HOME: Rubber City.

AGE: Legally tenuous.

PROFESSION: Keeping the blood sugar level of her audiences up... without the calories.

HOBBIES: Pledging allegiance to the flag of the United States of America; tempting Bruce Springsteen; make-overs by Way Bandy; Kiddie Kalesthenics; allowance squandering; fake ID lawsuit struggles.

LAST BOOK READ: The Life And Times Of Robert Mitchum by Lou Reed.

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Survived a live radio simulcast from Bookie’s Club 870.

QUOTE: “He may be my father, but hey! Life’s for living!”

PROFILE: After convincing Mickey Rooney that she would indeed grow taller than him, Rachel substituted rock ’n’ roll for adolescence, took “Louie, Louie” to the prom, and is currently growing up in public. Here’s looking at you, kid!

BEER: Boy Howdy!