HOME: Philadelphia! (Where else?)

AGE: They're just kids. Don't make 'em grow up.

PROFESSION: Trying to remove the heinous term Philly Soul from the lexicon of two generations of American music lovers.

HOBBIES: Anything masculine.

LAST BOOK READ: How To Build Increased Virility,

Masculine Poise And Shoulders Of He-man Proportion With My Amazing New Dynamic Tension Grip Jump Rope by Arnold Schwartznegger

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Being vapid enough to win the Rock Awards'"New Group Of The Year Award", yet smart enough to have Linda Blair accept it for them.

QUOTE: "We are not gay! We do not want to be black! And if you ask one more question about Philadelphia, we won't talk to you!"

PROFILE: FM radio titans who know just the right blend of R&B essence and rock trimmings to make for that filling, pseudosatisfying, gooey stuff that the public just loves to eat up. Yum!

BEER: Boy Howdy!