MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham, MI 4801?

GABBA GABBA HUH?

As a subscriber to your rag, and in the mame to justice & rise in full punk regalia, I beseech you, do a girl a favor and print this!

I saw the Ramones in concert last night with Petty and the Heartbreakers and "King Bee" a local "punk band." Anyways, there I was in the front row in my customary Boy Howdy! and Levi's I've worn chronically since they were virgin stiff way back in 72. Now I'm proud to say, none of the boys in the band had any better. But honestly, guys, they were so gooood! 1 sang along with every song, did the Blitzkreig till the cows came home, and got loaded on my bop!

However, even though outside it was 95+ degrees, Joey sweated his way through the entire concert and two encores without removing his black leather. Don't keep us in the dark any longer, fellas—is he deformed?

No freak like a RAMONES freak,

Nicci

Portland, OR

(Joey is not deformed—just dis informed...Nobody told him it was hot outside.—Ed.)

THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS

Whut's wid youse guyz anyways? Yez neva prints nunna my letters. I'm baginnin' ta buleve dat youse guyz writes all doze letters yaselfs. Kurrect? So gimme a brake will yas? Print dis wun ok? Tanx.

Signed,

Mike Ramone

Da Bronx

Nu Yauck, NY

(What's with you English majors anyway?— Ed.)

GONE FISHIN'

Charles Auringer

Art Director

CREEM

Dear Mr. Auringer:

I am a freelance photographer and am interested in submitting samples of my work to Fishing World. I have some 35mm transparencies which I feel might be appropriate material.

Would you please advise me as to proper procedure for submitting material. I would also be interested in receiving a sample copy.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Very truly yours,

Victoria A. Brown

(Did you hear what happened when they crossed a Coho with a Wall-eye and a Muskie? They got a Kowalski, but they had to teach it how to swim.—Ed.)

BATTED FOUL

Please answer this important question. Recently at a sale of old 45's I got one called "Bad Boy Willie" b/w "Goin' Back To Memphis." The singer was Gene Simmons. What I'd like to know is: Is this the same Genu Simmons of Kiss? Thanks a lot,

Marly Friedman

Laurel, MD

(Sorry...just another vocal chord in Bat's cloth ing. Ed.)

WHAT WE NEED IS THE UGLIEST MAN IN ROCK N' ROLL??

You refer to Dick Manitoba as "Rock n' Roll's Handsomest Man" alla the time. Bull. Take a look at Jimmy Page, Rodger Taylor and Paul Stanley! They are handsome. (Frampton don't count. Frampton is referred to as "pretty", if ya catch my drift.) Who ever told Manitoba he's handsome when he looks like my Aunt Myrtle's pet Gibbon, George? May I quote Monty Python when I say that he looks like a "large amount of lark's vomit"?

Fraulein Bedlam Genheimer

Mama of Air-Wreck,

(Where do you think he gets his gusto from?) Just a tokin' in the rain,

Chicago, IL

(We always thought Genheimer got his gusto from the same place Manitoba got his looks. —Ed.)

LAZARUS COME HOME

I thought the interview Patrick Goldstein did with Ray Manzarek, about his new group and about Jim Morrison, was really good. But couldn't you have put in a better picture of Morrison? One without that ugly beard.

Kim Page

Montreal, Canada

(We tried, but we couldn't seem to raise Jim for a new photo session.&emdashEd.)

THE LIGHTS ARE ON BUT NOBODY'S HOME

So somebody hit Jimmy Page in the hand with a cherry bomb. (I'll bet it was Kenneth Anger.) Jesus! I remember when they used to throw rolls of toilet paper. (Does that make me an old timer?) Well, it ain't the summer of love...

J3

Grass Lake, MI

P.S. Excuse my handwriting, punctuation, spelling, etc...I am writing this whilst knocked out on reds and contemplating the '60s.

P.S.S. If Lester Bangs ever brings his band to Detroit—I'm gonna hit him with a ripe tomato.

(OK, but Lester would really prefer a taco. —Ed.)

LICK ME I'M A LOLLIPOP

I beseech you to lend me wise counsel! Last night the most bewildering dream was mine. In it, the bodies of all Starz members were found hideously butchered in my backyard. After the constabulatory hoopla subsided, my best friend and I repaired to the nearest Burger King for some Whoppers. (We had, mind you, just seen the abovementioned gory panorama.) Apropos of anything?

Confusedly,

Elidi Mori

San Diego, CA

(Cannibals!—Ed.)

EAST MEETS WEST

Confucious say: Punk Rockers are just what their name implies.

A Lady

(or am I?),

Greensboro, NC

P.S. I espouse this with premonition.. They are mere pogrom.

(Boy Howdy! says: When in doubt...Whip it out!—Ed.)

