MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to: MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064 Birmingham, Ml 4801*2

STARTLING NEW CONCEPT!

Dear CREEM;

ENCLOSED IS A PICTURE OF THE LATEST CRAZE!!! DANNY THOMAS AND THE CLASH! DIG THE FABNESS! From Ah Existor named Michael S. Rpyal Oak, MI

SOMEMUTANTS NEVER GROW UP!

Did I ever tell you about the time I slept with Bebe Buell?

In the summer of 79, three days before leaving for Manhattan for my yearly Big Apple,trek, I got a tip on a horse. 1 had about $700 saved, and trusting the “in” I had at the track, figured I’d drop a hundred on the nose of the nag. If I was Ukrainian I probably would have bet the whole wad, but I’m Polish so I decided to play it safe. Approaching the betting window 1 started having second thoughts about whether the pony could actually win, so l put my C-note on her to place. I jumped up & down when the fucker placed at 18 to 1 odds, paying 13.60. Now I’d be going to the Big City with dose to 1300 bucks. I was Afro-American rich.

It was a hot sunny day as I checked into the Taft Hotel on 50th, and acting the devil-may-care .sophisticate, I tipped the Mexican bellboy a ten. Fuck it, for the next seven days I was a shooter. After a hot shower, a wet shave & an electric shave, I was ready to hit the street.

Swallowing 10 milligrams of Valium as I left the hotel, I crossed Seventh Avenue & went into “Hero City,” a cocktail bar deli-dive. I needed a drink to plan my evening, and I was curious to see if Mike, the Irish bartender I’d met a year earlier; still worked there. He didn’t. In fact, he was shot to death by Jewish thugs who insisted he served them drinksln “dirty glasses.” Such is life.

As I sat quietly sipping my chablis, I noticed a stunning young femme at the end of the bar. She was wearing a tight black dress, and kept looking at her watch between gulps of some lethal looking drug.

Then the Valium kicked in.

Now I was Manhattan cool. I couldn’t help

staring at those smooth shoulders, those mysterious eyes, her pert breasts and slightly disheveled “fuck me” hair-do. I had the bartender send her a drink. She smiled and toasted me from across the bar. I toasted back, counted to 10 and walked over to her.

“You’re quite a beauty, and I guess your watch is too, the way you’ve been looking at it.”

The Valium & chablis kept me cool and suave. She smiled, then became angry.

“Mick was supposed to pick me up here over two hotirsago. Fuck him. That limey asshole.” She was livid,

was “Relax. Let me get us another drink. This Mick character obviously doesn’t appreciate gorgeous females. Would you like a Valium?”

“Yes.”

Twenty minutes later we were talking & laughing like high school sweethearts. And it seemed she had really forgotten this Mick fellow.

“God, I really feel like partying tonight,” she purred, “and I know where we can get some dynamite coke.”

“Great. Where?”

She started giggling and" patted her purse. I thought the best place to have our party would be across the street in my roorh at the Taft.

my I ate another 10 milligrams.

Her cocaine was definitely the best I ever had, and she laid out lines as big as pencils.

“I love drugs,” she said as she planted a wet kiss on my neck. The first hour we alternated between kissing, snorting and petting.

The next two hours we fucked.

Later, as we smoked cigarettes, I became curious.

“ Whaf s your name?” I asked.

“Bebe. Bebe Buell.”

“That’s a very nice name,” I said, putting out my cigarette & getting another erection.

Only in America.

Only in New York.

Not Guilty,

Arthur Lyszczyk

Lyszczyk Hamtramck, Michigan

Michigan (What’d she say when you took the paper bag off pour head, Art?—Ed.)

SINATRA VS. CLASH!

On behalf of all the Frank Sinatra Fans who read your ipag, I would like to thank you for including a review of Trilogy in your July isssue. OF Blue Eyes is a Truly Great Entertainer and deserves more attention in CREEM. The Clash are nice English boys, but can they play “Melancholy Baby”?

Yours truly,

Mack The Knife

Atlantic City, NJ

P.S. Hi Liz!

