CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

by

Robert Christgau

ELVIN BISHOP: "Hog Heaven" (Capricorn):: Bishop is a road musician. He doesn't knock himself out making Great Albums, but he doesn't get all twisted up racing after Breakthrough Hits, either. He doesn't even Promote Product much—when he passed through in January, he mentioned his current LP only when he did a song from it, which happened once. Too bad, actually—with Amos Garrett on second lead guitar and Maria Muldaur on second lead vocal, these songs are solid boogie indeed, and I would have liked to hear him tell the story about how he outgrew his brassiere. B +

THE CARLA BLEY BAND: "Musique Mecanique" (Watt):: I'm attracted to Bley's humor, best displayed here in the title piece, a wry take orf the charms and imperfections,of the mechanical mode, not so much in machines as in humans. But this is basically desultory, hinting at the feckless formalism that obsession with texture so often conceals. Beyond the jokes, and the deliberately aborted moments of lyricism, she really doesn't have much to say. Weill sure did: And so (did Satie. B

THE DICKIES: "The Incredible Shrinking Dickies" (A&M):: You've heard of punk? Well, this is twit. C

JOE ELY: "Down On The Drag" (MCA):: Ely's songwriting pal Butch Hancock, who's beginning to sound like a great one, contributes four more; if "Fools Fall In Love" sounds like a lame title, how do you like "Wise men hit the bottom, Lord/A fool falls right on through'? But Ely himself seems to have run short of tunes. Except for "Crazy Lemon" (which gets across on the crazy force of its lyric and vocal, not on its melody), none of his songs call you back. The weakest of three strong albums. B +

THE FABULOUS POODLES: "Mirror Stars" (Epic):: You've heard of twitf Well, this is twerp. C

GLORIA GAYNOR: "Love Tracks" (Polydor):: Not only does this head off with "I Will Survive" (which I—unlike most—find too long in this eight-minute version) and "Stoplight," a piece of girl-group foolishness that ought to be canonized, it winds down into commendable filler-plus. Faves: "You Can Exit" ("If you don't like the size/if you don't like the fit" of whaf?) and "Afiybody Wanna Party" (which for once might induce me to). A better Freddie Perren album than Best Of The Syluers. B +

GICHY DAN'S BEACHWOOD #9 (RCA Victor):: Produced, written and directed (but not sung) by August Darnell of Dr. Buzzard, this begins with the seduction sequence from a fantastical 40's shipboard movie, establishing a tropical mood that pervades the record—sometimes lyrically, always musicially—through its finale, "Winter On Riverside Drive." Like Dr. Buzzard, Gichy Dan mixes nostalgic fun and urban realism into something exotic. And though the melodies aren't always there, the life and imagination that were wrung out of Dr. Buzzard's second album have returned. B +

HOT CHOCOLATE: "Every l's A Winner" (Infinity):: Errol Brown used to pose interesting questions, mostly about raqe, and though his conclusions were often quizzical or incoherent,/they tended to be more provocative (if no more militant) than "Love Is The Answer One More Time." There are four good songs here and no utter losers, but one of the good ones is already on 10 Greatest Hits, and only "Confetti Day," another installment in this strange group's family series, is up to the title chartbuster. Maybe that's because the question that really interests Brown these days is how to integrate synthesized percussion into English soul pop. B

BILLY JOEL: "52nd Street" (Columbia):: Musically, Joel makes a better Elton John than Leo Sayer— he's got that same omnivorous hummability. But when he is (was) good, Elton balances(d) off the smarm with camp, while Billy makes as if he really wants people to believe the words. Yuck. B-

JULES AND THE POLAR BEARS: "Got No Breeding" (Columbia):: Jules Shear is an engaging singer who is no stupe and has a way with a hook. Six months after first hearing, at least half of these songs provide mild pleasure. But Jules Shear Js also a limited singer who has nothing special to say and no special way to say it. Los Angeles's version of Steve Forbert? B

KRIS & RITA: "Natural Act" (A&M)-:: Before the days of Oscar nominations and Jackie Wilson atrocities, when these married hippies were, striving to, gain acceptance as a mainstream country duo, they actually went out of their way to be boring—the material on Full Moon was so damn acceptable you almost didn't notice it was there\ So I guess Breakaway was "transitional," because this time the outlaw superstar duo work with much sharper songs, including three from T-Bone Burnett and two (good ones) from Billy Swan. Unfortunately, they don't go out of their way to be interesting. With a pair as somnambulant as this one, sharp songs aren't enough. B