BILLY ALTMAN IS THE VOICE FOR A MUTE YOUTH

Thank you very much for your article "Iggy: The Idiot Speaks" in the September 1977 issue of CREEM. You have the most incredible way •of writing about Iggy. I love Iggy or the idea of Iggy which is amazing because I have never met him. I can't begin to explain or describe it but your writings help me understand more and seem directly connected to my own thoughts about Iggy. Your description of him as being "terrible and lovely at the same time..." is so close to my own vision of Iggy. It's neat to read something written by you and see my own thoughts there—thoughts which I find difficult to articulate.

Thanks,

Francie

Birmingham, MI

SCUBA DOOBIE DUPA

Aw Billy ain't that a shame, Jonathan isn't using his gifts, isn't living up to his potential. What a senseless waste of talent. Maybe you should take the matter up with the dean.

Speaking of the dean, I mean our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christgau, maybe He can use his protrusive position in the community to find out why Hair has been revived. Or do some fieldwork to determine why France has never produced any rock 'n' roll. You know, do something useful instead of making smartass remarks about ABBA.

Lastly, why didn't A. Wreck ask Ann Wilson if she sings "Baron" Barracuda after the. third verse? What a senseless waste of interpersonal human dynamics.

Blub Blub Hey!

Diver Dan

Pee Ess. Welcome back I.C.R. & Mad Peck. Is the Phantom lurking nearby?

(Are you sure somebody hasn't cut your air hose?—Ed.)

IGGY IS A JIMMY OSTERBERG

So what if I am sheltered by my parents and go to a Catholic school—I'm human too, ya know. Anyway, I work in my dad s insurance office (listen, if you ever need coverage on a car or something...) and no one here has even HEARD of Iggy Pop much less know what his real name is. They're all into Ray Coniff, Herb Alpert and such. So here I come Into work, an unassuming 17-year-old, with a question on my lips and CREEM in my hand. I DO have The Idiot (insurance is full of them, I relate to it) and I like the alburh, I really do. But What is his real name? And Who is he, really? David Bowie in die? Luigi Vercotti gone straight?

So what if I skip Sunday School sometimes. I need an answer, or I'll make myself throw up and send it to you.

Frankly,

Dianne Dorsey

West Palm Beach, FL

P.S. Please tell David Bowie I have all his albums. Please tell Iggy Pop I think he's cute and the girls at the office think he's gross. Also, I'm not sure I understand Dee Dee Ramone...

(We regret to inform that YOU have been cancelled.—Ed.)

SWITCH & SWISH

I rarely write to magazine publications at all, being the obeying housewife that I am, yet I feel this is important. It seems you sickos have brainwashed my son into thinking writing for your publication to be more important than his life of leisure here at the Estate. Our guests are often tormented by the pulsating noise coming from my son's room. I've only been in there twice and I suppose you cater to those subhuman monsters he adorns his walls with; creatures calling themselves the Eno, Bowie, the Roxy Music and a truly pitiful deformity going by the title of the Lou Reed. Despite my negative feelings concerning his writing for your publication, he has threatened that if his material is turned down, he will have a sex change and seek matrimony with the Lou Reed. Please, I beg you, save my son. Print his writings. This marriage to the Lou Reed cannot materialize. After all, what would the neighbors think?

Sincerely,

Billy Williams' Mother

Estate 5-9-15

Remake/Remodeled

Atlanta, GA

(You can rest assured; it will not only be the times that are a-changin'.—Ed.)

WORD WART

IRONY is your German Teacher awarding you a three-year outstanding student certificate and giving a C for the semester.

FASCINATION is listening to the Who.

ENRAPTURE(ment?) is being at a Led Zeppelin concert.

BEWILDERMENT is hearing "Bohemian Rhapsody" for the first time.

AMUSEMENT is seeing a picture of Rod Stewart in his undies.

DELIGHT is getting a new record (magazine, bong, what have you).

REVULSION is reading a Lisa Robinson interview, review, article, etc...

Killer Keller

The Walking Dictionary

Seattle, WA

(DULL is your letter.—Ed.)

HE DON'T GET IT

I don't quite understand what the term "selfindulgence" is. The MOODY BLUES were nearly crucified by such terms. Why? Why do shit-kickers like TED NUGENT and RICK DERRINGER get away with wasting half of each song with a bunch of CHICKEN SCRATCH at the end of their guitars? The MOODIES tried to advance rock 'n' roll a few years and' cos rock 'n' roll ain't ready yet look who gets called selfindulgent.

Why is it so terrible that JUSTIN HAYWARD doesn't burn across each song with a 1 minute 45 second lead solo? Why is it so terrible that GRAEME EDGE won't bore his listeners with wasteful banging on his percussion-moog?

