MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham, Ml 48012

HALLELUJAH!

I'm writing this letter to say Jimmy Page, I love you!! And I think it's about time everybody bent down and praised the Lord we have Led Zeppelin! Without them who would we turn to? Kiss? Alice Cooper? HELL NO! I'd like to say thanks for doing a damn good job, and to all the folks at CREEM who give us Led Zeppelin the right way, GOOD! We all love ya! To the editor: You're great! Also, are you tall, dark & handsome?

A Led Zeppelin Follower,

Diana H.

Mt. Morns, MI (What1 do you think?—Ed.)

FRIENDLY ADVICE

Your October and September issues were magnificent. In your Sept, mag your Steve Miller and Fleetwood Mac/Small Faces articles were magnificent. But the best was the picture of Nicks Comes Alive! In your October issue the Frampton article was great, but I hate "How To Be A Rock Critic" by Rick Johnson. What do you mean Stevie Nick's voice makes you feel like your undies have been in a waffle iron? Watch your mouth, Johnson!

Chris C.

Chicago, IL

(Mr.. Johnson tried to take your advice but found it impossible to watch his mouth due to a fleshy appendage which blocked his view. —Ed.)

ADDRESSEE UNKNOWN

I was wondering if you could help me out. You see, I am trying to locate a recent address for Mr. David Cassidy. .

The reason is I have some musical compositions I would like him to hear. I am a songwriter .who performs his own material and feel that Cassidy's voice would be the right one for my songs.

Paul Whitfield

Fraserville, Ontario

(Since his recent marriage David has achieved puberty and his voice is considerably lower. Are you still interested?—Ed.)

IN THE PINK

I thoroughly enjoyed Ira Robbins' discourse on Floydian history in your October issue, and was heartened to read that there are apparently quite a few of us who hbld Syd Barrett in the high esteem to which he is entitled.

But I would like to know what Barrett has been doing since the release of his second solo album in 1970, and whether he has any plans to record in the foreseeable future.

Yours Truly

Bill Hamersly

Centreville, VA

(In the words of the other Floyders themselves, Syd has "withdrawn so far away that, as far as we're concerned, he s no longer there. There are always rumors of more Syd Barrett solo albums, but you have to live at least partly in the real world to cut wax.—Ed.)

OVER THE EDGE

In regards to your Rock 'N' Roll News (Oct. issue), the "Son of Sam" on James Marshall Hendrix's "Purple Haze" indeed can be heard amongst other space debris lyrics.

But what amused me most after all these years of overhearing is the distinct throat-clearing before the lead vocal comes in! (Only heard on headphones.)

Ron Moss

Huntington Beach, CA (Some people laugh at dwarfs, too.—Ed.)

GOING PLACES

Your write-up on Ted "the Madman" Nugent was a BMF! Really! Susan Whitall should go really far. Ted is absolutely the most wild character ever introduced to. real rock. 1 wish I had him as a persona! friend. Just to get up on the, stage and strut along with him would be a complete rush in itself. He has a different kind of fancy footwork. And it is phenomenal as hell. Turn him up you Muthas!

Love ya Ted!!

Julie

Raleigh, NC

(We'd pass along your kind words to Susan but she's out fondling the downy bottom of a wild boar.—Ed.)

AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION

No thanks to a Mr. Kevin Doyle for his wiseass review of One Of The Boys. 1 would watch my step, Kev, because you know what's gonna happen to Lester Bangs when Roger Daltrey finally catches up to him, DONCHA!

Or, better yet, you should be besieged by the heartbreak of Bangsitosis—a malady which exclusively attacks rock critics of the wasted persuasion. It stems from eating cold pizza and smoking cheap dope. Early symptoms include typing in the dark and dancing to Iggy Pop records. In its advanced stages, the afflicted critic can be found watching Mike Douglas (because the co-host is Julie Nixon Eisenhower) and finally just before .'expiration (shudder, shudder), calling one hell of a Rock and Roller a "schmuck."

Naaah, 1 think I'd rather see Rog take care of Mr. Doyle. (Details an Nov. 1976 CREEM.)

Love,

Laura

N.Y.C., NY

(Kevin: "1. Yeah, but will it make my moustache grow like Lester's? Or at least like Julie's? 2. It is urgent that you produce and send a urine sample to the National Center for Disease Control, Atlanta—Department of Epidemiology. Immediately.")

PUCKER UP

I was absolutely fuming after reading the article about Shaun Cassidy by Rick Johnson.

Shaun sings, acts and looks terrific—better than all those burned out weirdos in your magazine. He looks decent—who else can you say that about?

Why don't you just shut your mouth, open your beady eyes and listen to a little of his music? Maybe you'll learn something.