"McGUINN, CLARK & HILLMAN" (Capitol):: Despite the occasional Byrdsy guitar run, this is pure supersession, a purposeful AOR move by pros out for a quick killing, anonymously accomplished in the music and contentless in the lyrics. Granted, McGuinn's vocals are outstandinglook at the company he's keeping— and his "Don't You Write Her Off" is a genuine grabber. But it's also the simplest thing on the record. Moral: At least you can make having nothing to say sound like fun. C

"GEOFF MULDAUR AND AMOS GARRETT" (Flying Fish)s: Because Garrett's amiable baritone and astrin-^ gent guitar fend toward blues, this is more coherent Muldaur than either of his Warner solos. And I assume a limited budget curbed some of his sillier; experimental fancies, which couldn't have hurt. But his affection for genteel schlock—tunes by Chopin and Tchaikovsky, a rancid chestnut called "Beautiful Isle Of Somewhere"—still distracts. B

"BONNIE POINTER" (Motown);: Thanks to (co-producer) Berry Gordy and the miracle of modern multitracking, Bonnie makes like the Marvelettes of your dre&ms for an entire side. People didn't conceive vocals this intricate and funky back in Motown's prime, much less overdub them singlelarynxed, and the result is remakes that outdo the originals (by Brenda Hollo-, way and the Elgins) and originals that stand alongside. The other side comprises originals of more diminutive stature co-written by (co-producer) Jeffrey Bowen. B +

THE POINTER SISTERS: "Energy" (Planet):: This comes as a nice surprise to someone who's always found the Pointers' soul pyrotechnics as busy and irrelevant as the David Rubinson productions they complemented. With Richard Perry at the helm and the hyperactivity of sister Bonnie channeled into a socially useful project, they reappear here as Linda Ronstadt, in triplicate and with a beat. In other words, these are excellent songs rockingly performed. But there's something overly temperate about the music, and most of the songs have been interpreted more smartly by artists who care as much about words as they do about notes. B

THE POLICE: "Outlandos d'Amour" (A&M):: Tuneful, straightahead rock 'n' roll is my favorite form of mindlessness, and almpst all of these songs—riffs-with-lyrics, really—make the cretin in me hop. But only "Can't Stand Losing You" makes him jump up and1 down. And the soliloquy to the inflatable bed mate makes him push reject. B +

RICHARD PRYOR: "Wanted" (Warner Bros.):: Believe it or not, Pryor has mellowed—he does stuff about kids and pets that's like Bill Cosby with trenchmouth, and he finally seems to have gotten the message about women's liberation. Though the fourth side drags and nothing on the first three is as visionary as the title cut on Bicentennial Nigger, there are a lot fewer nightclub quips and sight gags, and Pryor's warmth has heat. Next best thing to the movie. A-

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MITCH RYDER: "How I Spent My Vacation" (Seeds & Stems):: What he remembers best, apparently, is sex with men, and the songs that result put across all the sin, fear, passion, love-and-hate, pleasure, and release thiat buggery seems to have involved for him. The lyrics sometimes lack coherence, and the music is a more sensitive version of the now outdated R&B-based guitar-flash he favored with Detroit back jn 1970. But the overall effect is literally revelatory. B

RICHARD & LINDA THOMPSON: "First Light" (Chrysalis):: Richard T. has always redeemed corny themes with a humor dry enough to be mistaken for nasty, as when he includes "I'll punch you in the nose" in a list of odd jobs he'll do. But nowhere elsexon "Restless Highway," "Sweet Surrender," and "The Choice Wife Died For Love"—the bulk of side one, and check those titles again—do the lyrics deviate from the expectable. Just as distressing, Thompson's guitar veers away from his unique, timeless modalism toward the studio country-rock favored by new sidemen Willie Weeks and Andy Newmark, I love "Strange Affair," one of his greatest death songs yet, and find the austere harmonies as bracing as ever. But the Thompsons' pervasive Anglicism qualifies as a peripheral gratification for me, and I definitely want it straight when I want it at all. B

GEORGE THOROGOOD AND THE DESTROYERS: "Move It Oil Over" (Rounder):: It's impossible not to be charmed by Thorogoibd's enthusiasm, and hjistrumentally mis band is as likable as, say, Hound Dog Taylor's Houserockers. But only closet folkies could vest hope in a nqncomposer whose taste in material is markedly less interesting than the Blues Brothers' and whose only virtue as a vocalist is his complete lack of embarrassment. Harmless, but inconsequential—except as an augury. B

Reprint courtesy Village Voice.