Finally, A Use For Cake Fear
There’s something about the Richard Simmons Show that makes repeated exposure to it about as attractive as cheating death or selling combs to minors. Is it the host, who possesses a personal magnetism ranking just slightly below that of a relocated witness?
Finally, A Use For Cake Fear
CREEMEDIA
THE RICHARD SIMMONS SHOW (Syndicated)
NEVER SAY DIET by Richard Simmons (Warner Books)
Rick Johnson
There’s something about the Richard Simmons Show that makes repeated exposure to it about as attractive as cheating death or selling combs to minors. Is it the host, who possesses a personal magnetism ranking just slightly below that of a relocated witness? Could it be the studio audience, a mass of grounded airships in tights rolling around on the floor like waterbeds stuffed with mittens? Or is it merely the stench of fake affection that rises from Richard and the gathered oinkers?
It’s all that and more. Of course, Simmons personally is the main crime against the senses. An ex-blob himself, Richard is now proud of his small, Gumbylike body clad in running outfits seven sizes too big. You’d probably be able to hear his stretch marks hollering “Uncle!” if it wasn’t for his wimpy/crawly voice, which sounds like Lassie whining through a kazoo.