MURJANI-ON-THE-SPOT!!

After five years of pretty faithful readership, I break my silence at last! Something finally prompted me to write. Something I find bewildering and slightly nauseating. I refer to the Blondie for Gloria Vanderbilt jeans commercial, the likes of which has recently hit the TV screen. Aw, Debbie, why’d ya do it??? I guess we should have been forewarned by the movie with Meat Loaf, but a DESIGNER JEAN COMMERCIAL??? I can’t think of a worse way to sell out! I have nothing personal against Gloria V. (except perhaps ner teeth), but if Debbie feels the need to sell pants, why not design her own? Couldn’t you just see Blondie Jeans? Sleek, French-cut, pastel colors.. .“Blondie is a pair of pants.” Whatta great ad campaign!

Hmmm. Maybe rockers SHOULD get into designing jeans. People could wear the jeans of their favorite artiste. (I’m getting tired of rock t-shirts.) I don’t know about you all, but I have a fear and hatred of Big Name Designer Jeans that borders on the/psychotic. Like I must be restrained from committing acts of violence against these items, ^specially large Quantities of them—rather a problem in department stores. However, I might consider wearing...ugh...oh, say...Clash Jeans!!! Right!!! Heavy-duty riveted jeans in basic.black, white, red or olive solids (contrasting piping optional). Each pair distinctly branded above the right hip pocket with a small embroidered gun!!! Suggested retail price would be an affordable $11.98 or thereabouts, so everyone’s conscience is clear and we-the-people wouldn’t get ripped off. SURE, they’d sell!!

Let’s see, who else? Oh, maybe the Grateful Dead would even put out a pre-faded, pre-frayed jean so their fans could flaunt that mellow look. Devo jeans would be of sturdy plastic in rich industrial hues. B-52 Jeans—stretch pants, complete with “stirrups” to hold ’em down, for that unmistakable early 60’s look. How about a limited edition Sid Vicious Memorial Jean,which self-destructs as you wear it? Okay, okay— enough already. A damned good idea, though. Anyone williqgto put up the capital necessary for this enterprise should contact me, for a possible partnership in heading distribution. The jeans would only be sold in the finest record stores, of course.

But this whole mess started as a complaint, right? (I do tend to get side-tracked.) Aw, Debbie, why’d ya do do what ya did? Let’s hope it tvas temporary insanity and that it NEVER happens again . Please don’t do a Tickle deodorant commercial or anything!

Hmmm. I wonder if Gloria Vanderbilt is considering fronting a band, with Bobby Short on keyboards...

Semi-sincerely ‘

Em. J. Zee Flushing, NY

(... And Arnold Stangon guitar?—Ed.) \

WHADDYA EXPECT FOR $1.25?

April’79 Issue Page 20:

Article entitled “The Agonies of XTC”

July ’80 Issue Page 18:

Article entitled “The Agony Of Being XTC”

I assume the next one will be called “XTC’s Agonies”

Can’t Wait Lou Reed New York, NY'

READYFORMORE!

WHAM! Well, there’s .another one. That’s the fourth HM fan that walked into the outside of my house today. This one thought my house was a subway station. Another manifestation of the Van Halen syndrome, as described in the August ’80 issue. With all these HM zombies around, life really sucks, especially since punk has di... WAITAMINNIT! UNO MOMENTO!

What am I saying? Punk hasn’t died!! I guess I’m reading toomany letters from anti-punk buttcranks in yer mag!!! Even some loyal punks have given up punk for dead! This be not so! Notice :, 9

1) What’s wrong with the nu Ramones and Clash albums? Besides absolutely waffle strings and brass onna few cuts, methinks they’re both purty cool albums.

2) The Dead Boys and the Damned have re-formed (using the term loosely), and when a Damned album gets released stateside, I’m sure it’s gonna be declared a national holiday.

