MAIL

MAIL

DEPARTMENTS

Please send letters to: MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064 Birmingham, MI 48012

ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

I was thinking if you could do me a little favor. Just one little favor. Lynn Goldsmith is one of your many photographers, right? So I have only seen her twice in a picture. Once in your August 1979 issue of CREEM. Could you print a picture of her in your mail section, showing everything she’s got? Cause I think Lynn is cute. I’ll be waiting for it.

Vladimir Escobar #J CREEM Reader Palm Bay, FL

NO MORE POLISH JOKES QREEM this best musical magazine in world! I am fanatic CREEM. I am interesting in music heelvy-rock. My favourite groups this BUDGIE, BOSTON, FOREIGNER and STARZ. Very please for posters this groups.

Salutation in editorial office of CREEM.

Fan-CREEM

Robert Stodolski

Poznan, Poland

(Some popes will stoop to any level to get their record reviewed. —Ed.)

CLASH BRIBES, COSTELLO NICKS As my first hour (7:00 a.m.!!) teacher says: Hey YOUvGUYS, WAKE UP!!!!!

MAY I ATTEMPT TO SETTLE THE “RADIO RADI07“CAPITOL RADIO” DISPUTE ONCE AND FOR ALL?

, I have the following on tape: an interview with the Clash and a radio deejay on WWWW:

(discussing Ian Hunter’s comments on “Radio Radio”)

Q: How do you get tunes on the radio in England?

Clash: Bribe people! It’s terrible. It’s pretty grim, it’s pretty grim. I

Q: Well, see, how do people know that, let’s say, you’ve got a new record out?

Clash: We’ve got our own anyway. I mean we’ve got our own record out about the radio; “Capitol Radio,” you know?

Q: Yeah.

Clash: Well, Elvis Costello nicked the idea to write “Radio Radio” a year afterward!

If Elvis wants to reply, let him, but I’m not listening! This is getting as bad as the Ann Landers toilet paper controversy...but l just had to add their two cents’ worth...it’s worth more than that...anyway...

—If you’re in the Crown tonight have a drink on me...

Janie Jones

Clash City, MI

Crying in my room cause my mommy wouldn’t take me to the Clash concert last night and my boyfriend lost his driver’s license.

P.S. They also played a record by the passengers called “True LoveEs,” to wit: “I wanna tell you ’bout a true love story/ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh/ About Billy and his lover Charlie....,” (Yeah, but which ivay does your toilet paper hang, huh?—Ed.)

I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE

(deep quivering breath)

How come every time I pick up this magazine I read all this stuff about Bookie’s? Bookie’s, Bookie’s, Bookie’s used to be cool but now whenever I go there it’s dead. Whenever I go to Detroit it’s dead! I love the nightlife, baby, and I’m telling you, this is more like the Night of the Living Dead. Excuuuuse me, the Dawn of the

Dead. Seems like I’m really behind the times! Well, so is punk rock, just people going backwards not forward. But no matter what the music—it’s the Action that counts. The ‘Energy,’ remember? Somebody wants to pass a High Lethargy plan. Ha, don’t let this happen to you. Else you will be a victim. I want a reaction, if l have to stick hot straight pirls in whoever! One more smirk from one more dead an’ you really will be Dead-Dead-Dead! And (question: me?) after I’ve committed I’ll be. committed, (shrug) Probably more fun. (Alien Concept) I LIKE FUN!!!

Signing of Declaration

_(witness)

Who the hell is she? You’ve seen her before at the Carnival. She’s really going out with fish...

Kalamazoo, MI-(Rocks)

(Just shows what a sucker you are—we've been at Lili’s in Hamtramck all along. Ha ha ha. —Ed)

GET YOUR HAIR CUT, TED!

So, Ted Nugent’s new album is called State of Shock. Mustbe because, he listened to all his previous ones!

Gregory Peccary

Nowhereland, CA

OPEN AND SHUT,

BEND AND FLUSH, ETC.

Please insert these phrases into your October issue: 1) terminal sludge_for the red set; 2) aural whoopee cushion. Thank you.

The Splicer

Burial Hill

Plymouth, MA

P.S. a) retinal calisthenics; b) cozy skank; c) young pump; d) pairadata; e) miscegenotion; f) sultry go beep.

P.P.S. Michael Mac Donald is a singer. Delete the word “barge.” There wiltbe corn flakes after the revolution. Over and out.

(Please: a) insert your phrases into the orifice from which they emerged; b) take two aspirins and drink plenty of fluids; c) bring pour William Burroughs collection back to the Burial Hill library; d) have a nice day now, won’t you?— Ed.)

EAT PINEAPPLE, JOHNSON!

Rick Johnson’s article on Heavy Metes) was the worst piece of shit I ever read. I suggest a listening session of the complete works of the Glitterhouse^and the Psychotic Pineapple mightdo him some good.

Nick Tosches knows his stuff and that’s why I enjoy Unsung Heroes of Rock & Roll. Could he do one on the late, great Johrt Lennon?

I think the addition of Dr. Oldie to your writing staff was the best move you could have made. I, living close to Providence, R.I., get to listen to the good doctor’s show every Sunday on WBRV. He is my hero (if hero worship exists).

