MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham, Ml 48012

ROCK'S FUTURE: GUITAR SLINGING POOZWAX

Dear wonderful people,

There are two things I want to say. First off, thanks and a thousand nods of appreciation for your 3rd Annual Guitar Break. I am and always will be a lover of the instrument in all its manifestations (I had grand delusions of being Women's Lib's answer to Jimmy Page, but the power bill would've broken my dear mummy's wallet), but there was one minor disappointment. You neglected to tell us anything about Alvarez guitars in the acoustic section. I own one, I got it used and in excellent condition in Mississippi for $90, and I wanted to know if I'd been taken though it doesn't really matter; no matter how much you pay for an instrument, if it gives you satisfaction when you play it, that's really all that counts. Secondly, it is my considered opinion that you are the last (and definlfely the greatest) of the rock "n" roll mags left. Seems all the others have gone downhill. I thought enough of your concise and rapid reporting (one bit of news that was in one issue of your rag turned up a month later in another) that I subscribed to CREEM, which is a first for me. Your mag has opened up for me a whole new spectrum of musical interests. Keep it up; you and my 8-tracks are the only things that keep my insanity up so I don't lose my mind. Figure that out.

Humbly and gratefully yours,

Super Pygmy

Ent. AFB, CO

(Woof woof! — Ed.)

BRUCE LIP

Lester, I'm surprised! Bruce Springsteen is really quite out of touch with reality, and we hardly need more of those, yes?

Interesting people told B.S. jokes for a week, then got too bored to bother. Rumor has it that Bruce is under consideration by Paramount Pictures to star in and provide the soundtrack for the USA's answer to Stardust, and A. Funicello is being drafted for the female lead. I, for one, am salivating in expectation.

G.P. Senegal Denver, Colorado

(Lester: "Bruce Springsteen is an enormously talented musician with lots of promise.")

INTERCEPTED LITTER

Promotion Department

Columbia Records

New York, N.Y. 10019

Gentlemen: ,

1 can dig it and 1 mean dig it ALL THE WAY! Fantastic. You guys are to be congratulated on fhe-finest hype of the year. 1975 will go down as the year of Bruce Springsteen. Wow! Too much.

At first 1 was put off by all the front the man was getting but now I'm hooked and I'm behind it one hundred percent. You can count on me to spread the gospel of Bruce on every occasion.

Here's what I personally intend to do:

First I will play Bruce Springsteen and Bruce Springsteen only on my popular 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. drive time radio show on W4. 1 will try to gef m,y program director to have the station go Bruce Springsteen 24 hours!

Second 1 have changed my name to Bruce Springsteen both on and off the air and am trying to talk my fellow announcers into becoming Bruce Springsteens too.

Third the station manager is hiring a very good plastic surgeon to make all of us look as much as possible like either Bruce Springsteen or Bob Dylan. We will all wear "B.S." armbands. We will, naturally, hold a Bruce Springsteen look-alike contest, give away Bruce Springsteen albums and have a "Win-a-date With Bruce" Contest.

All of this just scratches the surface of trying to tell you guys how damn deeply impressed we are behind this whole Bruce Springsteen hype. Fabulous!

Fourth and last for now, can you tell us Bruce's home address or better yet his phone number? This is vital! Thank you.

Warmest regards,

. Bruce D. Springsteen Bruce C. Springsteen WWWW-FM Detroit, Mich.

YANKTHYCRANK

Wow! What a thrill I got looking at Paul Rodgers in his briefs that's enough to turn anyone on! Talk about being overloaded— he's got twice as much as my boyfriend and my boyfriend ain't hurting for more!

T.J. Griffin Rochester, N.Y.

P.S. Next time why not show the real thing!! (Watch for CREEM's upcoming Popstar Popup book; you'll get an eyeful. — Ed.) *

CREEM AFTER DORK

Oh come now. Literally. That Creem Dreenj of Paul Rodgers in his di-dees is almost as funny as "Autobahn." When will you dorks learn? Next time you wanna give us a good piece, give us Queenie. Yeah I know you already did them, but you cut the cyties off at the waist and we didn't get to see their royal jewels.

Bye kidz —

Princess

P.S. DEATH MAY BE YOUR SANTA CLAUS. A little Jobraith told me so.

YEAH YEAH YEAH

Hi CREEM staff,

I want to inform You that from now on there is EUROPE'S ONLY IGGY POP FAN CLUB. For Your magazine, I send You two photos of these guys that run the fan club; so You know what we look, it's no kindergarten! You can publish these photos.

