HOME: The heart of the city.

AGE: 29, but nobody believes him.

PROFESSION: Purveyor of pristine pop melodies; escort service for dachshunds; card.

HOBBIES: Forcing depraved lyrics upon helpless little melodies; racing poor little Dave Edmunds from pub to club to pub; drowning resurgent Brinsley Schwartz riffs in elbow-raised retrospection.

LAST BOOK READ: Cut-Rate Tape Editing by Johnny Bum.

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Remembered where he was the night before.

QUOTE: "Johnny Cash likes me; you will too!"

PROFILE: Puppy-boy pop convert with a floppy ear for what makes people sing, this chap has nurtured many a dusty riff to second and well-deserved wind. He virtually froths with hop-and-grain humor, combined irresistably with 90% cotton charm; with credentials like these, can Britt Ekland be far behind?

BEER: Boy Howdy!