No! Please! Don't squeeze me through this sewer grating with that rubber mallet! Look, I know you're sick of that song—I am too—but please, think this through! Without me there wouldn't be a "Marty Feldman's Eyes," and no references to Bonnie Tyler for a coupla years! Just because you'll be hearing that record on oldie goldie radio shows for the rest of your lives is no reason to be mad at me! Honest!

Huh? It's not a rubber mallet?

It's a pitcher of water?!

Oh, you guys at CREEM!!...