HOME: The Republic of Tejasl

AGE: Muchachos no more.

PROFESSION: Takin’ Texas to the people.

HOBBIES: Driving cars a thousand miles an hour, pistol-whipping rude buzzards, paper-training their buffalo, infiltrating the U.S. of A. with their pervasive Texas Kulchur, inflicting Howard Bloom on the world.

LAST BOOK READ: OnBurritos And Beer In The White House by Billy Carter.

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Passing the boogie band I.Q. test with flying colors.

QUOTE: Oh, no, not on my new boots!

PROFILE: Not your average cactus-chewin’, bullet-spittin’ good ole boys; these hombres would just as soon give your ears orgasms with their bueno geetar licks as plant cattle horns on your Cadillac. Dangerous when wet.

BEER: Boy Howdy!