._3) WHATTABOUT: 999, the Buzzcocks, the Dickies, the Members, Slaughter, Skafish, the Germs, the Crowd, the Simpletones, Rik L Rik, Stiff Little Fingers, Generation X, the Rotters, the Swingers, the Flyboys, the Lurkers, the Subs, Propaganda, ‘•X-Ray Spex, Buzz Barker & Atomic Bums, DMZ, the Zeros, Sham 69, ad infinitum?

Let’s face it, punk is alive and kicking. (Spitting, Puking, Tearing, etc.) Just because ya have. to use infrared tracking devices to find albums of these guys, that doesn’t mean they’re dead!! Having the Gang of Fouf & the-Cramps in the latest issue hasta mean sumpin 1 If you still believe that punk is a mouldy corpse, go dig out your Danny & the Juniors records and play “Rock and Roll Is Here To Stay” until both of your hunting dogs die!

Purple Hi-tops Are In

NOB

Green Bay, WI (home of the MINORS!!!)

P.S. Where are the Saints, Boys & Vibrators when we need’em???

P.P.S. About Canada: All I kin say is that whenever I find CBC-AM (Vancouver) I hear the Pistols, Ramones, etc. So I ain’t sayin’ NUTHIN’. (You said it, we didn’t.—Ed.)

CALIFORNIA FEVERISH!!

All of you people out east have a slightly deranged idea of what people are like in California. I can’t blame you, seeing that we are represented as a bunch of skateboarding blond beach bums on TV and in the media. But I’ll let you in a jittle secret: The majority of the people living out here are a bunch of turds that MOVED here from out east of the Rocky mountains! If isn’t so bad that people move out here, it’s just that ' when they live here they put “I LOVE-NY” bumperstickers on their cars, and act so smug when the weather gets cold, saying, “If you think this is cold, you should see the snowdrifts in Vermont...” WHO GIVES A SHIT! What I am trying to say is that all of youassholes living east of the California border just STAY THE FUCK IN YOUR OWN PART OF THE COUNTRY! VACATION IN FLORIDA! Just LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE! Do you understand?

Now I realize that you’ll probably write me off as some California stereotype and fold this into an airplane and fly it into the trash can, but just understand this—I think you have a fairly decent magazine. You’re cynical, raunchy and crude— and I think you are A WWLRAT!

It wasn’t me

BBRRAANNDD XX

Whittier, CA

(Yeah, but coming from a skateboarding blond beach bum, what’s that mean?—Ed.)

INTELLIGENT ANALYSIS!!

These people are obviously very intelligent dnd have good taste in music:

‘Jared Janes, Royal Oak, MI, March 1980 issue. * i

‘Robert J. Moorehouse, Brooklyn, NY, April 1980 issue

‘Oosker Bellay Foonty, Roland Heights, CA,

April 1980 issue y

‘David Burt, Woodland Park, CO, April 1980 issue

Why are these people intelligent? Because »

they hate the Clash!!! Now, brothers and sisters, here is another person who can’t stand these four English fuckheads. Yeah, you got it, me. The Clash suck! I saw them on Fridays a few months back, because I didn’t know much about them and I wanted to find out, and they did not leave a good impression on me. They reeked of bullshit, .and since then I have hated the Clash very much.

These jerk-offs must be queer. They wear stupid looking clothes with stand-up collars, have 1950’s-style greasers’ haircuts, but, worst of all, the Stuff they play that they call “music” is nothing but a bunch of computerized, refried disco trash, j Why don’t they grow their hair long like Edward Van Halen or Geddy Lee, cut out the slick shit, and play music. And by music, I mean heavy metal.

What really ticks me off about the Clash and their fans is the way they knock all the good bands I mean, earlier this year I was at my favorite record store in Grand Rapids and there was a sticker on the cellophane wrapping covering the London Calling album, and it said something to the effect of“. ..the new record by the only band that matters, the Clash.”

“Only band that matters'.” Shee-it! Do you know how dumb that sounds? Say 1t again. “Only band that matters.” It’s absolutely disgusting. Of v course, it’s wrong, wrong, wrong.

