A victim of a hit & run? Shades of the morning after? Guess again, chump.

Sammy Hagar tried everything short of giving this gas sucking, sultry Trans Am away, and when all else failed, he even went so far as to throw himself in with the bargain. Only thing was, no one wanted a couple hundred pounds of excess baggage that keeps you awake half the night with the whining strains of "Street Machine." Give it up, Sammy... A citizen's arrest by an official of Weight Watchers seems inevitable.