THE BEAT GOES ON

THE BEAT GOES ON

NY Invaded by Army of Stiffs: Thousands Helpless!

NEW YORK-Rock ’n’ roller Mickey Jupp wouldn’t fly. It’s like a tune on his current (import only) Stiff album Juppanese, says, “You’ll never get me up in one of those.” But for the rest of the jovial crew of up-and-coming Stiff artists, an airplane ride to New York to present highlights of their (import only) LPs sounded just what the management ordered. And who could say? The feisty little British organiza-tion might pick up a new American home, as Arista had let its supposed deal die a soggy death of indifference.

Shepherded by head honcho Dave Robinson and hosted by general manager Paul Conroy, the “Be Stiff Route ’78” tour took over New York’s Bottom Line for four days in December. The club’s waitresses wore t-shirts reading “No More Freebies” and they weren’t kidding. Even the press paid a fiver to get in plus food and drinks, shelling out gladly and, in several cases, for more than one show. With only the enthusiasm of the club, trade paper Record World, local station WNEW-FM, and lots of word on the street, Stiff sold out eight shows running. Plenty of those tickets went to folks who’d never even heard the (import only) LPs. And there were no superstar drop-ins to upstage the players.

Conroy’s role as program host came to him naturally and gracefully, though he didn’t MC the tour as it trained its way through Britain earlier in the season. “When I’m back in England,. Dave Robinson makes me work,” he later confessed. Decked out in a Union Jack slouchy blazer the likes of which were last seen pouring from Carnaby Street in 1966, and cropped hair, Conroy looked and acted the reincarnation of the old Bonzo Dog Band rolled into one. He teased, he cajoled, he promised, he praised the eager audience; he threw out loads of gifts. A copy of the Eagles’ Christmas record went flying, a paper hat landed on a party-goer. He conducted “man in the street” interviews, challenging anonymous faces as to why they were there, helping to pay off Stiff’s $35,000 debt in bringing the show over. He introduced the wonderful acts, a neverending stream of them.

Afilm of the Stiff 1977 tour, which featured Elvis Costello, Dave Edmunds, Nick Lowe and Ian Dury doing rude things on and off stage, began the evening. With the kind of neat touch only a label like Stiff could dare to pull, the clip ended with a few seconds of Infinity Records president Ron Alexenburg chatting on the phone. Label shopping indeed, yet by the time you read this, Stiff may have found the right place to roost.

It’s hard to predict if the 1978 line-up has a Graham Parker or Elvis Costello lurking in the roster, but the diversity of acts offered, in true show biz tradition, something for everyone.

Rachel Sweet’s backing band, the Records, are signed to Virgin, not Stiff, but they were given their own short set. Their four poporiented tunes were for me one of the night’s best showings, and they’re pretty enough to rate with the teen crowd.

Jona Lewie (LP: On The Other Hand There’s A Fist), his shiny cream-colored suit setting off dark curls and a swarthy complexion, could hold his own in the ethnic resort of your choice. Com centrating on piano, (playing one tune on the accordian), Lewie blended rock with an old-fashioned eagerness to please—though it was a surprise when he ended his set by racing down the front row of tables scattering drinks and patrons in his wake.

Little Rachel Sweet (LP: Fool Around) ,16 and from Akron, Ohio, is this year’s model Brenda Lee. Innocently charming, clad in a loose white shirt and jeans, and almost overwhelmed by her cannon of a voice, Rachel belted her British hit, Carla Thomas’s “Baby” as well as country laments and curious rock tunes.

Occasionally, Rachel was backed by the saxophone and mysterious vocals of the Yugoslavian Lene Lovich (LP: Stateless), introduced as the queen of Stiff records for her own set. How could you not love someone who dresses like Morticia, and has a band called the Musicians Union featuring a cue ballheaded guitarist? Lovich, who sounds more American than foreign (and who, rumor has it, was a bom Detroiter before her move east), aroused equal parts of love and wrath from the audience, depending on one’s loyalties to her soundalike, Patti Smith. From my point of view, Lene’s warmth and self-control sharply contrasted with the Russki feel of her songs, and put her way ahead in the charisma sweepstakes.

And for the sheer lunacy of his breath-taking ending, there was cockney Wreckless Eric (LP: The Wonderful World Of), whose “Take the Cash” should become the freelancer’s official theme song. Eric’s anticsjived up to the show’s advertised warning to bring your own oxygen supply. After you’d obligingly stood and shook to the en massed Stiffers singing “Be Stiff” in encore, there was time to head for the Stiff boutique, cagily set up in a corner of the Bottom Line, and for a mere 5(V sport a badge bearing the motto of the 1980’s. “If It Ain’t Stiff, It Ain’t Worth A Fuck.” I’ll drink to that.