And these zombies that go around with their index finger in the air saying “The Clash is No. One” have the unmittigating gall to put down good, talented, great bands such as AC/DC, Van Halen, Ted Nugent, Rush, Judas Priest, REO Speed wagon, Foreigner, Aerosmith, Jimi Hendrix, Foghat, Thin Lizzy, Bob Seger and the like.1 (Some French person in the Apr. ish even knocked the Who.) 1

And who do the Clash fans especially hate?

* Led Zeppelin! Well, let me tell you, Zep fans hate

the Clash even more.

No, I don’t think Lep Zep rules or that they are No. One. The best rock and roll band in the world is the Rolling Stones. However, Led Zep ain’t too far behind. They’re definitely.in the top ten.

I’m sure a few Clash nuts will write in to CREEM and call me an asshole and tell me what I can do with this letter if it is printed. Hell, I don’t care. After all, they’re not all there anyway! (Haven’t we heard that before?)

Look, I don’t hate new wave. I happen to like the Cars, Blondie, the Police, Gary Numan, the Jam, Joe Jackson, Elvis Costello, and the Knack/But I hate the Clash! I can’t stand them! As , Dr. Johnny Fever said on WKRP in Cincinnati, “I’d rather be selling vacuum cleaners door to door—they make better music!!”

Not only that, but heavy metal is 10 times better than new wave. It’s superior, that’s all.

Drop Acid, not bombs,,

KillKhomeini

Disco sucks!! and rock rule^!!!

Ted Nugent, Van Halen, AC/DC, the Stones—forever!

Dan Reynolds

Belding, MI

(Was that a letter or a bumper sticker?—Ed.)

BEATLES TO REUNITE!!

Just when I start to like your magazine, you fucked up. I think you just wanna see how much shit your readers will take. Finally, you put a decent pin-up of McCartney in your August issue I (maybe someday you’ll write an article too). Then one of your coke-sniffing writers put a bunch of silly horseshit on the poster. Where is your respect, man? Where do you get off insulting a creator of what rock music is today? If it wasn’t for him, you’d probably be writing articles on Dylan, Baez, and the rest of the folkies. Then who would read this magazine?

Listen ups CREEM!! You don’t fuck around withtheBEATLES!!!

Sincerely, )

High on Rock

Parker, PA

P.S. The Walrus is Me!

P. P. S. I know all your letters from Canada are fake. Everybody knows Canadians can’t write ' (Especially the ones that sniff coke. —Ed.)

I CAN HEAR TRUMPETS!

Fact: Gas up here is cheaper (85«f a gallon (not Yankee gallons)).

Fact; We don’t have to wait in line for gas.

Fact: Nothing musically good has come out of the U.S. ’cept for Tom Petty and Blqndie (but even then you had to let the U.K. check ’em out first). Pat Benatar spreads nice, though.

Fact: I haven’t seen a baby fucking seal in my life.

Fact: There are Anore queers in the U.S. than ip the rest of the world put together.

Fact: Our beer has alcohol in it.

Fact: U.S. bitches will ball any form of matter.

Fact: We don’t have race riots.

Fact; The Clash is the best fucking band since the Who.

Fact: Jimmy is a wimp.

Fact: Ronald is a rednecked fuckhead.

Fact; My bass playing can put any Yankee hippy faggot’s to shame.

• Fact: U.S. cars are pieces of shit.

Fact: Our own Battered Wives, Zon, Chilliwack and Streetheart can kick the living shit out of any and all U.S. hippy bands.

Fact: People bum down U.S. embassies more than any other kind.

Fact: I don’t live in an igloo.

Death Or Glory v

Sir John A. McDonald

Garageland, CANADA

Stay tuned for some stupid comment from ed. (You certainly seem to be an extremely intelligent felllow. —Ed.)

FASCISM, HEAVY METAL LINKED!

