MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064 , Birmingham, MI 4801 ?_

TEARS FOR TOMMY

Tommy Bolin died last night, when I heard the . news I just couldn’t see it in my mind. It was so hard to believe, I think it’s the first time I’ve ever shed tears over somebody I never met. It was such a shock, Tommy would have been playing In Atlanta two nights after his death. I had planned to go meet him cause I always admired his music. Tommy was on the rise and he had it all going good-a new band, a new album and a very successful tour, but now, just like that, it’s gone, and I don’t want to believe it. I’ll remember him, his great guitar work and his masterful vocals forever.

I ask a favor of all, please! Don’t let Tommy’s image be overrun by thieves and crooks like the ones who picked at Jimi Hendrix like vultures. Kenny Bobb Morrow, Georgia

(May death be Tommy Bolin’s Santa Claus. — Ed.)

WHAT? NO KRAFTWERK?

In continual issues of your fine magazine, we are constantly barraged by articles and interviews based upon the same names: Kiss, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Ted Nugent, the Stones, Elton, Bowie, etc. Enough is enough!

There are numerous groups and musicians today making very valid and positive statements in music, and many of these possess far greater capabilities and talents than the people found in your pages. Among those we’vefoundinteresting and most intriguing are: Can, Steve Hillage, Tangerine Dream, Barclay James Harvest, Vangelis Papathanassiou, Magma, Henry Cow, Hawkwind, Klaus Schulze, Sensation’s Fix, Robert Fripp, the Strawbs, Eno, and this list could well go on...

Your self-appointed spokesmen for avantgarde and Continental musicians,

Robert Gale Joe MacPherson Beverly Hills, California (Watch a couple o/Star Trek reruns and call us in the morning. —Ed.)

BOP PROSODY STRIKES AGAIN!

you guys ain’t so great anymore, you use too many big words, cut that out. never mind, i’d rather read It’s On/y A Movie anyway, in all due respect,

J. Kerouac Newtonville, Mass.

(Big words? Why you old pulchritudinous purveyor of pestled prose, we didn’t think you had it in you. —Ed.)

NOBODY LIKES A TATTLE TALE

I’ve been a loyal reader of yours since before you guys knew how to spell “Eddie Fisher,” and I thought 1 should report the following occurrence at a recent concert in Chicago. I was just loitering around the backstage door waiting to sneak in when these two real creepy characters—one guy, one girl—shoved past me. They got held up at the door 50 I heard most of their idle conversation. It turned out that they were from CREEM—or at least they said they were—they sure didn’t look like anybody I met at the Rock Critics convention in Memphis, but then ma^be you critics aren’t such good help these days (1 could smell their breath a mile away). Anyway, I think that I should tell you that although they were planning on writing a story about the concert, I know from their conversation that they DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT. All the while, they were at a cruddy movie downtown—probably some mushy tearjerker/cause the girl’s voice kept breaking whenever she remembered the scene where the big guy fell off the building and hurt himself. They sure weren’t very conscientious, cause 1 heard the guy say stuff like “Don’t worry sister, all these heavy metal acts sound alike, nobody will know the difference. Just ask one of the groupies which one plays lead guitar and tell him what a great solo he did, then you’re in the clear.” Is this really the way you guys write your articles? I’m kinda disillusioned.

Sincerely,

Little Johnny Dean

Downer’s Grove, Illinois

(All right, Bruno, we know it’s you. You of all people should know the proper procedure for rockstar interviews: if you’ve forgotten it’s time for another Dee-troit workshop. Give us any more trouble and it’s back to the Gregg-and-Cher beat for you—Ed.)

YOU RELATED TO BRIAN WILSON, KID?

I live for the moment when I open my mailbox and find my CREEM. It’s the only communication I have with my world. My world' where dreams and fantasies are turned into reality. FANTALITY! A world where politics is abandoned for the love and unity of music. Where music lives and breathes, feels and grows and swells up inside me until I want to burst with a flowing love. A love for the people who can only appreciate the goodness of rock ‘n’ roll.

Peace and love to all other beings who are as into music as I am.

Your HIGHness, Future Queen of Rock

Denise Damron

Louisville, Kentucky

(Keep your lid on, hon, cause the world of FANALITY can easily become one of BANALITY-Ed.)

