BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Saturday night! Time to have a good time, and tonight we're going to do it with a vengeance: Take our place in the — no, not singles bars. Tonight we're going to a few lesser-known venues. If you don't know where they are, you'll never find them, and chances are you don't belong there anyway.

Mind you, going out on the gay circuit requires finesse. There is a school of thought that believes in going directly for the jugular when it comes to laughs, but personally I like to save the most intoxicating thrill for last. Some people wait until 11 o'clock and go directly to the hot spot. How boring.

Almost every part of town will have a bar that is considered an "opener"; a bar that you would go to, to get the full of the evening — have a couple of drinks, do some shadow sliding, crotch gazing, and/or sleight of hand.

Opener bars usually provide a capsule view of what the tone of the evening is going to be. There is one centrally located in case you don't care for the provincialism of an East or West-side

place—the big "W". The "W" is dark .and cruisy and one of its highlights is the people behind the bar. Not only do they whip up an excellent drink but they also serve as information central. How carefully your question is answered of course depends on how well known you are or how attractive you look. The questions fall into a few simple categories — who is that by the jukebox and what about ft? Or who's with who, etc. There is no door charge at the "W" and no showing of ID — unless of course the owner wants to know who you are. This relaxed entrance philosophy is a courtesy for the cool. There is actually a very heavy screening job going on. The W's motto is "No tourists": You won't find it written on cocktail napkins but it's true nonetheless. The bar's personality really comes from the head man, Andy. This gay bar institution spends most of his time leering out at the crowd — yelling

"Grab something hot tonight" or "Tonight's the night!" Andy has also been known to turn the lights on full blast and yell "Take a good look at it — you've got time to change your mind!"

In gay bar history there was a time when most were owned by straights. Rumor has it that organized crime had a hand in — maybe, but I doubt it. Mostly the early gay bars had tried everything and failed, so on the bottom line it was bankruptcy or sell beers to whoever had the cash. These bars are now owned by people who share the same general proclivity as their patrons and we are all better off for this change of events.

There are a lot of different ways you can cruise at the "W". You can sit at the bar facing the bartenders and still see what's happening because in front of you is a big mirror mounted the length of the bar in such a way that you can admire yourself and anyone else sitting at the bar. There is no way to exaggerate the joy of picking someone up through the mirror. Sometimes you get stuck right there at the opener bar. But usually you get lubed up and move on to thrill number two.

Thrill number two, your next stop, is much like the "W" but closer to your final destination. It's here that you pick up a truer picture of the night's movement because people from all over congregate at this one. Usually a quick walk through and a few conversations will point you to the night's hotspot-tobe.

Now you must commit yourself. The closing time of 2:00 a .m. necessitates a decision. It's 11:30 or 12 midnight when you finally arrive at thrill town. For me it's the "M". Everything is here: Leather, satin, Ann Arbor, Birmingham...

Getting your car parked here can be a problem. The less adventuresome have arrived earlier than you and the lot is full. A generous display of cash will always turn the trick. Now you can fling yourself at the door.. Hold on — getting in to the "M" is easy IF you have a dollar for the cover and are White Middle Class.

Door security is heavy but not unpleasant. There is a sign in the entranceway that says "Five pieces of ID required." The reason is obvious. Racism and sexism exist everywhere in the USA; if the bar is kept heavily white and male the money rolls in. On the other hand if an imbalance occurs the usual flight takes place. These bars hate publicity that would bring sightseers no matter how hip or liberal. The tragedy of the Ole' G, keeps the door requirements unbending and constant.

This is a big bar and the best thing to do when you get inside is to check your coat and get a drink at the service bar . If you wait til you get to the back to order a drink you are in for a long wait. Now take that stroll towards the action. The aisle narrows as it reaches the dance area. Amidst a confusion of bodies and waiters you suddenly find yourself standing in a wide area that has another service bar and the ever-popular dance floor. The sound system is good and the music adequate. On extremely crowded nights short people will know they've reached the dance floor by the growing smell of amyl nitrate. DO NQT get caught using drugs in gay bars. The mood here is modern—M-O-D-E-R-N.

Gays are given to being a bit chameleonic in their physical presentation. I believe it stems from living two life poses; the mundane and TA DA! THAT GUY. You don't get dressed to go to the you costume, and im consistency is admired and expected. Tonight it's jeans * and a t-shirt; tomorrow perhaps a blue party dress. Costuming plays a part in the cueing process. Your image could b^ your desire — i.e , you are mirroring the type of companion you seek.

Disco Bor

Cruise Bar

It's essential that you cruise every position of the bar. After you've sought out the different vantage points you have two options. You can shuffle about, letting the crowd take you, or go into a holding pattern — finding your blind, staking out your sign. Once you've gotten a fix on the overall ambience of the bar you can go beyond the obvious. This takes a time-honored expertise in observation. Find out who's with who. Some came just to dance and socialize, but most are looking.

Pm pretty international in my taste. Race doesn't put me off like attitude does. If you're going to meet a person of another race in a gay bar, especially someone of the African nersuasion, it can be a sweaty palm event. Neither white or black come on to each other as a rule^ so they each want to make absolutely sure that the other wants to meet them.

After Hours Bar

Baths

Having a good time, but suddenly it's 2:00 a.m. Once again you have a decision to make. You can go to the after-hours club: Coffee and cokes, plus dancing. Or you can check into the baths. This last choice is one to be made only if you are willing to go full throttle. Let's face it, walking around in a towel and sitting nude in a whirlpool bath with twenty-five sex-crazed males says just one thing. From the outside the baths look like a hardly-used warehouse. Inside, once you're past very heavy screening — Clockwork Orange.