Cars go 55 m.p.h. on Route 69. You should try going 95.

"Shaun the Maun" Lover

Chicago, IL

(Squirrels have inwardly curved teeth that make it impossible to get away from one that has bitten you. You should try offering a finger to one. —Ed.) '

POSTAGE DUE

I'm hoping you can help fine with a small problem I'm having with my 15-year-old son. Who by the way is an avid reader of CREEM. In fact, as soon as it is delivered to our local store, they put it aside for Ray, just so he doesn't miss an issue. Enough of this however.

A few days ago he heard that Mick, Jagger wrote "Signed, Sealed, Delivered". I said, no I don't think so, I think Elvis Presley recorded it years ago. My son didn't say anything when I said Elvis was involved in "Signed, Sealed, Delivered," but I get a-feeling he thinks I'm wacky. Much luck and success with CREEM. Sincerely,

Mrs. Nancy M. Schroeder Caldwell, NJ

(Stevie Wonder wrote the song in question... and we think it's time for your medication.— Ed.).

ANOTHER IDENTITY CRISIS C'mon you guys! Who in the hell do you think you're kidding? That is not Gene Simmons of Kiss on piage 8, that's his mother's maid! This picture is the true Gene Summons of Kiss at age 18. My Gawd, do you think you're gonna get away jivith that!?? NOT ON YOUR LIFE! REMEMBER, we are watching you!

Lady Demon Monticello, FL

(Are you any relation to Lady Coca-Cola?— Ed.)

THE MISSING LINK I want to thank you for the story on Geils (October issue). Let me just say.it's about time you realized what your magazine was missing. You were long overdue for a story on them. Stop wasting your pages and covers on groups who are only out for the money and don't have any talent. Gejls are the ones with the real talent.

Geils' No. 1 Fan Flushing, MI

(How would you like to purchase 48,972 back issues?—Ed.)

ROCK 'N' ROLL HEAVEN Why don't you ever do any stories on The Doors? I saw Lester Bangs' article on them in the Illustrated History of Rock W Roll. But why don't you do one in CREEM? It's expensive to buy those big books, you know.

Carly Westeon Montreal, CANADA

(Have you ever heard of a "deathly silence?"— Ed.)

DYNAMIC DUO

Well, CREEM, you finally came through for me when you told the real "idiot" what Bowie did for The Ig. I mean the two are just the greatest. Also, thanks for the article on Iggy, he really deserves it. You've restored my belief in CREEM.

Love,

A believer in PA.

P.S. Do you really publish letters or did I just waste 13C?

(Both.—Ed.)

UP AGAINST THE WALL, DUDLEy DORIGHTS!!! * Canadian beer, paper money, and even Canadian rock 'n' roll.

We sat and listened to this smug asshole knowing fully well the consequences that his wonderful country would suffer if Keith was convicted and put in jail.

All the beer in Toronto could not hold back the rabid onslaught of staunch rock & rollers. We could see it now—the cities in flames, rioting in the streets, wide open lootings, catastrophy everywhere you look—while Keith bangs his tin -cup against the bars asking when he's getting his next TV dinner.

Pat & Blair Miller

Those lovable, roving itinerant rock &

rollers

Somewhere in the South (Sounds like a good party...are we invited?— Ed.)

SIGNING OFF

I am completely convinced that all CREEM staff members are dropouts from journalism schools established throughout the world. Furthermore, I have figured out "that when CREEM destroys an album by review, one should buy it because the half-witted jerks that have been hired to review albums are escapees from the Glen Eden Mental Institution, at best. Most hail from state institutions across America. You ought to refer them to the record rater ad which is published in your mag stating "no experience necessary"!

Sign me,

Disgusted sophomore from Moo U..presently residing in Madison Heights, MI.

(It is an unusual arrangement we have with the mental institutions of America, but the employment of these unfortunates keeps our overhead down. Would you rather pay $10.95 an issue to read John Kenneth Galbraith on A Dreem Date With Lou Reed? Yes? Well, we're.working on it.—Ed.)

FADS AND FASHIONS I'll say this for Mr. Bangs, he just might bring back moustaches.

Burn, baby, burn,

Dale A. Hoyt Marcellus, NY (Or something.—Ed.)

EAGLE EYE

More Eagles! You know, in a way this is the year of the Eagles. You have to admit their Hotel California album is great and possibly the best of the year. They are constantly gaining more fans and their music is good and refreshing.

What's with the pic of Glenn Frey and Don Henley in Backstage, September issue of CREEM? What happened to Gorgeous Glenn's moustache? Don't tell me he shaved it off! Well,

I guess a moustache-less Glenn is better than no Glenn. Right?

