In terms of hair these days, a guy can't get arrested. Short of growing it inwards (Elton John?), it seems that anything goes.

Not to betray any galloping senility (see J. Holmstrom's punk lib manifesto, Jan. CREEM letters section), but ah, for the good old days... At seventeen my parents tossed me out of the house for having long hair. I mean, back then we had a code and you stuck to it. You grew your hair long and got tossed out of the house for being such a rebel like all your other friends or you were an asshole. Period. (That, too.) And when we said long, we meant it. None of this little-bit-over-the-ears John Denver stuff (J. Holmstrom, beware!)—no, we saw right through that. We were talking Jim Dandy—and for everybody!

With the exception of Gene Simmons, who also still believes in platforms and who imaginatively augments his mop with a wondrous hair-knob, and Shawn Phillips, who appears to have retired in abject grief since a motorboat foreshortened his Rapunzel riff, nobody today gives a shit about hair. Ted Nugent's waistrlength moss is just as acceptable as Johnny Rotten's greasy spikes. Willy De Ville's D. A. is as hip as Peter Frampton's Farrah Fawcett. And Charlie Watts! OK, I know, Charlie looks fine for a 40ish bank clerk who's into whips on the side. But for a rock star?!? Back when Long was King and thou had no other hairstyle before Him, we would've burned Charlie at the drumstick!

All of which is not to mention the girls. Of course, in the old days we didn't really have any girls around our rock 'n' roll (and don't throw any Janis or Gracie mutations in my face) (and, hey, watch it: we were getting laid left and right; no mohos here). But for the most part, though it wasn't as strictly codified, the girls kept their hair long, too. Nowadays, on the other hand, when the girls seem to be taking over rock 'n' roll, they're getting away with everything, just like the guys. From Patti's fright-wig-cum-white-dreadlocks to Kiki Dee's Mary Tyler Moore to Debbie Harry's platinum-in-chains, no-' body knows the diff. If you really want to talk about Janis...my god, she's probably rolling over in her grave!

Believe me, like I say, we the people are just as adrift. Once round the mezzanine at Led Zep's Garden show will prove that: short, long; wet look, dry look; curly, straight, and lightly bobbed; side part, center-part, and everything in between. Nor have opr onetime soul brothers and sisters fared any better. For Earth, Wind & Fire out at Nassau Coliseum, it was a hair cacophony of short afroed, long afroed, dreadlocked, corn rolled, and shavedand-spit-shined heads. Why, even down at the viper's pit, CBGB's, where one would have expected them to develop some sort of cohesive hair code, now that Time and Newsweek have told them who they are, the variety still defies sensible regulation.

/(On a more serious and personal note, I might add that up until three weeks ago a close friend and colleague of ours sported long hair. Perhaps I shouldn't name names, but...you should see Billy Altman's haircut! What is going on???)

It's not that hair is getting shorter, as most seem to believe; it's that hair is getting more irregular.

Now the Hair Dilenrtma is one more problem I don't need in 1977, considering the Clothing Dilemma, the Music Dilemma, the Political Dilemma, and the fact that the landlord ain't giving me this apartment for peanuts. Besides, I feel that if we cpuld get together on our collective hair style, maybe the rest would fall into place. Maybe, just maybe, if we could solve hair, we could finally make some sense of this time we live in. We could then stand prbud as we entered the 198Q's and proclaim: "Look, we had (short, greasy, green, whatever) hair in the '70s. Look, world, the '70s was $ real decade after all!"

I know fve been back and forth—-or, rather, up and down (currently up, above the e&rs)—on the hair issue myself, but I am willing to work with you on it. As Mick said at the Festival: "Peeeople! If we are all one, let's show we're all one." BANG! ;