YOU DRIVE US HOT, WE DRIVE YOU CRAZY

Harald Inhulsen

Hagenring 21, 33 Braunschweig W. Germany

(We're sold. Now go snuff a rabbit and shove it down your pants. — Ed.)

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Last week I copped CREEM November "75, Vol. 7, No. 6.' Your magazine is fantastic. But this issue let me down in one particular section. Your movie section reviewed The Texas Chain-Saw Massacre^

I saw this movie approximately six months ago. I believe that this is undoubtedly the worst movi^ ever to be made. I usually average 1-2 movies a week. It was so real, terrifying and gruesome that afterwards, I wondered if the actors were really DEAD or not.

As far as I'm concerned, the people who wrote the screenplay for this movie should be kept under constant surveillance. THEY AIN'T SANE!

Please don't print my street address as I don't want the authors coming to look for me.

Yours,

C. Robert Creamer III

(Just goes to prove, that the power of the man's technology is stronger than the people. So get your own and MOW SOME DOWN! — Ed.)

IMPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE

1) What do you do when Nico's album The End is what is happening in your head?

2) Is reading Jean-Paul Sartre's book Nausea and listening to The End at the same time what it's like to die?

Moon

New Orleans £

(1. Be glad it's not The Marble Index. 2. No, but the feeling is what counts. — Ed.)

MORE DEATH DROOL Lou Reed, George Harrison, Keith Richard, Neil Young, Ron Wood, Ritchie Blackmore, Ian Hunter, Alice Cooper, Bob Dylan, Patti Smith, Pete Townshend, Bowie, Steve Tyler, Elton John and Rod Stewart.

p.s. Above is a list of the 15 most wasted, dead looking, hell-warmed-over people in the business.

p.p.s. Or is it a list of the 15 greatest people that ever lived?

p.p.s.s. Or is it a list of theonly people that ever lived?

Will we ever know!

The 16th

From somewhere between infinity and Eric Clapton

(Yeah, they're fools. You'll never catch Flandsome Dick Manitoba on a self-snuff list. — Ed.)

A FORTHRIGHT WEIRDO

Sirs:

If you think some of the quacks that write to you have problems, wait'll you hear mine:

1) I actually don't think Elton John is gay.

2) I turn on to Metal Machine Music.

3) I've worn my Donny Osmond sweatshirt for two months straight.

4) I honestly feel that all the groups appearing on

Don Kirshner's Rock Concert are of quality calibre. (

5) I didn't throw up while watching John Denver sub for Johnny Carson.

6) I still dream of the N.Y.'Dolls winning a Grammy for best group.

7) I'm 44, yet I still enjoy your magazine.

I'm considering shock therapy. Do you think it'll help?

Sincerely, ,

' lam Nutz

Westwood, N.J.

(You're just like us! — Ed.)

LONELYWOMAN CRIES OUT FOR LOVE

Thought you might like to have one of my current photographs (I'm the new Miss Nude America. ..formerly known as Cover Girl Cheryle)... and I wanted to tell you that I enjoy your magazine tremendously!

I'm sure many other readers write to you constantly, but I did want you to know that I'm an avid reader and enjoy all of the articles and photographs!

Perhaps you'd like to print the entire picture Jhat I sent you (or you may crop it if you so desire, & you have my permission to do so)!. .along with my letter in your Letters to the Editor column?!

Also... if any of your other readers wish to have a personally autographed picture of me just like the one shown with my letter...I'd be happy to send them one at no charge of course just because I agree with their taste in magazines!

They can write to'me at Dick Drost's Naked City (the world's largest nudist resort), Rose Lawn, Indiana 46372 or call me at 219-9872000...and I'll send, them a personally autographed picture also. Keep up the good work and don't you dare CREEM me!

Love and Miss Nude America Kisses,

Cheryle

ULTRAVIOLENCE: THERAPEUTIC?

I just bought the November issue of CREEM to-' day, and I was shocked. I read the feature article on Pete Townshend in an earlier issue of CREEM, and now the article on Rogeir Daltrey. These articles lead me to believe, like it or not, that CREEM is contributing to thfe demise of the Who. Why contribute to a conflict that has been present for quite some time? If Pete thinks Roger can't hold his booze, and.vice versa, why bring it up? It only serves to deepen the rift between the two, and brings fans like me to wonder why interviews are conducted at all. Getting to know your favorite musicians is one thing; contributing to their personal conflicts, another.

Sincerely,

Steve Johnson Ann Arbor, Mich.

(So don't read it and have a ball staying danced. In actuality [see this issue], Daltrey has said the stories helped instill a new solidarity in the band. — Ed.)