Love, Peace, Harmony & More Eagles,

Linda F.

San Francisco, CA

(We think your love beads are too tight.—Ed.)

KLAATU BARATA NIKTO I noticed that you people at CREEM don't always tell It like it is. So you people had better tell it straight on this one. I'd like to know about the album Klaatu. Who is it by, and don't give me this Beatles junk. And you'd better give me the facts or your next issue of CREEM will be burned in a sacrificial ritual that we have down here annually. I hope the Gods will be pleased. Allan Scherr Owings Mills, MD

(Ward Cleaver. Are you happy now?—Ed.)

TURN TO PAGE 78

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12

ANARCHY IN THE LATRINE When are you guys gonna gel someone to write a story. Orl the only true punksters existing? J'm speaking, of course, of the Audrey Space Lepers apd Urine Band, whose current album, Dry Hec jut's, is number 150 on the FM charts and whose single, "Eating Styrofoam," is cruising at 105 on Billboard's "Hot 100." I he Space Lepers' first disc, "Good Record," sold copies in excess of 100, and this new "concept" album of theirs is real butt-kickin' rock 'n' roll with no punches pulled, even though some songs, such as "Mystery Lunchmeat," lack the heavy metal of such classics as "1 Hate People." Let's see some articles on this fast-rising punk group or the fan clubs Of Peter Baldspot and Humphrey Butane are gonna getchal! (Disco sucks!)

Leslie Zitts C.B.G.B.'s New York', NY

(Don't hold your breath...on second thought;s be our guest. Ed.)

WIDE WORLD OF WOOKIES I wish to thank yosu for your wonderful review of Stur Wots [Sept. 771. 1 agree it is the most ..beautiful movie in history.

If possible, I'd like to make an appeal to you and your readers. To date I've seen it 56 times, but I'm trying to obtain more information about the Millennium Falcon. She is the finest flying ship I've ever seen. 1 love this ship. Indeed, any soul out there who likes Star Wars in general is more than welcome to write me.

Again, thanks for your kind review and please do some more. I will be looking forward to them. Yours.tryly,

Lynn Folsom Los Angeles, CA

(Plasticene people with lookirtQ glass eyes are waiting to take you away.—Ed.)

A HEEP OF TROUBLE I don't like what you said about Uriah Heep's new album Firefly. 1 don't think you know what the hell you're talking about because if it weren't for Ken Hensley, there would be no U.H. 1 seen them live and they kick B.O.C.'s ass, so they are far from imbeciles. When a group puts out 12 albums in seven years, that is quite an accomplishment for most of today's'bands, don't you think?

Yours truly,

Heep Freak *

(Jeff Lucas)

Wingate, PA

(Twelve albums in seven years? We call that pressing your luck.—Ed.)

PICTURE PERFECT I'm writing about your October issue. Specifically your Frampton article. I thought it was great! Unlike another well-known magazine which had him on the cover then went on to practically incriminate him on the inside.

Much unlike your pictures which show him happy and really enjoying his work "they" have one shot of the back of his head; one of his 320-lb. bodyguard squeezing his guts out and one of his dog eating his arm off. I'd like to thank your photographers for not being as jealous as the before mentioned magazine's. Love,

Mell Brabson Kendall Park, NJ

(Huh! You should see the outtakes; one of the inside of Peter's left nostril, one of the 320-lb. bodyguard gnawing the dog's tail and a dynamic shot of the canine engaged in his morning, constitutional.—Ed.)

WISHFUL THINKING Give me one week alone with Linda Ronstadt and Stevie Nicks, 10 cases of Boy Howdy!, a good supply of herb, and a water bed. Then call Red Cross and make my funeral arrangements. Just a great way to end it.

E.V.

Youngstown, OH

(You should be on the stage...there's one leaving in 10 minutes.—Ed.)

A CRY FOR ELP

I just had the misfortune to accompany a true ELP fan to their much-publicized "concert of the season—including a seventy-piece orchestra!" I don't know what season the ads were referring to, but if it was for the summer of '77, I'd rank it one above high school graduations and three below athlete's foot.

There was no orchestra (po great loss) and the one mildly interesting aspect of the show was a few theatrics from Palmer and his spinning drum set. Whatever if is they do, they do well and for long periods of time during each song. If you've got about eight dollars to shoot down the tubes to hear the Nutcracker Suite a la ragtime, I'll sell you Johnny Rotten's first toothbrush and a twelve-page color catalogue of toothbrushes of the stars.

Peter Tchaikovsky and Associates Boy Howdy, TN

(Mail them collect to CREEM Magazine's mailroom.—Ed.)