Confessions of a FILM FOX

Confessions of a FILM FOX

Lucky Leif Garrett has finally shot up to six foot one...lucky, because now the human ferret can star opposite his teen crush Bubbling Brooke (formerly Panty) Shields. The lanky jailbait is close to six feet herself, so her leading men have to be treelike just to get within a yard of the Shields Kisser... Marianne Faithfull can be heard warbling the theme to Montenegro, starring Snsan Anspach and set in sunless Sweden...

Looks like Pirate Annie, the film starring Bo Bo Derek blabbed about last ish, has been canned by CBS-TV due to artistic differences. Don't fret, Bo—get wet!.. .•

Despite his straight acting job in Martin Scorceses King Of Comedy, Jerry Lewis protests, I don't want to be in competition with Richard Burton. No problem, Jer: Richards never come close to getting the rave review Hardly Working got in CREEM yea these many months ago.

Glad We Didnt Say It: John Wayne is somebody to look up to, and Elvis Presley is someone to look up to... opined blond bombshell John Bo Duke Schneider. John plans to sing like the Duke and act like the King.. .err, switch that last part. Andy Kaufman recently announced, to worldwide apathy, that he is not marrying the born-again Kathie Sullivan, as hed announced on the premiere of Fridays, kicking off one of his more tedious set of is-it-real? routines. Andy just wont go away... Speaking of rice and orange blossom time, can we finally. ..dare we say it?.. .that Bebe Buell has tied the knot with the vivacious Richard Butler of the Psychedelic Furs? That Richard fits Bebes height requirements to a tee (vide Costello) etc., etc., etc.? And that we wish them the ginchiest?

Fox doesnt want to delay a minute longer: Our award for the Most Effortless Stoopidity And General All Around Bovinity Of Mind goes to our faves Audrey and Judy Landers. Said Audrey recently, One of the great things is the audience response...its so nice... they give us a good response... and theyre.happy.. .so were happy... (giggle)" Theyre women, hear them roar...

Strong rumblings that Karla DeVito, who sang with behemoth Meat Loaf before striking out on her own with LP Is This A Cool World Or What?, will star in Robert Stigwoods $20 million epic-to-be Euita. No truth to the rumors that former partner Mr. Loaf will play hubby Juan Peron, though casting as the entire country of Argentina is a possibility...

Where Margot Kidder goes Dan Aykroyd is sure to follow... and despite what the two canny back bacon aficionados protest, they appear to be closer than two fingers dipped in crazy glue. A permanent merger could be in the cards, as an alliance with the sultry Margot would keep the Aykroyd line Canadien pure, shall we say... Another flash of Aykroydism: Dapper Dan Aykroyd has netted a cool $1.25 million for his starring role in the upcoming Detroit Abe flick, which only goes to show you that youll never make as much money as he does. That absolute rogue...

Attention Guys: Tatum ONeal is on the loose! Finally 18, totallylegal Tatum has split Pappy Ryans pad and has found her own! And if thats not enough, sites now legally entitled, to over a million smackers that were invested as savings bonds for her! The line forms in Santa Monica!...

Lesley Hornsby—known to commoners and coroners as Twiggy—now set to star in Funny Face, which, dear readers, seems entirely appropriate, don't you think?...

Sylvester Stallone apparently having trouble gaining weight for the third-and-final Rocky flick, Rocky III... But then everybody told him hed never be another Brando, so whats he complaining about?...

Former rock stars, present bozos the Hudson Brothers making their debut so successfully with Hysterical that theyve been further signed for a three picture deal. In the words of many:

whoop-te-do. Go marry some more important people, guys... And that would appear to be all the news your Fox can gather at the moment, dear readers... Now turn on the TV!!..Bye!