As hard as it may be to believe at this late date (check your calendar), some cricket dicks still don’t have the slightest clue as to what Heavy Metal is, much less what it’s all about. Like all other dumb labels for music (New Wave, Southern Rock, $7.98) it’s nearly impossible to define and none of the groups ever really fits the definition anyway. So the next time somebody stops you on the street and asks, “Hey, Bernice, what is Heavy Metal?”, it’s generally best to just say that Ted Nugent is and Horslips isn’t; “Whole Lotta Love” is and “Mandy”—well, if it gets that far, just tell ’em to go stick their ear to a lawn mower and listen.