Beat Me Blockheads, Straight To The Bar
Ian Dury is to ugliness what Alan Alda is to blabbermouths. He has an ugly face (and how!). He has an ugly body (say it again!). And he has lots and lots of ugly ideas. Tale a look at this guy. That's enough. 01' Pegleg is constructed like a heap of mismatched donor organs held together conceptually by an oversized noggin bearing a vice cop's suspicious leer and the soulful eyes of a Skid Row bar dog.
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Beat Me Blockheads, Straight To The Bar
IAN DURY & THE BLOCKHEADS Laughter (Stiff)
by Rick Johnson
Ian Dury is to ugliness what Alan Alda is to blabbermouths. He has an ugly face (and how!). He has an ugly body (say it again!). And he has lots and lots of ugly ideas.
Tale a look at this guy. That's enough. 01' Pegleg is constructed like a heap of mismatched donor organs held together conceptually by an oversized noggin bearing a vice cop's suspicious leer and the soulful eyes of a Skid Row bar dog. A face designed by some higher power (Huntz Hall?) to demonstrate correct usage of the word mug.
But as defrocked plastic surgeon R. Meltzer once pointed out, 'a bigger mug is a great idea in rock 'n' roll as well as booze.' Speaking of these two popular leisure pursuits, ol' clip-clop has virtually cornered the market in great drinking songs. His tunes bebop-grovel for you to wail along, especially if you're moments away from requiring some one to hold your head up while you perform impressions of John Bonham.
Take 'Uncoolohol,' for example, surely the greatest juiqe howl since 'I Am Woman.' While the band provides a solid base of mechanized bedsprings, Dury stumbles engagingly through every K.T.S. (known to sots) yakyak in the Bartender's Redbook, including the rare 'puke 'n' bile/kinda style' couplet. But how he missed the internal rhyme of puke/Dubuque, I'll never know.
Consumer Service Dept.: In case you're wondering what are the two song titles that were blacked out by military censors at CBS, gander on. The S-hole referred to in 'S_'s Big Sister' has to be SUPERMAN. Probably, they wanted to hush it up and avoid getting sued for debasement of trademark, but SUPERMAN is what they say, no doubt! whatsoever, and I am willing to testify under oath that SUPERMAN (not Grease of Greece) is the word with itent to defile.
The other one is easier: 'F_ng Ada.' Alright, let's spin that Wheel Of Fortune, Pablo! Just a minute, I'd like to buy a vowel. Okay, I know I know, 'Fermenting Ada.' BZZT! Wrongo, Reek! Meredith, do you want to try it? 'Sure, Chuck. It's gotta be 'Fondueing Ada.' BZZZT! Wrong answer! That leaves it up to you—-Bernice Whitall from Fort Potato, Idaho! Uh...'Fishing Ada'?' BZZT! Wrong again, blockheads! Let's hear it from the studio audience—'FUTTOCKING ADA!' Ding, ding, ding!
Other progressive uses of the English language include 'stick your finger up your nose and paint your money blue,' 'decapitated schoolboys' heads,' 'stains on the quilt,' 'the mind is a precious flower' and the beloved 'I am an actual train.' Talk about trouble ahead!
If you're one of those cases of 'why-can't-Donna-Read?', you'll want to know that 11 of the 12 cuts (.917!) contain the Blockhead diagrammatic dancebeat rhythm section and a bunch more of Dury's filthy dribble powpows. Also, the strings on two cuts aren't technically sickening.