Toby Goldstein

Flatulence of the Stars Pt. I:

Well, pre-pube readers, we don't like to run these kind of Stories, but then you shouldn't be reading this magazine anyway. What you are all about to witness is a photo sequence of Leif Garrett farting. That's right, and let's not hedge or Clay semantics; I mean, the kid lew it and we've got him nailed.

Inside William Burroughs

TORONTO-With 1980 just a shot away, it seems as good a time as any for a cultural update from William S. Burroughs, the spiritual patriarch of rock ’n’ roll.

The uninitiated may wonder why this magazine has devoted so much space to a man who will be 65 years old this year. Such readers are advised to pursue some of the man’s previous books: Junky (written more than a quarter of a century ago under the pseudonym William Lee because. Burroughs didn’t want his family to read it), Nova Express, or Exterminator!, any of which will more than pave the way for Burroughs’s acknowledged master work, Naked Lunch.

Of equal importance is The Job, a vital collection'of interviews which will answer even the most avid reader’s questions.

Still, despite the amount of topical ground The Job covers, precious little—if any— information concerning Burroughs’s personal opinions on rock ’n’ roll can be found in print—a situation I decided to remedy somewhat when I interviewed him recently. ,

CREEM: For many contemporary rock critics and musicians, William burroughs is rock ’n’ roll. Do you feel the same affinity for rock ’n’ roll that rock ’n’ roll obviously feels for you?

Burroughs: Well, yeah. [Laughs] I have giyen them a lot of titles: The Heavy Metal Kids, The -Insect Trust, The Soft Machine . . . there are a couple of others,

I enjoy rock ’n’ roll. It certainly is a unique and incredibly phenomenonRemember that 40 or 50 years ago, musicians didn’t make any money. They played to very small audiences in night clubs and road houses. Also, they had no protection on their records.

I’m always asking rock ’n’ roll people if they know who Betrillo is, and none of them do. Well, they wouldn’t have a dime if it weren’t for Betrillo, because he organized the musicians’ union way back at the end of the 30’s. And that is why they make money on their records. There wouldn’t be any white Rolls Royces or anything like that.

CREEM: Can you see the intersection point between your works and rock ’n’ roll? Burroughs: Well, I think that, in a way/ we’re both—I mean, of course, they’re operating in much more mass area, but the ideas are similar. Some of the content is similar: the drugs, etc. There are a number of places where we overlap.

CREEM: Did you see The Man Who Fell To Earth?

Burroughs: Yes. I thought it had some very interesting sections. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t think it was great, either.

CREEM: What did you think of Diamond Dogs? Have you heard it?

Burroughs: Vaguely, yes. It’s been a long time since I saw it, actually. Yeah* I thought Bowie did quite a good job there. I just didn’t think the film overall had that much impact. I thought the alien aspect was conveyed very well.

CREEM: No, no. Did you ever hear the record he made after you interviewed him in 1973? The one he made after reading half of Nova Express?

Burroughs: Oh, yeah, yeah. [Dryly 1 That is fun.

CREEM: What did you think of him when you met him? Did he seem to be the kind of guy who was bullshitting his way through life or did he seem to be walking the straight and narrow?

Burroughs: [Laughs] Well, neither one. He’s not bullshitting, he’s very, very clever and I think pretty calculating. I think he knows exactly what he’s doing and where he’s going and how to get there.

CREEM: Did Jimmy Page know who Betrillo was when you talked to him?

Burroughs: [Laughs] No. I’ll tell you one who would know is Mick Jagger. He’s a businessman, he went to thej London School of Economics.

CREEM: How is Junky, the motion picture, progressing? Burroughs: On again, off again, No Hollywood project is on until it’s on screen and it’s never completely dead until the whole film industry is dead. Many scripts have been battered around Hollywood as long as ten years, so I won’t say it’s dead. We have a script and people have expressed interest, so it may work out.

We talked an awful lot about whether Junky should be shot as a contemporary film, in a contemporary setting, and I said absolutely not. The reason is very simple because the whole junk scene has changed so unrecognizably since that time that, if you start shooting it in 1970, you might as well throw the book away and do another script.

As far as box office is concerned, it’s not very good box office. They don’t want to see people sticking needles in their arms.

CREEM: How did Patti Smith get involved in the filming of Junky?

