Confessions of a FILM FOX

Confessions of a FILM FOX

Hi Wendy! I’m home...Palm Springs newspaper The Desert Sun recently ran this headline: FORD ENTERS DINAH SHORE. We were wondering what the entry fee was...

Praise the Lord and pass the bux dept.: Happy with all the good fortune coming his way, little guy Mickey Rooney took out an immense ad in the Los Angeles Times to thank God and his minister. Will devout Catholics the Mutants follow suit? Will Pasadena offer his body for sacrifice? Stay tuned...

Sez Toni Tennille, “I won’t do nude scenes... with people panting and crawling all over each other.”

Flamenco guitarist Charo had quite a few different ideas for the readers of Rona Barrett’s Hollywood. On exercise: “Every morning I press my hands together and say, 'I must, I must develop my bust. Bit by bit, I will enlarge my tits.' And it works. After 100 times I look as big as a Spanish cow.” How did Charo learn the facts of life? “The first time I knew about sex was when I saw the bull making little bullets. The second time was when I saw two doggies doing it. I was so innocent that I thought the dog in front was sick and the dog in back was doing something to help him get better. I was shocked.” Where was the craziest place Charo made love? “On the rug. In Acapulco. There were lots of cockroaches on the rug...I like that kind of audience. Only cockroaches. And mosquitoes. They are very exciting. They make music.” Uh huh.

Burt Reynolds’s ex, Judy Came, is rumored to be very serious with hairdresser Jon Barratt. Does Burt care? No, Burt’s more concerned with the cool five million he’ll get for starring in Cannonball, a flick about a coast-to-coast road race. Zzzz...

Didja know Richard Burton used to booze it up with famous poet Dylan Thomas? Didja know Pat Boone doesn’t drink at all? Did you know that everything is beautiful in its own way? Evidently, Cher is tres upset over Gene Simmons and Diana Ross’s continuing relationship. Will Gregg jump on the bandwagon? And what happened to Bebe Buell?

Bo Derek’s real name is Mary Cathleen Collins. Next.

Meryl Streep requested that not only was her* husband Don Gummerto be flown onto the set of The French Lieutenant’s Woman, but that he also be supplied with a studio to practice his sculpting. Ah, the luxury of success.. .Meryl is also slated to play Karen Silkwood, the woman who tried to blow the whistle on nuclear plant safety, in a TV movie for ABC. Bravo, Meryl...

Tommy Roe’s promotion for his new single, “Charlie, I Love Your Wife,” is causing quite a fuss at the newspapers that are running the ad. The ad simply says, “Charlie, I love your wife” It seems that many men are calling the newspaper demanding to know who in the hell loves their wives and why. She sure as hell can’t cook... Roman Polanski sez he will indeed go to jail in the U.S., but only after Tess is released on our fair country...

Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon to wed? Maybe, maybe not. The point is: who cares?

This headline courtesy of Gossip magazine: SUZANNE SOMERS: “RELATED” TO BOB HOPE—ORT OF! Yeah.

And cradle robbing still exists: Britt Echhland is dating musician Philip Lewis, who is 17 years younger than the aging blonde. Britt— dontcha know young men have roving eyes? You do too? We’ve never noticed...

Ex co-star of I Dream Of Jeannie, Larry Hagman, spends one day of each week in complete silence. His wife should be so lucky... Molly Gibb, wife of Bee Gee Robin, is serving him something new for dinner. No, it’s not Alpo. It’s divorce papers. Seems the young lady doesn’t see enough of the guy and is lonely...

Cheryl Ladd to wed Scottish songster Brian Russell? Does anyone have any objections? Francis “I’m not necessary” Coppola will produce and direct One From The Heart, starring Frederic Forrest, TeriGarrand Raul Julia. It’s supposed to be “an adult fable set in Las Vegas.” Rumor has it that Wayne Newton will leave Sin City while they shoot the thang. .. Liza Minnelli’s given up smoking and drinking, and taken up vitamin eating to avoid another miscarriage, like she had last December. Good luck, Liza...

Box office bomb Farrah Fawcett is going to appear in the stage production of Butterflies Are Free, directed by Burt Reynolds. Perhaps this is Farrah’s version of Road To Ruin... Farrah is also reportedly so taken with Ryan O’Neal that’s she’s willing to have his child without even being married! Have you ever heard of such a thing!?!

Al Pacino and Marthe Keller are back together after their six month split...

My word! All these tasty rumors! Informed sources claim that Ringo Starr has married actress Barbara Bach! Now go roll over and play dead!

Richard “Call Me!” Gere, no relation to. Paul Zimmerman, the Aryan Gigolo, is currently setting up a little love-nest with his Brazilian girlfriend Sylvia Martins...

Bette Davis to star in a Hitchcock-type thriller? What stamina...

Famed thrush Bette Midler is being chased around Hollywood to play the lead in United Artist’s The Polish Nightingale, and this fox wants to know how she likes kielbasa...

Well, have a happy day...or I'll kill you.