MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to: MAIL Dept. .CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064 Birmingham, Ml 48012

FEET IN THE MUD, HEAD IN THE CLOUDS Thank you Simon Frith (to you I will my first born), for that outrageously candid collaboration of society's wealthiest square artist—the Bee Gees! Without the beautiful, the backward and the bald (who, I might say, has more class and style than 25, I repeat 25, Ted Nugents & Patti Smiths), where would all the "astonishingly unhip" rock 'n' rollers be? Where would I be? I am willing to risk ridicule—unlike many closet-listeners. Just remember, some of us "astonishingly unhip" are just as kinky as the rest of you, Thanks again, Simon.

Raven Alexander

Jafreau, LA

(Simon respectfully queries what the postage would be on a newborn sent "Special D" to Coventry, England. No Simon, it's not covered in your expenses.—Ed.)

ROADIE REPORT

A feeling of joy and relief struck me after reading your article on J.B. Fields. As former production manager for Kiss 1 lived and worked with the "Outlaw Man" for 3% years, and yes, he truly was a loving and respected friend. A real joy.

So thank you CREEM for letting us—"The men behind the scenes"— know that we are loved and respected and thought about.

Live Fast,

Mick Campise

Houston, TX

BACK TO SQUARE ONE

Thank you for the article on the Ramones. I grew up with rock V roll, and mellowed out with the like of Jackson Browne, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, etc. One night, the Ramones came to town. I went, more out of curiosity than anything else, besides the price was right. Well, I'm 29 and have seen everyone from early Dylan to the Who (no comparisons, please) and have to admit the Rambnes kicked my ass. Now that I'm addicted, it's great to see a magazine like you agree with me. Great article from beginning to end. Keep up the good work.

Billy Yanecko III

Pittsburgh, PA

EMPIRE WAISTS CAUSE CELL DETERIORATION

Thdre's only one word to describe "Some Girls": sa comana to laper teem a leenky ta buta lert te see whatung.

Stones interpreter,

Luverne, MN

(Geez, Minnesota sounds like a really exciting place to live.—Ed.)

GREETINGS FROM THE CASS CORRIDOR

After reading the guide to Detroit Rock, I ran to the stereo to get out the MC-5 album to play them...man were they ahead of their time. I would like to spit on the "Pigs"; aren't they disgusting? (I wonder where their mothers think they go at night.) The Motor City Bad Boys ought to come to Danville and play, they would really wake this town up. The Niggers are one of a kind; wouldn't it be great if all black bands went punk, I get tired of disco too. Maybe some of those bands could get Ted Nugent back in jamming position and not a Top Forty Teen Idol, remember Ted, don't forget your roots.

I want rock, Detroit rock,

Danville, VA

P.S. I would like to turn "Sonic" Fred Smith's'amps on 11.

(That's Fred ''Sonic" Smith, panther breath—Ed.)

ASTOUNDING REVELATIONS OF OUR TIME

About Jimmy Page forming the same lineup for Zeppelin aftehseeing a few gigs by the Jeff Beck group:

Who gives a shit??!!

Which band was the success??

For you morons who don't know, the successful band is the talePted one.

I know, SHUT UP..

Another Zeppelin Fan,

El Lay, CA

IN THE MINK 7

I'm writing this letter in hopes that you'll print it and the assholes it's directed at will read it (if they can read).

Ya see, I love Mink DeVille—so I call called up my "favorite" radio station and asked the real cool deejay if he'd spin something by Willy and the boys. Well, this total weenie*(surpassed in total weenie-ness only by Linda McCartney) refused, telling me words equivalent to "Mink DeVille sucks elephants," "Mink DeVille wears dirty diapers on their collective heads," "Mink DeVille swims in toilets," etc. Well listen you snide little phlegma—Mink DeVille is great—and you have the mentality of whoever wrote "Crimson And Clover" (Robert Christgau?)!!!

Thank You Miss Fred Jones Houston, TX V

(Hey/ Don't knock the rock...the man who wrote "Crimson And Clover" is at least two social classes above any sanforized wax-spinner. Respect your elders and go find Tommy James for your penance. Report back to Lt. Kronk at this address.—Ed.)

FEAR & LOATHING IN PASTURE PATTIE LAND SO....! you didn't print my poem to Elvis Costello. That's it. I've had it with you people. It's too late now; You're really in for it. I'm sending you my sister's entire collection of Jethro Tull albums.

L.R.

Tariffville, CT

(She's got the entire collection? AHAHAHAHA. —Ed.)

CREEMATION CATCHES ON IN CANADA

Gabba Gabba Hey, Flamin' GrooviesHL.so I see this magazine and it has some hippie on the cover, right? Then I sete the word guaranteed to send a chill down yer spine and put a smile to the lips—-so I snatch it up, get a slurpee and a couple bags of cheezies, scurry home, throw on "Cretin Hop" and start reading.

This Altman guy—he's pretty good, eh? I mean, he knows his stuff, doesn't he? I mean, first time I've ever read something about Tommy, Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee and approved of it. And that's something, fab listeners. Pictures, too—how keen—and in their good clothes yet. Holy Orgasmic, Batman. Real Gear.