Burroughs: Well, she simply said that she’d like to play a part if the film was produced. CREEM: What is there about her poetry that you like—if anything. ,

Burroughs: Well, she is good as a performer. It isn’t the poetry itself, it’s the way she puts it across. She’s a terrific performer, a great stage presence. To read the poetry doesn’t mean that much to me, but to see her perform it—the energy that she generates is really something. CREEM: So you don’t care for her poetry on the printed page then.

Burroughs: No. It’s something that’s made to be performed, it seems to me. CREEM: Your long-awaited new book, Cities Of The Red, Night, is scheduled for release later this year and, at over 700 pages, it’s going to be your longest book yet. Can you tell us something about it?

Burroughs: It’s got a very different plot to it. Plots and sub-plots. It’s very much a romantic play with trick endings and so on—so, for that reason, I don’t talk too rr\uch about it. I don’t want to give away the ending. [Laughter] CREEM: Is there any advice you’d like to give young writers?

Burroughs: I have an exercise I learned from a Mafia Don in Ohio: see everybody on the street before they see you. It^s quite interesting actually because, if you see everyone before they see you, they won’t see you.

And then you’ll find that somebody beat you.

Jeffrey Morgan

UFO SIGHTINGS EXPLAINED! 11

Scottish scientist Ian Anderson proudly displays the "Caledonia I" (built with a generous supply of platinum donated by the good doctor), belatedly propelling Scotland into the Space Age. To the strains of a bagpipe serenade, C-1 blasted off without hitch from the launching site on the shores of Loch Ness. There's only one drawback: the tartan fallout which rendered thousands tone deaf in nearby Wales. Asbestos knickers are being perfected for Scotland's next project: a manned space station on the sun . .

TERMINAL PUBERTY

Adolescence is a trying time. This year (again!) teens had the Rocky Horror Picture Show to help them forget school, zits, not scoring, not drinking, not driving . . . not doing ANYTHING generally regarded as "human. Why else do we become animals in those Wonder Years? Wotta ya got to lose? Nothing I Movie theatres across the country were jammed with troubled youths celebrating thei r mutant culture, secure in the knowledge that not only did nobody understand it, but it pissed them off to boot! How gross! How anarchistic! How'd their mothers let them out? Especially the daring youth at right, who's managed to violate every city statute, every moral scruple, every ragged principle of human decency we at this admittedly loose joint know of. Quick! Is your son wearing ballet shoes? Disco chains? Buck teeth? It may be later than you think!

Willard: The Rat That Ate Detroit

DETROIT—Six years after his last album release, Mitch Ryder is back on the airwaves of America with new product, as they say in the biz. How I Spent My Summer Vacation (Seeds & Stems), is being distributed by Pics International, which should have an outlet in your town. The single, “Tough Kid”, has garnered airplay in Cleveland, New York, Chicago, and naturally, Detroit and a good deal of the state of Michigan. The voice has survived, as has the energy, but is that enough to merit national attention?

We caught up with Willard (who did the cover pairtting for his album) while he was making dinner on a frosty January night. His idea of what we should write about him: “How about a big question mark?” Yeah. Well ... on tap right now is a musical stint on Saturday Night Live, studio time is booked “so we can keep up with what we’re writing,” and of course the endless road beckons. Canada’s out for now, but the band’s been venturing further and further out of the Midwestern rock belt as they gain in confidence . We watched his show at the Palladium in NYC, opening for Blondie, with a diminutive Ms. Harry at our shoulder, peering at the Furry One. Which seems to be most people’s attitude towards Mitch and his new band: intense curiosity.

Susan Whitall

CREEM Hack Blows Wad

MACOMB, ILL — Internationally-acclaimed BEAT GOES ON slave Rick Johnson. has set a new world record for turning out the short but intensely witty items.

Johnson, Macomb’s most eligible bachelor as well as Man With A Vision whose work has appeared in Dairy News, Modern Maturity, Jack & Jill, Industrial Waste Digest and others too obscure to mention, compiled a heap of twelve BGO’s in only two days.

“It wasn’t easy,” .said the youthful-but-desirable penman . “I had to miss Donahue both days!” When asked why he wasn’t sending all of his brief but incoherent pieces in at once, he laughed: “Don’t | worry, I really wrote ’em all. The existence of these items is as real as their lack of commercial potential.”

“Big” Rick, as he is referred to by his many rela-, tives, is now taking a short breather at the McDonough County Home for the Criminally Intellegent. But if he’s so smart, howcum he can’t spell “intelligent?” What does that mean, anyway?

Truman Capote