WEIGHT LOSS MADE EASY

Being very busy I have put off writing this letter in response to a malicious statement about me in your December issue. My many rock’n’roll friends have urged me to write due to the fact that they were as hurt or bothered as much as 1. They all know I’m the “250 pound cherub named Jenny” who followed the Ramones during their California tour. A friend called me and told me about it. I cried for an hour.

• How could someone be that cruel? I weigh 85 pounds less than 250. Not only did I follow the Ramones, I helped them wherever I could. I brought them food, medicine, shampoo, etc., in L.A., San Francisco and Huntington Beach. Sometimes I provided an extra car, driving them to a sound-check during a misunderstanding and they had no ride. I bought them t-shirts during their visit. I’ve mailed photographs to them since then. Their manager, Danny Fields, called me their number one fan. Is that any way to treata fan?

Pam Brown should learn that we’re all in it for the love of rock’n’roll. Rock’n’roll allows us to express our dreams, fantasies, anger, frustration, boredom, joy, etc. She may think she’s a punk with her put-downs on her fellow women. Beauty is a reflection of the inner soul as well as the physical expression. Not all of us are so lucky to be born with perfectly functioning bodies. She should not hold physical imperfections against someone 3,000 miles away. As a subscriber with numerous rock’n’roll friends I have been bombarded with that quote. I hope she learns to think before she writes. I’ve enjoyed reading her but find unnecessary cruelty absolutely to her detriment as a writer . and as a woman. I hope she learns the beauty of compassion. It too is part of rock’n’roll.

Jenny Stern

Granada Hills, California (So, what would you have preferred—that Pam Brown have called you a 175 pound cherub? Why is that so cruel? Can’t you give Pam credit for some powers of observation? That’s the only mention of you in the article. Jeez, talk about sensitive people.—Ed.)

JOLTS FROM DOLTS

Do you know what the real tenth commandment is? I do. Don’t you? Give up? Aw, c’mon. Oh, alright. Thou shalt not commit a DaltreyU! Heh, Heh!

The Keith Moon Fan Club (Mental Organization Of Nuts)

Beltsville, Maryland

(You hep cats and kittens really got some bitchin’ talent, no two ways about it. You belong in a medium where your j talent can be more fully recognized—like TV. Rather than send your jokes to us, why don’t you send them to: Michael O’Donoghue, c/o “Saturday Night,” NBC, Rockefeller Plaza, New York, N.Y. 10020. Tell him wesentyou—Ed.)

REMEMBER, ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT STEVEN TYLER

Looking through an issue of CREEM awhile back, I came across this picture of Steven Tyler that I couldn’t resist cutting out and taping up on my locker at school. For three months every time I opened my locker people were coming up and asking me who the weird-looking guy was. My teachers started giving me strange looks in the halls. The rumor going around was that the student council was starting a petition to get CREEM banned from the school grounds. They were raising so much hell that I. was ready to give in and take the damn picture down. Well, listen, I don’t have a problem anymore—the school burned down yesterday. (I confess!!!) Anyway... Love yas, s Melissa }

Terwillinger, Texas

(Another. in a series of fascinating real life experiences culled from the annals of our readers’ truly cosmic existences. Thank you -Ed.)

OPENMOUTH SURGERY

Looks like Lou Reed chickened out after saying he’d have “1 Wanna Be Black” on Rock And Roll Heart. Apologizing Lou said “A big heart can be corrected by surgery but a big mouth can’t.” Print this, okay? It cost a lot to post.

Patti Smith For P.M/Committee

Marquee Club

London, U.K.

(Did f.ou have any comments about prostate problems?—Ed.)

THE NAKED AND THE DAMNED

We knew you were Hugh Hefner’s third magazine all along. We were positive when we got our November issue, along with the flesh. It’s O.K., it’s O.K. If you don’t want to expose your identity it’s fine with us. 1 would really have been more original if you had a body (please not the same one as on the November cover) covered only in Whipped (get this) CREEM. I guess y’all need some lessons before you really go out into the porno world.

Arky Vaughn

Houston, Texas

(You slim! You don’t think that if we wanted to go porn we’d hang out with an aging social climber like He/, do you? We’d look for class... like Larry Flynt-Ed.)

RHYTHM METHOD *

Ever notice that not too many people are dancing to rock anymore? They’re all dancing disco! And anyone who has looked to the past in music knows that once an art form such as music becomes undanceable, only a few hard core enthusiasts still keep going (look at classical music!!). Since disco and rock ‘n’ roll have similar beats and meters, why aren’tthey dancing to rock ‘n’ roll? Because all of the vogue disco dances need the beat on 2 and 4 in a .4/4 meter 1234—see?) and rock ‘n’ roll is usually accented on 1 and 3 (1234), it throws everything off for the dancer. (I hope I’m not getting too cerebral.)

