HOME: Take a right at the Radio Shack, a left at Artaud’s down past Frederick’s of Hollywood, across the street from the Rorer Building.

AGE: Forever young, but too old to tell.

PROFESSION: Punks (white).

HOBBIES: Stocks and bondage; performing with telethon calendar kids for charity.

LAST BOOK READ: Dada by Marcel Duchamp (as told to Busby Berkeley).

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Getting married by a TV set; barnstorming their shoty-of-shows chautagua across the Yew-knighted States.

QUOTE: “Ouch! More! Please! Thank-you! Ouch!”

PROFILE: Having come to terms with the wretched excess of the Sixties, Seventies, porn movies, rock ‘n’ roll, sopers, dopers, and mopefs, these musicians, thespians, and pranksters have found the Way (and it ain’t exactly with J.C.) and are here to show it to you . . . without sparing the rod neither.

BEER: Boy Howdy!