HOME: Wherever they hang their pork pie hats.

AGE: Rude and lewd.

PROFESSION: Sensual simian shoe-shufflers.

HOBBIES: Reviving Desmond Dekker without embarrassing him; outtakes from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest; trombone etiquette; gap-toothed goofiness and shiny foreheads; money-back guarantees and the art of Bernie Rhodes.

LAST BOOK READ: History Of The 2-Tonic Invasion by Adolf Costello. LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Paid for their barber’s Jamaican vacation. QUOTE: “Sleep all day...it’s the only way.”

PROFILE: Opening guano stands across the nation to fertilize dance floors, the Specials negotiate a new era with frenetic foot twitchings; taking their teeth seriously, these checkerboard ska-crows dwell in the 2-Tone zone of danceable dedication, all the while remaining properly equipped during horizontal exercises.

BEER: Boy Howdy!