There’s a problem here. Over a year ago, you said that Heavy Metal is Dead. Now, all the hip and cool rock fans I talk to say that Heavy Metal is not only not dead, but it is Coming Back, like a heavily drugged elephant on skates. This must not happen, because Heavy Metal is not good. It is not fun to listen to, it is not humorous (intentionally), and it provides the youth of America with unattractive role models, such as the Mr. Roth that graced your last cover, and that same fellow who seems to sing lead vocal with Judas Priest, Foreigner, the Scorpions, Def Leppard, the Rossington-Collins band, fyrokus, and, at the wrong speed, Rush and Styx. Look, I work with young people, I know. Why haven’t these Heavy Metal bands been sent to some sort of camp, like the Japanese when®W.W. II broke out? What happened to three minute songs? The Ramones, now there’s a really nice bunch of young Republicans. Why can’t more kids identify with them instead of this man Nugent who picks his nose with small-calibre handguns?

All of their songs are under four minutes, short, to the point, with no blaring guitar solos. They also keep their shirts on when performing. But when kids go to their favorite record stores, do they buy Ramones albums? Well, sometimes, but usually it’s albums by groups who have died, either by plane crash (Lynyrd Skynyrd) or irreparable brairi damage (Deep Purple) or venereal disease (Aerosmith and Legs Diamond).

Why do these albums sell? My pet theory is that over 85% of Americans between the ages of 13 and 18 do not own record players. They simply . buy an album by a group named after a state, take it home, and trade them with their friends like baseball cards. If Molly Hatchett chose not to include an actual record in their next album, sales would only go down by about 20%. (These figures have been documented by a major y«St anonymous California marketing agancy). So, actually, Ed. you’re right: Heavy Metal is dead, and the majority of teens today are necrophiliacs. Otherwise, living, breathing bands such as the Ramones would be selling millions of ^records. The answer to this problem is basic: All Teen-Age Necrophiliacs Must Be Killed Or Forced To Live In Eastern Montana On Specially Equipped Sheep Ranches.

Please ask your readers to send their money, favorite valuable belongings and food stamps to the fund to eradicate Teen-Age Necrophilia, in care of:

Teen-Age Necrophilia Fund of America

Los Angeles, Califomis 90024

Oncelmore, that’s:

Teen-Age Necrophilia Fund Of America

Los Angeles, California 90024

With your help, we can prevent another Tommy Bolin record from ever being sold.

Thank You,

T.J. (“Red”) Gein

Temporarily stationed at Fitzmore Ground Alert, Tempe, AZ

COVER SCAM REVEALED!1 , We’re sitting here listening to Metallic K.O. (“Would you like this genuine cockbelt?”), and we decided that it’s time to bitch about certain aspects of your magazine, namely the non-New Wave aspects.

You wieners insist on proclaiming yourselves as America’s only ROCK ’N’ ROLL magazine, and yet who do you put oh your cover? None other than the impotent (that’s right, girls) David Lee Roth. You put the Clash on the cover (but that’s become fashionable; I mean, where the

fuck was Rolling Stone in *l977-1978? CREEM did give excellent coverage to the punk era). But what else do you do? Put the cover of the boorish The Wall in the background! (I’m into The Wall. We get really stoned, man. Gonna get right down, man. Legalize Vimto!).

Let’s stop fucking two-facedness. If you are the ONLY R ,’N’ R magazine (something I suspect is true), then let’s see some important groups, such asPiL, Gang of Four (excellent articles on both in August ’80 issue), the Mekons, blah, blah, etc.

But enough Journey, Triumph, and several other practitioners of Castrate Rock. These groups are like the scene in Pink Flamingoes when Devine eats dogshit.

Speaking of which, the zombies are entering the room, they’re biting us, they’re grabbing the' letter AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!)!!!!

In Mute Nostril Agony,

Chip and Ernie

Minneapolis, MN

P.S. Who writes the captions under the photos? They’re keen.

(Captions are spontaneously .generated by random samplings of our reader mail. —Ed.)

JOHNSON’S MOM WRITES IN!!

Well, Rick Johnson proved once again that he’s all right in his place, but that hasn’t been dug yet. I am referring to the Departure article in your August record section wherein it’s obvious that little Ricky has yet to toilet train his mind since the last attempt of an uninterrupted Led Zeppelin tour. What kind’ve homogenized imagination has this friggin’ fruit fart got anyway? He should be listening to Chipmunk Punk with that preacher feller, Mister Blackwell, down at the Dew Drop Inn. If s just my luck that they would both see God (an artist’s misconception of J. Page) instead of fertilizing the oil slicks. Better yet, they should

both be shot.

