"My feelings are hurt!" sniffed Divine. "You dopes adored me in Pink Flamingos, hailed me as 'the new Garbo' in Female Trouble, and you'll positively drool over me in my new film Polyester. But did you jerks invite me to be the CREEM DREEM!?! Nooo!! You were too busy with Grace Jones, Nina Hagen, Siouxsie Sioux and that twit David Lee Roth! My day has come—I'm the World's Most Beautiful Woman! And as your new Queen, I can do, say and have anything I want!

"Now on your knees, readers...and crawl forward !"