THE ABC’S OF ZZ TOP

A couple of months ago, one of the editors noticed that the typeface on my typewriter looks like a computer print-out. I guess I might as well confess: my stuff is a computer print-out. Heres the way it works: I go talk with/listen to/lend five bucks to some musicians, then I come home and talk to the computer, which then writes up the story.

Now this is a pretty good deal—as you might guess—since I dont have to do much of anything except give old Brainiac reliable data. One of the drawbacks, though, is that I never know quite what to expect. Sometimes he seems real nice and writes pretty straightforward stuff. Then, all of a sudden, hell turn vicious, cranking out vitriolic Beat Goes On articles like crazy. I think it has something to do with brown-outs, but Ive nevqr pinned it down exactly. Anyway, this time I saw ZZ Top and come home to tell the computer all about it.

Whod you see this time, J.? he asked.

ZZ Top, Mr. Computer. I got to go to Wichita. Thats in Kansas, I added, slipping the interview tape and notes into his info-maw.

I know where Wichita is, J., he replied in his condescending tone. Im a computer. Why dont they ever let you go to New York or L. A.?

Gee, I dunno, Mr. Computer. Why dont you write it into the story and maybe they will, huh?

Hey, I might just do that. Bet they edit it, though. And listen—try to get the next AC/DC article, will you?

How come, Mr. C.? I dont like AC/DC. Do you?

Think about it, J., think about it. Now get lost for awhile so I can write this thing. Come back in about 30 seconds, OK?

OK. Are you going to make it funny?

Listen, you want funny, rent Johnsons computer. Im going to write an encyclopedia, J.

Youre kidding, oily. An encyclopedia?

Look it up, kid, Im busy.

A

A is for Bob Alford, cool CREEM contributor and ZZs photog friend. Bob shot the cover of the lil ole bands new LP, ' El Loco, and helped set up the interview. He also skipped town before I had the faintest idea of where I was going to meet ZZ Top, what planes I had to catch, which park bench Id be sleeping on, etc. Thanks, Bob.

A is also for ambition. Billy Gibbons, ZZs picker plus, puts it this way: Id like to hold on. What my mind hears is just now becoming accessible. And you can just now walk into a music store and pick up the kind of hardware thats necessary to create it.

photos by

And what would A be if not for audience? We took those three years off that time and when we came back we noticed that we had a lot of people who came and had seen us before. We also had a lot of young people who obviously didnt see us _before. It depends on where you are in the states. But we do have a lot more young people. said Dusty Hill. Its true. I saw it myself.

B

B is for Frank Beard, ZZs drummer. Frank is distinguished by being the only guy in the group \X/ith a short beard, despite his name. What if you were accused of being a straightforward 4/4 Charlie Watts-type drummer? I accused him. Frank shrugged. Ive always said I dont know but three beats: the shuffle, the cut shuffle, and the monkey beat.

Hes got em down, Dusty chipped in.

Added Frank: I would come up onstage and listen a little .closer. I mean, theres only so much you can hear in a concert hall. You have to make some concessions—to get this sound you cant get 'that sound, if you know what I mean.

Since its my business to know what he means, you know I know what he means. Franks a great guy; he spent most of the night after the show playing one of those space invader games.

C

C is for compliments. I consider that a compliment, that Charlie Watts thing, Billy Gibbons told me. I meant it as a compliment, I said. C is also for congeniality.

D

D is for disco, oddly enough. Two reasons: we discussed the much-discussed ZZ vanishing act of the late 70s and Dusty said: The time off let us air our heads out. Besides, there was disco back then, which made us want to come back and play rock n roll. We hated it,

So after the show, what do we do? Go to a disco to get drunk, of course. Dusty and I started getting pretty annoyed at the pud and I said, Look, Im gonna tell that guy to play some real music. Whatll it be? It turned out that were both big Beatles fans, so thats what I asked for. Or demanded, I forget; there was a lotta Coors in me about then. Gosh, readers, whaddya think he played? Blue Jay Way? Glass Onion? Stars On 45?!

E

El Loco, naturally. How do the guys feel about it? Im digging it, Billy reported. I think its the best thing weve done yet, Dusty said. 'Leila was a big step for us and I think weve marched on with another big one.

'Leila was a radical departure from anything anybody thought ZZ Top would do, Billy continued. We thought about it and we said, 'Well, what now? Is this gonna work? We all liked it—it was very different, but you gotta try a few things that are a little bit different and maybe a little bit unsound.

F

Lets make F be fbr Fandango, ZZs mid70s monster that sold a trillion copies and stayed on the charts for a presidential term or so. History counts for something.

I happen to look like Rod Stewart underneath all this: —Billy Gibbons

G

Billy Gibbons, natch. Billy and Dusty are fashionable rockers what with their eightinch long beards and baggy work clothes. However, this boy be one of Americas best guitarists, too. Just before they went on I noticed he was holding what I presumed was a mandolin. Upon closer inspection, however, I discovered it was actually an incredibly teeny guitar that had been washed once too often. 1 mean, the thing was about as long as a True Menthol 100. 01 Billy not only played it on the opening number, he played it well. Now thats

Texas-sized talent. I never saw what happened to the guitar, but he probably left it in an ashtray.

H

H is for Dusty Hill, bassist and Beatle fan. Were obviously not psychologists, he said. But we draw an awful lot of guys who identify with the music. 1 think were no threat to them, were something to identify with. I think they might be psychologists.