I ask you, self-indulgent? Perhaps outrageous is a better word.

Sincerely,

Geoff Cresap

NYC, NY

(Perhaps you should eat a dictionary.—Ed.)

BETTER THAN HEROINE

So strange is your magazine, it is like a drug because it is so addictive, it also does things to the mind, my old lady threatened to send me to a psychiatrist, only since I started reading your stale excuse for making a living. All the same I don't hate you like most readers.

Signing off,

Acid Annie

Cranford, NJ

(Where did she threaten to send you before you started reading?—Ed.)

TURN TO PAGE 79

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 14

SUZIE Q IS WRITE

I'm writing about the article written by Suzi Quatro.

First of all, it's really great seeing her again...I was beginning to think something happened to her.

I think she's absolutely right. Women are in that business to show people the talent they have as musicians. I'm not saying that they shouldn't be sexy on stage, because a lot of men certainly are but, the sound of music comes first. Right on Suzi.

J.S.

Miami, FL (Sez you.—Ed.)

A BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT OR CONDIMENT?

I always read every item in your magazine. Even the desperate attempts to attract new subscribers (a Bruce Foster album?). I have to say that I love you. All those people who say your magazine has no taste are absolutely right. Rock 'n' Roll is not and hopefully won't ever be a wine-sipping art. It's supposed to be fun like Darcy Diamond's write-up on the Sex Pistols or Jaan Uhelszki on Hall & Oates. Anyway, if you don't like the stuff that's written, you can always cut out the pictures.

Christina,

New York, -NY

(Is that like when we don't like a particular letter, we don't have to print it?—Ed.)

WHO'S REALLY WHO

I have news that will shock the music world. I know the true identities of the members of Kiss. They are actually the Fab Four! That's right, John, Paul, George and Ringo. I didn't believe it at first until I'd heard and seen some of the clues. Ferinstance, "Baby Driver" played at 16 rpm sounds just like parts of "Hey Jude." Also, if you look at the Destroyer album cover with a magnifing [sic] glass, you can see the faces of the four Beatles as they used to look. It's there, believe me. Just think—everybody is, trying to get the Beatles back together again when they never broke up.

The Electro-Therapy Kid

New Castle, DE

(Right...and being The Parliament/Funkadelics is what Chicago does on weekends. —Ed.)

TV EYE TIME-WARP

I know it's a long time till October, but as you say "the early idiot catches the worm."

Anyway:

OCTOBER 31st IS THE 10th ANNIVER SARY OF THE STOOGES FIRST SHOW!!!

THE issue yoy guys put around then should be a SPECIAL STOOGES ISSUE!! Ya dig? And do a history of Iggy and the boys, Jimmy Osterberg's life story, reprints of old Stooges stories/record reviews. Tellwhat all de guys are doin' now (is Rock really livin with his mother, has James really gone straight?). Memorial, for Zeke and Dave. Are ya getting the idea?

This is an important letter, and an IMPORTANT date. The birth of REAL rock! Yeh, the Stones were cool, the Who too, and for that matter, the Kinks. But it took THE STOOGES to bring the taste to rock.

You might just turn a few more people onto Iggy, ya know, and give New Iggy fans, like me, some really good info and a cheap thrill t'boot!!

Just think! Hallowe'en, and everyone has dressed-up like Iggy, ^banging on doors screaming "I FEEL ALRIGHT! FEEL ALRIGHT!"!

Gee-Wizz!

PLEASE DO IT!

DO IT FOR ME!

FOR IGGY'S FANS!

DO IT FOR THE STOOGES!

FOR ROCK AND ROLL!

thank you for your time,

de l'ame pour l'ame...

Jon Windham

Dora, AL

P.S. Remember, the chant THIS All Hallows is: "I FEEL ALRIGHT! I FEEL ALRIGHT!"

(Sorry we jumped the gun...checkout The Godfather of Punk Rock in THIS issue.—Ed.)

HE'LL HAVE HIS WELL DONE

"Hot" singer/hero John Davidson has remodeled his act to include the following "blazing numbers":

Bad Co.'s "Burnin' Sky," Deep Purple's "Burn," Dwight Twilley's "I'm On Fire," The Doors' "Light My Fire," The Move's "Fire Brigade," Bob Seger's "The Fire Down Below," Free's "Fire and Water," James Taylor's "Fire and Rain," Elvis' "Burning Love," Blue Oyster Cult's "Cities On Flame," Kiss' "Flaming Youth." (His favorite album is Hotter Than Hell.)

I hope this is sick enough to be printed in your rag.

Warmly,

Jack Cassidy

Hell, MI

(Talk about "Hot Stuff!" If you can't, stand the heat, pour a bucket of water on your electric oven.—Ed.)