JOIN THE B. HOWDY SWAP CLUB I was wondering if there is any way I could write tq Roger Daltrey. If there is can you please send me his address.

Thank you,

Mrs. Celeste O'Brien West fPaterson, N.J.

(First you gotta qive Dana Gillespie a crack at the hubby. - Ed.)

CARBURETOR DUNG In reference to what you said about Jon Lord's car in the October issue: You dorks wouldn't know a good car if you were run over by it. It doesn't matter that his car is 20 years old. It just so happens that that particular Mercedes is one of the all time classic designs in automotive history, and costs an arm and two legs to get hold of one nowadays in the condition nis is (outstanding). Of course, I probably shouldn't expect too much from people who probably drive Honda 600 coupes.

Exhaustingly yours,

Big A1 (No, not that one)

P.S. Will somebody please put both Lou Reed and Lester Bangs out of their misery...please? (You mean we went wrong investing in skateboards? — Ed.) i

STATE OF THE CYBERNATION As all the pop/rock/fray of American youth steeped in insanity keeps floating to the surface, and as everyone's favorite dance partners get tired, and the grandfathers till the touring soil, so pulp and litho carry on letting us know all the boring details.

"This is a fine mess you've gotten us into!"

You can't have innovation without a logical pattern emerging; hence the electronic music/ rock constipation we have here. Several bands try to "break in" with their rather rudimentary goings on in em, but grandfathers have their old favorites don't they? Hey hey young whipper snappers!!

Now about all this talk on rock "n" roll. It seems that once upon a time a way of taxing young people was needed. \So they invented "rock stars," and "record albums" which carried approximately 45 minutes of coded trash to be reproduced by astronomically expensive "toy record players," and costing between $1.79 and $25.00 each depending on the discretion of the individual's need for self abuse through taxation. Naturally you can't have any idea of what it all "means" without a lifetime taxation subscription to "CREEM" Magazine. After all, in order to find the truly odorous dregs one must seek professional counsel.

But hark! All is not lost.

There is the LM39Q0 Quad current differential amp integrated circuit, and Stanley Kubrick's new filiji. And through personal experience I've found that there are literally hundreds of free reader service cards floating around, dying to be sent in (When.we're not writing to Mail Dept.). Now that said symptoms are isolated my diagnosis may be handed down for the grandfathers.

Dip your heads in varnish (collectively you rotters!) for as long as it takes to turn yourselves into cute little handbags and bird feeders (You only live twice).

I love you Robert Fripp. 1 love you /Joni and Jimi. I love you Rolls Royce Glass.

Tape loops and all that,

C. Metting ,

St. Clair Shores, Mich.

A FAN'S NUTS

As I sit reading my latest ish of CREEM, listening to Hendrix work his magic and wrought out of sheer monoliths of power a mellow-bluesy version of red house, I suddenly come across a picture of Ruby Starr! WOTTA FICHER! WOTTA CHIC! But, I suppose, these are the thoughts of all the young dudes, rock "n" roll slaves like myself living from concert to concert, actually reading Lester Bangs's ^fticles, thanking the Great Flutznor that I didn't buy metal machine music an" hopin" that mott will come to Chicago, an" still groovin" on old stones and faces records, and I realize that all that and more wouldn't be possible if it hadn't been for you. Yer awright CREEM!

No. 1 Hendrix fan in midwest M. DelGuidice Chicago, Ill.

(Hmm...interesting concept, "slaves." — Ed.)

FRET WHIZ TAKES A DIVE Well, Ronno's done it again! First he becomes a spider and a legend in his time, and then proves his mate Ian wrong. I quote from Hunter, "If you pick a wrong musician in a position like a guitarist it's a year before you know." (Jan. "75) Ronson, you've made a new world's record — Mott claims it took them a week to know. Keep up the good work, Mick, I love ya.

Filled up with copies of CREEM Stratford, N.J.

P.S. Whatever happened to Sable Starr?

F.S.S. Lemme guess, she joined up with Sally — right?

(J. Whatsamatter, you anti-folkie or something? 2. She became a metermaid. — Ed.)

SNUFF FILM SCRIPT Rock has become such a bad joke that it should plead incompetence and let us get on with the mercykilling. Imitation Beatles, the snoring bore of Heavy Metal, Country Roll (it sure don't rock) ...shit by any,other name smells just as awful. I really respect America's Only Rock "n" Roll Magazine for carrying the torch for a music that's been suffering from deaf, dumb and blindness for too long. This deathwatch business sure is depressing. SHIT.

Raymond Cranage In Mourning Mililani, Hawaii

(Patti Smith. The Dictators. Eno. Bruce Springsteen, even. — Ed.)