Boy, I never realized how FAT Rachel Sweet’s face is but I love her album anyway. It’s really great. Too bad I can’t say the same thing about your interview with her. Ms. Valentirte asked the most obvious questions!

Glad to see Tommy Scholz thinking of original effects. But it seems to me that Mr. Frehley has dibs on smoking, sparking guitars. While I’m on the subject, please cut the medicinal intake of Jeff Morgan in the future. The Kiss album is their best yet even though it’s kiddie rock. By the way, Jeff, Love Gun came before Alive II.

I’d like to say that 1 am so sick of the Knack and ELO that I could puke (and just did). Not only does Top 40 play their two “hits” but so do progressive stations. I recommend the two be sent to the Angel school of rehash.

Finally, the worst version of “Satisfaction” was not by Dinah Shore but by Phyllis Diller!!! on her bargain bin classic Born To Sing (not on this earth).

Bring back the Runaways!

Are Friends Electric?

Salem Sam, king of boogie (not snot)

near Providence, RI

(Ask Keith Richards why Phyllis Diller tells Fang jokes all the time. You’ll get the connection.—Ed.)

HEAVY METAL WILL NEVER DIE!

Hello. Or should the “o” be first. You guys really blew it this time. I’m writing in retaliation to the October cover story. HEAVY METAL ROCK is not dead and if 1 have anything to say about it, IT WILL NEVER DIE.

I’ve been sitting here for the last 10 minutes reading this trash that you wrote about America’s HEAVY METAL ROCKERS and I can’t honestly believe that ybu 'call yourselves a rock and roll magazine, are you sure your title isn’t AMERICA’S ONLY DISCO AND FOLK MUSIC MAGAZINE? I realize that some of your “bombs” WERE aimed at the right groups. There were quite a few groups that were needlessly bombarded with your B.S. SUCH AS BOSTON’ HEART, VAN HALEN, TED NUGENT, KISS, BAD COMPANY (THAT WAS REALLY DISGUSTING). I think you should clean the wax out of your ears before you start judging the quality of our music. I also think you were quite unfair to your readers by giving that new KISS album such a lousy and mostly untrue review. I’ll Concede the fact that they are starting to lose the old magic, but a lot of it is still there, and I’d be the first to admit that I wish there was more. But still the album and the group deserve one heck of a lot more praise than that (if there was any at all). As for ACE Frehley, I think you gave him a bum deal in that little piece 6f literature you wrote about the album. I could cate less about what you say but facts are facts and ACE is one heck of a good guitar player, maybe you just can’t hear the music or feel the vibes like I can but YOU ARE WRONG, turn around and face it. Yeah! You!

Bruce A. Myers

Ft. Hood, TX

P.S. How dare you print such bullshit?

(Thanks for writing, Ace. How’s things in Texas?—Ed.)

HOW MUCH IS THAT TONGUE IN THE WINDOW?

After reading some old back issues I saw a number of good tongue shots of Gene (I’m in lo.ve with Cher) Simmons. Well, that night on 20/20 they showed some great film footage of Gene’s tongue.

I’ve only got one thing to say—yeah, he gan flick it around, but can he give good head?

Mina (that’s Nina with an m) Mayfield Cobleskill, NY

(Mork than Paul can Stanley.—Ed.)

GALA JOHNSON NASAL HAIR BASH What unmitigated gall...Rick who? Johnson; Rick Johnson? What kind of sounds does he call music? Sounds like one of those kind who achieve orgasm by plucking n?>sal hairs at Hare Krishna festivals. At least he gives George Harrison something to think about.

Getting to the point...Heavy Metal dead? NO!!!!! (Praise the Lord and pass the blackeyed peas.) Heavy Metal is what keeps humanity sane (look at me).

Airhead First Class The Favorite All-American Dream Dr. Ross Louis Anthony Rhodemyre, Esq. Newport News, VA P.S. Frank Zappa’s the Anti-Christ P.S.S. Ringo is Klaatu (thought I forgot, huh?)

(Hoping you did, actually.—Ed.)

CHECK HIS DRAWERS, PLEASE Thank you, oh thank you Richard Walls, for the intelligent insight in your review of Dire Straits” Communique. While most other reviews have also been favorable, no one has managed to capture the essence of the Straits quite like Walls has" The subtle brilliance of Communique points out the lyrical and musical inanities of some of the more celebrated “rockers”, j A former Led-Zep freak Or ^Robert Plant can stay through the Out Door.

Lady Writer

Angela Ryan

Rancho Cordova, CA

P.S./ Dear editor, I tried to follow your advice (CREEM, Sept. 1979), but am having trouble finding Knopfler so I can check his “lower extremities”. Any hints?

(Oui, oui. Subtle enough?—Ed.)

BOOGIE DOWN, RICK J.

I’m sure many hard rock lovers out there will agree with me when I say that Rick Johnson is an asshole. The way he slanders such Hard Rock kings as Led Zeppelin, Bad Company/ Foghat and all those other bands is totally ridiculous (October 1979 CREEM). The thing that pisses me off most is his review of Zeppelin. Tell him to listen to the new album again and clean his ears out. I think putting Disco Lovers like Rick Johnson in your magazine will lead bnly to a loss of many hard rock readers.

Pissed in NY

(So do we.—Ed.) fg?