Yours in mime,

The Cludgy Kid, esq.

Close to the hall of the Mountain King and luvin’ it.

Salem, OR

NEW JOHNSON FANS!! we are A tRillion MoNkeyS TypinG sIMultaneously at 10 letters Per seCond. we are ALL biG fAns of rick johNson anD arE eaGeR to PrOve That his Latest BGO BluRb Is complEtelY mistaken, we CaN write, we just Don’T want to cOpy ShakespeAr—ThAt’a PlagiariSm!! rAther, we HaVe Our Own wRitlng sTyle. o(Dr Ambition ISto bEcoMe (CollectlveLy) A ROcK cRitiC. We FeeeL That IF grell mArcus can, We sUre CaN! wEll, SinCe We flrSt GoT MenTioned iN Creem, HoW AboUt iT? wE HavE Our owN tYpewRiters AIL you HaVe tO SuPPLY iS BaNanas!

WE coULD Be tHe NeXt jEffRey MorGan!! Waiting For YouR rEplY*

ATriLLion jnOnkEyS NeWhAveN.CT

P.S. “tO Be OR noT to Be, ThaT Is The queStiOn.”—so TheRe!

MAKES NO SENSE!!

Typewriter tappers, You’re all just crappers, You listen to love with your intellect. Typewriter bangers on, You’re all just hangers on, Everyone’s human ’cept Cohen and CREEM. You say Empty Glass is not essential—think again. You’re holding one.

Long Live Rock,

Joan McNulty, Marc Cohen and the Staff of Who’s News Magazine Arlington, MA

(Yeah, yeah. But what about his big nose?—Ed.)

TEAR DOWN THE WALLS, MAN!! Your writers and some of your letter-writing readers are so hopelessly and hatefully opinionated that I feel I must write a letter in defense of rPck itself. Two main categories that most of the nrriSil fall into are: 1) Heavy-metal lover? who insist on disparaging disco and New Wave, apd 2) New Wave-lovers who insist on putting down heavy metal and progressive rock.

Your writers and reviewers seem to take on similar roles. To all of these people, I pose the following questions:

Have you all forgotten that music is meant to bring people enjoyment?

Have you all forgotten'that music is simply music, and that rigid barriers are not only arbitrary, but breed needless conflict between various cults? While many CREEM readers insist on putting up rock and roll barricades between styles, at least some artists go right ahead with fusions of various musics. To those efforts, I say “Great! Go right ahead.” 1 am referring to things such as rock fusions like the Stones’ “Miss You” and the Kinks’ “Superman.” Bands like Def Leppard and the Scorpions are to be commended for producing heavy metal that bears a New Wave influence, making for shorter songs and more concise solos (which some people think is a great improvement).

Anyway, my' point is that, to read CREEM ' these days gives me the feeling that someone has to protect rock ’n\ roll music from its ‘own audience. Can’t people just listen to what they like most .and pick out the few (if any) tunes and bands they can enjoy from other fields? I am not a New Wave fan; in fact, a lot of it doesn’t interest me at all. However, I really enjoy a lot of the Clash’s work, as is true with some sjuff done by the Talking Heads,1 the Jam, and the Rockpile folks. I can’t claim to be so open-minded about disco, but at least I simply ignore it instead of passing value-judgements on it and saying that it is actually bad. This is because disco obviously has some value, because people obviously like it. If they enjoy a certain form of music, God bless ’em. 1

TURN TO PAGE 64

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10

When it comes to New Wave and some of the attitudes it embraces, I have to seriously question Paul Weller’s contention that bands like Genesis should “get out of the way and make room for other bands.” This is just inappropriate and off the mark. The record-buying public is huge in numbers and varied in tastes. Huge sales: by Genesis and other so-called “dinosaur” bands absolutely do not limit sales or expression by the Jam or any other New Wave band. I suggest that Paul Weller first, examines what kind of support he is getting from his record company before he slags another rock artist.

