Confessions of FILM FOX

FILM FOX

Greetings all, and welcome to this month’s episode of “Comedy Is Not Pretty,” subtitled, “The Bong Show.” First to step into the limelight is that titillating toker Timothy Leary, who you may have caught gigging ’round L. A. as a stand-up [stand-up?) comic. Anyhow, the good doctor describes himself as more of a stand-up (again, STAND-UP?) philosopher, but chief schnook and kiddie watcher Art Linkletter is not amused. The missing Link still holds Mr. Leary indirectly repsonsible for the death of his daughter, Diene Linkletter, who pulled a Peter Pan while high on LSD. Don’t worry, Art, word has if thatTimmer’s act is a bust.. .and how’s your antimarijuana book doing on the newsstands?

Pass the Meow Mix: At the Century City premier of The Rose, star Bette Midler was heard to spit, “Helen Reddy? My dear, I hear she was arrested for loitering... in front of an orchestra!” And could there be any truth to the rumor that Bette is trying to talk Frank Sinatra into recording a duet with her? Dunno, but 01’ Blue Veins is definitely returning to the big sr :een after a 10-year hiatus to co-produce and star in a film version of Lawrence Sanders’ The First Deadly Sin. Frankie will reportedly play a detective on the trail of a pervert who commits a series of random murders in New York City. There goes the neighborhood... Meanwhile we do hope he uses some of those big bux to bail out son Frank Sinatra, Jr., who is being suedby Harrah’s Casino in Las Vegas. -It seems that sonny boy, B. J. Thomas and Fabian Forts allforgot to pay their respective hotel bills, which totalled a whopping $10,705.90! Does that include tips?

With his fingers firmly on the pulse of dead fads ’n’ fashions, Roller Boogie director Mark Lsstsris telling all who’ll listen of his next project, a flick entitled Electric Hotel, to star Braes Springsteen and Supertramp. Hope you told them about it, Mark! And you know spring is in the air when a wayward brussel sprout can cause love to rear its ugly head. It seems Cupid’s poison dartpierced the hearts of Dan Aykroyd and Carrie Fisher on the set of The Blues Brothers Movie when the aforementioned mutant legume got stuck in Carrie’s throat. Quick-draw Danny leaped to the rescue, executing a perfect half-Nelson on the starlet and dislodging the nasty veggie .'Ah, windpipe ecstasy... Where’s the Godfather when you need him? Apparently nowhere to be found, a fact that spaghetti-spooler A1 Martino is regretting. The aging crooner was recently arrested on charges of lifting less than $100 worth of socks and shirts from a Gotham clothery. C’mon guys, we know he just wanted something to go with his Spanish Ties...

And speaking of ties, Burt Reynolds and Sally Fields should be tying the knot as soon as they wrap up Smokey & The Bandit Have A Baby. And what of Burt’s old pal, Dinah Shore? Well, she’s busy adding Commodores tu nes tg her repertoire after working with them on a 90-minute TV special. Let’s hope she doesn’t discover Captain Beefheart...

Busy, busy, busy in the cutting room is Joni Mitchell, who’s putting together her first movie. As yet untitled, the flick will include concert shots from Mitchell’s recent Mingus tour, as well as documentary-style footage illustrating some of the themes from her post-Miles Of Aisles LPs. All together now: Zzzzz... Also prepping big screen laffs are Ringo Starr, who’s in the midst of shooting a United Artists comedy called Caveman, and Girl Howdy! herself, Gilda Radncr, who’s making her celluloid debut as the President’s daughter in a Warner Bros, comedy , First Family. Don’t thank us, Gilda— jusfsend the money...

And while former Monkee PeterTork scrapes the rent money together with a singing waiter gig, fellow primate Mickey Dolenz is directing a short film written by Monty Pythonites Michael Palin and Terry Jones, called Buchanen’s Finest Hour.

Til next month, remember: if a beautiful woman keeps you awake all night pounding on your door... let her out...Ta!