H is also for Bill Ham, ZZs manager and producer. I need one great quote from you, I told him. Any quote I give you will be great, said the affable, tall Texan. I guess that makes H for hallelujah, too.

I

I is for image. Stage image, to be precise. One of the editors opined that ZZ Top might be the biggest band in the world (or something like that) if just one of the guys looked like, oh, Paul McCartney. I asked em what they thought about it.

After some thought, Billy finally said: Youre fucking right. I happen to look like Rod Stewart. Underneath all this, he laughed, fingering his beard.

Later on, Dusty amplified on the image question. I dont think we look like the mask of death. But people in show business have always strived, when theyre on that stage—theyve got to look like something those people in the audience would like to look like. And that kind of thinking—in my opinion, Im not knocking anybody—is looking down at the people. Its not a good way to think, in my opinion. We quit wearing Western things because, to be honest, everybody else in the world started doing it. Its been that way for years and years and years in show business. But when you get into the attitude that you think everybody out there aspires to be you,thats a bad way of thinking. And that probably has a lot to do with the self-destructiveness of people, cause they cant live up to their own expectations when they get off the stage. I look better off the stage than on.

I is also for integrity.

1

J is for jaws. No one i9 certain if ZZ Top has them.

TURN TO PAGE 61

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 21

K

K is for Kansas—the band, not the state. The kid who drove me from the airport to the arena told me that only , two or three guys in Kansas are actually from Kansas. I was so shaken that I made him pull over to get some Coors. Imagine that!

L

L is for the Lone Star Homs, who consist of the versatile ZZ Top themselves. Oh, they were late for the gig, Billy confided. They were supposed to be here tonight.

M

M is for marriage. Seeing how the guys are all in their 30s, I figured they were probably married, but they said they werent. You mean not married? None of you? I asked.

Well, John, nobody will seem to have us, a chastised Billy said. Actually, Dusty is married, but his wife is so damned beautiful it just didnt make any sense, so we cant grasp it.

Im married, but I dont talk about it that much, Dusty said. Well, I guess I dont know if theyre married or not.

N

N is for new bands. Billy was talking about the acoustics in the arena and said: I love to play these rooms where you can hear what youre doing. Were very serious about playing. And thats where I think a lot of bands today are missing the boat.

Howso? I asked.

Theyre not really concerned with playing with the feel of what this thing is all about. Its not saying , im gonna play 15 scales perfectly, he said in mincing English tones. I mean, you can get up there and not even hold the guitar—its just that attitude.

O

And O is for other guitarists. What other guitarists do you like? I asked the inimitable Mr. Gibbons.

Uh...Doug Sahm. There followed an incredibly long pause.

Well, that wraps that up, I said. Do you like Eddie Van Halen?

Uh huh. Yep. Anybody that plays with one knob. I dig it. Thats all you need—on and off , and all the points in between.

P

P is always for producers in the music business. We recalled the early days of rock, before they got their sticky fingers into the pie.

Looking back at Little Richard, say— here was a guy who was so natural he didnt even need a producer, Billy offered. In fact, there wasnt even such a thing as a producer. But, as young America responded to raw honesty they began buying a product, creating an interest by unconcerned individuals who decided to adopt that tag—'producer.

Q

Q is for quotes. Heres a quote: ZZ Top...the name...sounds French or nouveau riche. Billy said that; hes probably right.

R

R is for records, and records are what ZZ Top makes. In marked contrast to most bands, however, ZZ Top actually makes pretty good records.

S

S is my favorite because it stands for silly questions. I gave Dusty two in rapid succession:

How do you react to being called a second-generation Grand Funk?

I dont know!

Why do you talk to writers?

I dont know!

Silly questions are fun for just about everyone. Can you think of any silly questions?

T

T is for Texas, pardners, not to mention Tejas. ZZ Top like Texas, but are almost certainly native Vermonters.

U

U stands for understanding; in this case, understanding your fellow musicians. I listen to those two, Billy said, indicating Frank and Dusty. As musicians, they both have—for years—shared with me the thought that even in a trio, where its so restricted, if you listen you can play off one another and create that spark. I will pass this along to Rush, by the way.

V

For Van Halen, gosh darn it. I forgot to mention that ZZ Top thinks Ed V.H. is OK since hes married to Ms. Bertinelli. Hey, at least its a reason.

W

W is for whats-it-all-about. Frankly, ZZ Top is sort of a unique American band on a lot Of levels. I dont see where you guys fit in at all, I said to Billy. I dont either! he cheerfully replied.

X

The name of a fairly popular rock group from Los Angeles who show little or no ZZ Top influence and are to Billy Gibbons what I am to Franz Kafka.

Y

Y is for young. Ive already mentioned that a lot of ZZs audience that night were youthful, but I didnt mention that I talked with one guy for about 15 minutes to see why he likes ZZ Top enough to pay nine-and-a-half bucks to see em. The guy was unable to give me even one coherent reason—and I mean going down to I like the beat, or What do you expect, I live in Kansas? No reason is a good reason, especially if youre 18 years old.

Z

Wow, this ones tough. Lets say it stands for ZZ Top, and let Billy describe the guys: Doc Holiday Meets The Beast Of Saturn. Somebody said that. Nice guys, great band, good show. I said that.