Let’s look uv the August issue of CREEM. Someone who signed a letter “Sign Me Won’t Get Fooled Again” says “us new wavers are trying to tell you something.” What are you trying to tell us? That the world is in trouble? 1 don’t know anybody stupid enough who would deny that change is an integral part of popular music and society itself.' This letter writer is telling us nothing by going out and pogoing or fighting at a Pretenders or a Clash concert. Music is music and not in itself social activism. I’ll take this person seriously when I see him/her doing something concrete like marching at an alternative energy' demonstration or working for a political candidate (no matter who) that he/she believes in. i 1 don’t want to lo,6k like a New Wave-hater or a staunch supporter of the “dinosaurs,” so let’s take a hard look at some allegedly “old guard” attitudes your letter-writing readers express. “The Catholics from Planet Caravan” wrote that “Punk has sunk, disco lives only in Frisco (gay town), new wave is not the rave. Led Zep is the ultimate high in rock...” What the hell is your problem? As I said before, can’t you enjoy your music without denying the validity of someoneelse’s culture? It sounds to me like this person is kind of afraid of change. Heavy metal won’t

disappear with the continued evolution of punk and other musics. If you enjoy AC/DC and Black Sabbath,, no one is going to force you to a Pretenders concert1 or to listen to the Clash. Again, just enjoy and let others do the same. Remember, music,is music and should be above petty hatreds and prejudices. All forms of rock are continuing to evolve and someday, there might even be a band whose fusion music we can all enjoy. Wouldn’t that be strange?

Sincerely,

Lew

Trenton, NJ

(Well, the Stranglers are a strange band.—Ed.) HYNDE LEGS!

No, I don’t believe it! I walked into 7-11 last night and shrieked aloud when I saw the Pretenders staring at me from the cover of, CREEM. Bless you people. Right on the cover, those four, talented, beautiful.people, inside, lots of good pictures and a really terrific interview. FREAK-OUT! Intelligent questions! I LOVED it! Five stars* *’* *for Chrissie Hynde—it was refreshing to read one of my favorite musical personality’s opinions and reflections on herself and her band’s music, without delving into the usual shit “rock stars” talk about (which bands they hate, how they prefer sfex, what their favorite drugs are, how many times a day they urinate, etc. etc.). What I mean is, when this gal talks about herself, it’s interesting. It’s nice to know that one can succeed in the music world and retain their intelligence and not go off on a huge ego trip. And as for explaining her bar-room brawls and fuck-offs in “Precious” (ohhh yeah!), that isn’t necessary for me. As far as I’m concerned, Chrissie and the guys can do and say whatever they like!

Respectfully,

A Big Pretenders Fan Web(ba-dog) ,

Buffalo, NY

P.S. And J hope they come here real soon!

P.P.$. As long as I’m writing this letter, I just can’t resist saying a few things here. ThisP.P,S. is addressed to the “Catholics from the Planet Caravan” (??):

1) Led Zep ain’t that hot no more.

2) Where do you come off putting down the Clash (great band), Elton John (he was one of the best a while back) and David Bowie, who happens to be my idol? Do you know that some of the members of Aerosmith, Rush, and Black Sabbath idolize David Bowie (or at least they said they did)? Just try saying something rotten about him again, or the Pretenders, Squeeze or Elvis Costello, and I’ll bash your burnt brains together.

3) Who or what is “M. Slim”? Is that a new beef jerky or what?

4) Planet Caravan? Black Sabbath? Are you on drugs or something?

5) 1 used to like Rush as much as the next rock ’n’ roller, but have you not noticed that they ceased to really rock ’n’ roll a long time ago, like after the great Caress of Steel?

6) What do you consider “good tit”—Nancy Wilson? Ann Wilson? DOLLY PARTON, for that matter?

7) Judging your mentality from the content of your letter, who did you get to write it for you?

(If we judged people’s mentalities from the content of their letters, we’s be selling used cars—Ed.) %