Christ, I like this Altman .guy.

Does Anybody Know Lennon's Address?

Warren (Nuclear Age) Kinselle Calgary, Alberta, CANADA

EMPLOYEE INSUBORDINATION High! How's everyone this morning? We've had, and are having, the greatest time! Wish you were here. Too bad it's snowing. Can't take the yacht out now.

Day #2. So sorry—due to yacht accident are unable to make it to the office all week.

Kim, Jack, Debbie, Therese Sandusky,.OH

(This is not a CREEM holiday. What do you think this is, a hippie commune? Your tickets to see Andy Gibb have been fed into the office shredder. Read this andsweep.—Ed.) The Clash in CREEM! Now I know there's a god. The Clash are the best group on the planet (or at least they're tied with Patti and the Ramones). The album should be out in America by the time you read this so all you rock 'n' roll kids"out there, do like the Subhuman sez and get off your timid fucked up middle class college student asses (thanx Lou) and go buy Garageland or whatever they decide to call it in the States 'cause if you like the Stones, if you like the Who, if you like the Ramones, you'll have what amounts to a religious experience when you hear the Clash! The flip side of the new single, "Jail Guitar Doors," even sounds like Mott the Hoople. I mean these guys are it. Forget what the press tells you about safety pins and swastikas—the Clash recently played a free gig for 68,000 kids in the biggest protest seen in Britain since WWH (you do remember World War II, don't you): a Rock Against Racism rally. The headline in Melody Maker was CLASH FIGHT NAZIS.

MAYBE THEY CAN PLAY SKOKIE

Anyway the Clash are classic rock 'n' roll, and they're coming to the States so GET READY!

Till Victory,

State of Shock

Rockaway Beach/Redondo Beach

Garageland, CA

(Couldn't wait, so we sent CREEM spies over to the Victoria Park rally. You'll also want to check out X-Ray Spex and Tom Robinson Band, who also participated-^see the feature on Robinson on pg. 34.—Ed.)

GOD ONLY GAVE US SIX

First: If Elvis Costello thinks there were never any good American bands (I suppose he's never heard of the Velvets) he can shove his Clark Kent glasses up his ass.

Next: In reply to Kelly Broughton's letter in the July issue: Okay we all know Jagger's an asshole, but there are better reasons for attacking someone, then the fabt that he bad-mouthed one of your precious artists. (Besides you must admit Patti Smith has become a bit of a poser.) And to attack a man for getting old is truly an exquisite display of fucked up thinking. The aging process is bne that mere mortal man has no control over. And if you really think Iggy and other "Gods that walk the earth" Have deserted you, then your perspective on rock 'n' roll is in sad shape. There are no gods, we all work on the same seven notes.

Next: Thanks CREEM for an exceptional mag.

T. Byrnes

Mahwah, NJ THE BASHER HAS HIS FANS These letter writers and their problems! At 17 I have no friends of either sex due to my total dedication to real rock 'n' roll. And one of my cult faves has let me down again! I mean, hey, I really identify with English Pub Rock 'cause Green Bay has more bars per person than anywhere in the world (you learned something today). As a matter of fact, I think Graham Parker and the Rumour are the artists of the 70's, right up there with the Who, Stones and Ex Pistols as one of the World's Greatest Rock Bands. (Haven't got my Clash import yet, so we'll see what Simon Says). And my treasured Brinsley Schwarz cutout is the only thing undfer 160 decibels I can stand besides my treasured John Cale records and "Everything Stops For Tea" (just wanted you to know that I have taste as well as a vast knowledge of pop music). And I love Nick Lowe. "Pure Pop" is up with lOcc as a pop crucification/resurrection. I mean, some jaded, superficial critic says it will be interesting to see him tour playing the pawn in a sales game he rants against. "Hey," I say, "Nick wouldn't let me down." Well, music for money, hey Nick? I see you're going to appear on the "12:00 Event." Now that's what I call a Lowe blow. And now the world knows about him, but I listened to the 1st AM station to play "Ca Plane Pour Moi." For a few days I had Plastic Bertrand ALL TO MYSELF! Thanks Billy Altman for helping me realize the ludicrousness and esctasy of my blind fandom, in my case "If he doesn't have a gold record and gets an Afrom Robert Christgau, then I'll love him." Just heard the new Stones single, it's a killer. If only they were a cult band.

TURN TO PAGE 72

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12

So It Goes,

Ann R. Kist Green Bay, WI

TAKE JOCKO, TOO Boy Howdy!: First the New Yorker satirized you, then Mad Magazine—it looks like rock humor will be the Next Big Thing! Always ready to cash in, I'm inaugurating Jocko's Jokes with this free introductory riddle—

Q. What did George Washington say -to Eric Clapton?

A: Take my wife, please!

The Big Jocko - Somerville, MS

SAY WHAT?

Jethro Tull...? Didn't they used to be a rock group or something?

With Regret,

Tom Miesch Arlington, TX