What to do? Switch on the dancers! Start out on 2 and 4 and thep go to 1 and 3! Sounds stupid? Well, it’s BEEN DONE!!! Yes, Foghat had the answer before any of us! Listen to the beginning of “Slow Ride”: the bass drum starts on 2 and 4, the guitar comes in on the off beat and changes the whole pattern of beats but the underlying and unaccented 2 and 4 are still going on, and those who started dancing to the 2 and 4 can continue to do so! This isn’t a new idea either—think of jazz!

There is hope yet! But whatever you do—if you hear some good steamin’ rock—“get off your ass and jam!”

Wahoo Sam Crawford

Detroit, Michigan

(We have a much better trick. Next time you’re at your local meat rack and somnambulance seems to reign, just slip “Search and Destroy” into the DJ’s record pile, then stand back and watch the fun! And you won’teuen have to count the beats, either—Ed.)

CBGB’S IS NOT THE FILLMORE

I moved from Colorado back to New York last week. I wanted to hear some real music. I really love Lou Reed and I thought this new punk rock thing was going to be great. I went to CBGB’s one night to see “Richard Hell and the Void Oids.” I felt as if I was at a 1968 band practice in someone’s basement. What really pissed me off was that the audience got into it. I know rock’n’roll was never complicated, in either music or lyrics, but I swear they didn’t play more than two chords in each song, with words like “I wanna be your dog, ruff, ruff.”

No talent punks are really taking advantage. They know that people listen to anything and the worse it is, the better. I am really disappointed in rock’n’roll.

Valerie

New York, New York

(What did you expect from a group called the Void Oids—Santo and Johnny?—Ed.)

ANSWERS FROM SAN DIEGO

1.Roxy Music’s “Both Ends Burning” is obviously about eating Mexican food.

2. Lester Bangs’ hero is Idi Amin because “Amin” is almost the same as “amine” (as in “The Amine B Ring,” subtitle of M6tal Machine Music).

3.When you’re bored, try drawing Kiss makeup on dollar bills. George looks best in Gene Simmons’.

Relatively yours,

C. “Bunker” Smith > San Diego, CA f (An even better cure for boredom—write a letter to this magazine.—Ed.)

STEVE TYLER OR ALBERT SCHWEITZER?

I am writing in reference to the article on Aerosmith in your December issue. Having met Aerosmith some two years ago in the small city of Dayton, Ohio, I can see what fame and money have done to this band. At least then they weren’t afraid to talk to people. They have now turned into a bunch of self-glorified brats who associate with the common people only because it is the only way they can get their Dom Perignon, Mercedes Benz, etc. No one makes them go onstage and sing their bathroom songs like “Dream On.” If they really don’t like it and they don't feel their lives are fulfilling, they should get out of the business and do something worthwhile with their minds. Or take the money from one concert and give it to Cancer research. They might feel more fulfilled doing that, than listening to Elissa Perry’s (who comes off sounding like a glorified bigmouth, has-been groupie) cute witticisms about everything from Kiss to South Bend, Indiana. It seems to the band that the only thing that matters is themselves.

Sincerely,

Laura R. Wynn

Parma, Ohio

(How truly wrong you are. How quickly you have allowed yourself to judge. How desperately you have missed the point. Aerosmith already have a charity. A very important charity. Sure, it’s been kept hush-hush—you wouldn’t want them to blow the gig, would you? The charity is Thick Lip Research, Inc. in Menlo Park, New Jersey. It’s for those unfortunate folks who’s lips become thick and painfully swollen with blood whenever “I’m A Man” by the Yardbirds is played. There is no known cure, but there is hope. Thanks to the contributions of Aerosmith,'nearly 100 congenitally hearing-impaired lab technicians are working day and night out in Jersey to find a cure. —Ed.)

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FUNK’N’FLINT

Why are you shits always telling everyone that Grand Funk is from Flint, Michigan? We know and are sorry. Won’t you let us forget?,

Gotta go screw some more bolts on.

Joe Shop Rat Flint, Michigan

P.S. Do the Runaways use silicone or Kleenex? (Areyou crazy? Aren’t you proud? What else has ever come from Flint, Michigan?—Ed.)