own studio with reggae-pop group Third World to record the hands next J^P. The album will include material composed by Wonder, and is set for a March release * The tentative title of Captain Beefhearts forthcoming LP is Ice Cream For Ctow, while the working title erf John Fogertys long-awaited second solo album is Hoodoo...A new 12-inch singlePump by the P-Funk Ml Starts features Sly Stone and George Clinton fronting Mothership members of the past and present.,. The Cars Hie Ocasek has entered a Boston studio to record his first solo LP, and Donald Fagen, onehalf of Steely Dan, is also preparing a solo disc for April release...The Clash, who recently completed their next LP at Electric Ladyland studios in New York, has financed some studio time for the Bush Tetras.

OH NO! Steve Walsh has left rock band Kansas, apparently to ? continue a solo career that began with his last album, called um., um . •

Good news: Van Morrison's latest album is due out by the time you read this; should be called Beautiful Vision and it better be great..

First the Dead Kennedys, then Reagan Youth, and now, from Phoenix; The Very Idea Of Fucking Hitler.. ,yuk, yuk, ughlBBj

Billy Joel has reportedly been signed to portray Bobby Darin in an upcoming flick based on the late singer. Coulda worked well the other way, too...

Rod Stewart recently stubbed his toe!! No big deal if youre like us, but if youre Rod, look out! A multi-million dollar insurance scare was averted, and the current U.S. tour non-eanceled, when Roddy regained the use of fiis foot thanks to massage and acupuncture treatments. Rod only missed two gigs.. and you didnt miss any//

Philip Norman, who wrote the critically-acclaimed Beatles biography. Shout, joined the Rolling Stones for the final days I of the bands American tour and will write a biography of the Stones for Simon & Schuster;.. Author Jerzy (Being There) Kosinshfs eighth novel, PinbaU, will feature a hero named Goddard, who becomes AmericasTbP rock star without ever revealing his face or true identity.

American Rock, £ weekly TV series, is currently ^production in New York, and will be broadcast next fall, either in syndication or on network TV. The show will follow abattle of the bands format, with amateur bands competing against each other in front of a live studio audience and rock star judges. Bands from major markets will be selected and eliminated tifter a lengthy screening process, and groups can become eligible by submitting tapes to a designated FM rock station located in their region. Meanwhile, An drew Soil and˜ Malcolm Leo who created the Elvis Presley bio-documentary, This Is Elvis, are preparing a weekly series based on their Heroes Of Rock 'N' Roll special, which was aired on ABC several years ago.

In The Studio

NEW YORK, NV-RCA Studios: Polyrock; Soundworks Recording Studios: Steely Dan, Harry Belafonte, John Denver; Regent Sound: the GratefulDead, the Marshall Tucker Band, Franke & the Knockouts; Blue Rock Studios: Nina Hagen; LOS ANGELES, CA—Warner Bros. Recording: I Paul Simon, Ry CopdW; Studio Sound Recorders: Smokey Robinson; SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Automatt: Gamma, Santana# Different Fur Recording: Sir Douglas Quintet; NASHVILLE, TN — Woodland Studios: Rosanne Cash, Oak Ridge Boys; Music City Music Hall: B.B. King; MONTSERRAT, BRITISH WEST INDIES—Air Studios: Elton John; I DETROIT, MlSuperdisc Studios: Retro; Superlycs: Alux, Bugs Bedow with Earl Klugh and Ralphe Armstrong, Ashanti, Sly Stone & I Bootsy Collins, Eddie Robinson, I Sam Sanders, the Bikinis, Max English, Brenda May Evans.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13

because he knows singers take over bands. So Adrian Belew, who between his David Byrne impressions and his John Wetton impressions and his man-in-the-studio candidmicrophone shtick damn near takes over anyway. Musically, not bad—the Heads meet the League of Gentlemen, although 1 wish the valiant Bill Bruford knew as much about rhythms as John Chernoff. But throw away that thesaurus.

B

THE KINKS: Give The People What They Want (Arista):: Hook-laden and hardrocking, this is the best-crafted Kinks album' in over a decade, which means that for someone whos found Ray Daviess world view increasingly mean-spirited and mush-brained, its also the biggest turnoff. Back when He was chairing the Village Green Preservation Society, Rays dotty lyricism put his nostalgia in appealing and appropriate musical perspective; his current clean-cut arena style makes him sound smug and strident, as well it should. Opening with a piece of radio pimpery in which a DJ becomes not just a benefactor (lie enough these days) but a hero of modern mythos, it moves on to songs about paranoids, battered wives, murderers, and dirty old men that reveal minimal charity for either side of the interactions they put down. Giveaways: the self-fulfillingPredictable and the misanthropic title tune.

C +

NEW YORK DOLLS: Lipstick Killers (ROIR cassette):: Nine great songs, three of them covers, including the previously unavailableDont Mess With Cupid. If I knew no other versions, Id recommend these 1972 demos, but as it is Johnny spunds tame,

doomed drummer Billy Murcia halting, Arthur out of tune (shocking!), and David perhaps halfway to the wit and assurance that brought this great band together. For instance historians only.

C +

RED ROCKERS: Conditions Red (415) :: After starting out as a tribute band called first Garageland and then White Riot (just a joke fellas, put those guns away please), these heavy New Orleans postpunks set themselves to writing anthems for the next American revolution, anthems Im sure would be more inevitable if the next American revolution were as simple and inevitable as they pretend. Sure theres ateenaged underground, but onlyGrow Up and .maybePeer Pressure dig beneath its surface. Time: 27:39.

B-

ROD STEWART: Tonight Im Yours (Warner Bros.):: This is not only a comeback but a speedup—sounds like he thinks Depeche Mode is the next Vanilla Fudge. These days theMandolin Wind man only sounds genuinely sensitive when his egos threatened—on the cuckoldedHow Long, not the icky-inspirationalNever Give Up On A Dream. And hes most convincing when he sounds really mad, on the cuckoldedJealous.

B +

Tom Tom Club (Sire):: Vaguely annoyed byWordy Rappinghoods arch, prolix postverbalism, I resisted this record until theGenius Of Love signature, already the basis of two rap covers, caught up with me at a club in Queens. Now I enjoy every cut, even the one with the radio transmission, a device 1 ordinarily regard as the worst permutation of the worst fad of the year. Between Tina Weymouths childish singsong and the consistently playful pulse, the best kiddie funk since Motor-Booty Affair.

A-

Reprint courtesy of The Village Voice