HOME: Damp cellars, dipsy dumpsters, blind alleys and tenement stairwells from Dublin to Des Moines.

AGE: These guys remember the Black Plague as "the good old days."

PROFESSION: Spreading ratrock fever to the industrial capitals of the world; eliminating D-Con as we know it.

HOBBIES: Chewing on chicken bones behind Burger Kings; recruiting Woody Guthrie fan club members; providing brain-damaged disc delinquents with provocative prose and points to ponder; finding new uses for flammable sleepwear; collecting girl rattails.

LAST BOOK READ: No, Your Cheese Is by Andrew Peabody.

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Spearheaded an organization to remove all "Mousetrap" games from the European market, claiming such tot toys to be "cruel and unusual punishment."

QUOTE: "I want to get rich and get laid a lot."—"Modest" Bob Geldof.